Does your DH like how you dress

OP this isn't even about clothes. You don't have to live like this, life is far far too short. When you're away from this situation you won't believe what you put up with looking back.

Apart from the occasional comment of “do you know how many Iron Maiden t shirts you have?” I’m not sure my husband notices. If we’re going out somewhere and I dress up he will say I look really nice. I think his view is I can dress how I like, some things might be more what he likes me in but he’d never really say

So when he "berates" you, over clothes or whatever else, if you tell him to knock it off and stop bossing you, what happens next? Are you scared of him?

To be honest, if my husband buys or wears something that looks shit I will tell him it’s not good. Or if we are going out and he dresses poorly. For example going out somewhere dressy last week he put an old rather washed out black shirt that was miles too big for him on and said is this ok, I was like hmmm. Maybe not, try this, so he changed. He is fairly clueless, and tends to the sketcher side of things.

however he does always tell me I look lovely or what I’m wearing is really nice, and I’ve been with him since I was 20, so over 3o years now. The only exception was I bought a new me + em skirt two weeks ago, I love it, tried it on and he went silent and then said I don’t like that. Which threw me.

I then got dressed to go to the black shirt incident event, wore it, then thought maybe not, and changed, and he said, why did you change, you looked lovely in the first outfit, and I said I was second guessing the skirt, thought he didn’t like it, and he raised an eyebrow and said, actually no it looks really nice on. I think he takes in the whole package sort of thing, and when I tried it on, I was wearing an old top that clashed , and really big socks, so I think he kinda looked at the whole thing and thought hmm that doesn’t work. Where as when I put a top on that went with it. His opinion changed.

i can’t imagine a scenario he started screaming and shouting at me as he didn’t like it, and as everyone has guessed there would be much wider marital problems if that was how he behaved over something so minor; and the same applies to me, I may say that’s not a good look, but I’d never scream and shout about it.

Screaming and shouting at your wife about a cardigan is not normal behaviour AT ALL. You are an adult and can wear what you like. He sounds controlling and a bully.
You've done a good thing by posting as you are questioning the reality he is feeding you that you are doing everything ‘wrong’. You are not. Adults chose their own clothes and don’t scream and shout if a partner wears something they don’t like. Adults don’t control how other adults take stuff out of an oven and get hysterical when something is dropped.
It sounds like you are walking on eggshells and being made to feel small and incompetent. But you have power. And posting here shows that. A partner should be building you up not tearing you down. You’ve taken a small step here. And now to take other small steps. Is there anyone you can speak to in real life about this? Do you feel physically unsafe? The link below has some info to consider:

https://womensaid.org.uk

My husband always tells me I know what looks good. He loves my clothes. I wouldn’t mind if he expressed his dislike for something. I do with him, as he’s fairly clueless. And if I was wearing floral tops and cardigans, he might have a point.

But screaming and shouting? No way.

DP very rarely comments on what I wear so have no idea
Occasionally he will say something but always positive eg - that’s a nice dress or you suit that colour
Once in a while I might ask his opinion if we are going somewhere special and I can’t choose between 2 outfits
I would only comment about his clothes in similar circumstances or if there was something he hadn’t noticed such as a mark or hole that he hadn’t seen

Never asked him, although he's said i look very nice in a few dresses.

Hes a dick. Can you leave him?

He is a misogynistic twat. Dress how you want. If my spouse made any comment on my clothes, I’d tell him to do one. What an arsehole

My DH has things he particularly likes when I wear them and things he’s ambivalent to, but no way on earth would he scream and shout or bellow at me about any item of clothing because he’s not a raving mad man!

Likewise I prefer him in straight blue jeans to the black skinny ones he favours (ex-rock band member, still dresses that way) and I actively dislike his wide skate shoes, but again I’m not an abusive dick so he wears what he likes and feels comfortable in and I look at the man within the clothes, not the clothes themselves.

He screamed and shouted over a cardigan.. wow
does he have other issues?

How strange. I wouldn’t even ask my dh’s opinion.

I’m sorry but that’s really tickled me 😂😂😂

My husband jokes that he hates the loafers that I love in. Also my coat that makes me look like Alf garnets wife. I wear them all the more to annoy him. He would never be abusive about it!

Dh has never commented on my appearance for better or worse and tbh one of the reasons I married him
He doesnt care what I wear, or how I have my hair or if I gained or lost weight. He just see's me. It was so refreshing when I met him

Never had hubby comment other that the odd time how lovely and outfit looks, he would never tell me what to wear etc and I will always tell him what to wear haha 😂

My husband would have never have commented on anything I chose to wear and definitely would never have shouted at me for wearing something. Saying that, I did once buy a pair of leopard print shorts and he called me Prince Naseem all day, I didn't wear them again but im sure ive still got them 😳

Neither has mine and I’m happy with that. I may ask his opinion but ultimately it’s my choice and vice versa.

Screamed and shouted because he didnt like what you were wearing?! LTB

My DH does not give a fuck what I wear and I don’t give a fuck what he wears. Neither of us are into fashion, but that shouldn’t matter anyway.
I mostly wear very colourful things. Both my children mostly wear black clothes.

I was horrified by the screaming and shouting about a fucking cardigan - but this isn't about your clothes, is it? Youre living with an abusive, controlling wanker, and it never gets better.

Can you start making plans to leave? This time next year, you and DD could be somewhere safe and peaceful on your own, wearing whatever clothes you want.

He sounds crazy

No man would ever scream at me over what I was wearing and get away with it tbh. How dare he? You’re not there to perform for him like a dancing monkey.

My husband only really comments when I wear a white t shirt, because he has a weird thing for me in a white t shirt. God knows why.

He sounds very abusive, I would be very concerned.

My DH doesn't appear to notice what I wear, I don't think he has commented more than a couple of times in over 30 years. Even then I probably asked for feedback.

We do, however, do some outdoor activities and he notices immediately if I don't have safety gear clipped on properly or if I've forgotten to put the proper footwear on.

Absolutely no clue as if he doesn't like something he has the sense to keep it to himself.