To be disgusted by murder-suicide reporting?

Yes and that's all well and good we've probably all experienced a situation where someone needs social care and is absolutely against it.

I think the point is the horrific method of unlawfully killing her. Merciful would be to lace her drinks with sleeping meds then a pillow over her face.

To bludgeon a defenceless ill woman then strangle them is so horrifically violent and no amount of mitigating factors makes it understandable or ok.

You are viewing this only male violence against women, in this case it’s a very blinkered view. The BBC article shows her own brother describing the situation, her deterioration and complete denial. If you are in the lucky position of never experiencing Huntingdons then you will not understand how isolating the condition is for carers and sufferers. If she was in denial about her deteriorating health she was unlikely to be engaging with support any time soon if ever. It took 10 years to get my dad into a proper care home and the help he needed , including 3 evictions from destroyed flats and 2 sections, even then he resisted any personal care until he physically couldn’t. All the while wearing the same clothes for years, having mountains of rubbish pile up in his home until I could sneak in and clear, for which I was harangued. Social workers had the door slammed in their face, countless doctors and hospital appointments deliberately missed, even when hospital transport was arranged, all met with swearing and aggression. This is what denial looks like and it can last for decades. And authorities will always collude with the person in denial because it’s cheaper. It’s extremely isolating. And if they were aware of the family history they likely knew it would get worse.

I cant open the link but it says the women had Huntington's in the title.

Have you ever had experience with Huntington's? It is an absolutely heartbreaking and horrific condition that i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

Seeing it in someone you love must be unbearable.

I used to work with people with Huntington's and I don't think any of them wanted to live. It changes people and makes them prisoners inside their own bodies. Their bodies are uncontrollable and exhaust them. They also lose the ability to swallow and often choke to death which may have made feeding her an overdose, as other posters have said, impossible.

It can cause severe aggression and mood changes and violence at certain stages, which is also very hard for carers. To see someone you love like that must be unbearable.

People who said he could have left her in care - he could have, of course. Which makes me think that maybe he really did love her and couldn't bear for her to continue suffering (although i dont agree with how he went about it). I don't think we can judge this man, but we can still feel devastated for his wife.

sorry but this example is why i wouldnt even open the daily mail link

yanbu op

Poole man kills wife and himself after disease symptoms worsen - BBC News

how sad for the family

The OP is about the reporting, not the specific act and on that I strongly agree. Reporting is always focused on the male point of view and disturbingly sympathetic to it. There’s always an excuse found - because one is actively sought. The woman is always the object not the subject.

For an utterly unambiguous example look at the reporting of the murder of the Head of Epsom College in 2023.

Fraid not. As Smithy would say “I can’t afford that, not if I’m going to have an ‘oliday next year” 😂

Yes I’m with you

that women who was a nurse went to dignatas didn’t she at 70
as she’s had a good life and knew if she slipped and broke her hip she wouldn’t be able to do it

she had worked in care of elderly and seen too much!

she wanted to do it before her choice was taken away

No! I thought it was about 2k

I believe she wasnt. A double suicide isn't unheard of.
Seems she didnt want to go on without him. Perfectly possible.

Mixed feelings really, unless you've been a full time carer for someone who is only going to deteriorate further its hard to understand how soul destroying and awful it is. It’s not for the faint hearted.
This is what we get with our improved health care, years ago we got old, and ill and died promptly, now we get old, ill, and live on for decades - at the expense of the life of the spouse or child (usually a daughter!)

I really hope we end up with a Swiss style Pegasos type clinic here, where you just need to be of sound mind and not the terminal illness 6mth to live restriction - I’d want to check out the minute I had a suspicion of dementia or similar awful old age diseases. No way do I want my kids, (or DH)sacrificing their life for mine.

Yabu. I dont know the ins and outs of this case but I have sympathy for those who choose this route when faced with horrendous illnesses. He could have put her in a home, but perhaps he felt this was the better option, he lost his life too. It is hard to know what they had discussed previously in their 40 years together. Seems a bit pointless to look further into it when he took his life as well.

Agree. My dad is caring for my mum who has Alzheimer’s and the support my dad gets, with exception of myself and sister, is zero. Unless you see it first hand, caring for a loved one with a terminal illness is very hard physically and mentally is horrendous not to mention the isolation and the despair seeing the women he has loved for 60 plus years end her life like this. This guy saw no other way out.

Strangely enough, I looked it up yesterday. 11k Swiss francs which is over £10k

Yes it’s quite a lot of money - you could put on cc maybe..few thousand

I think there would be a sizeable market for it @grumpygrape

If I was in her situation, I wouldn’t want my long term partner to leave me on my own.

Its possible to understand that someone can reach the end of their rope and also understand that it's still cold blooded murder.

I agree with you OP. He violently murdered her. That's not a mercy killing. Ever.

Murder-suicide is so commonplace that I’m sorry to say that when I heard that Rob and Michele Reiner were found dead together, I assumed it was yet another instance.

Yes, that's a really important layer to it. The care sector would be absolutely screwed without immigration but we're seeing more and more racism with the rise of Reform.