To be disgusted by murder-suicide reporting?

You could say that about any man who kills his wife.

I don’t think many murderers are thinking straight when they do it, apart from maybe serial killers. Vast majority are in a fit of rage for whatever reason.

I know he didn’t kill anyone but similar to the driver in Liverpool- clearly wasn’t thinking straight because he was in a rage. Doesn’t make it any better.

He knocked her out, strangled her and then killed himself

I'm sure he was thinking normally 🙄

Abandoning them to die a slow and suffering death all alone is more merciful???!!

@Maddyisqueen I referred to the BBC report. I have not read the daily hate mail report.

The Bournemouth echo report is identical to the BBC report.

I’m still waiting for reports that the wife was in the later stages of the disease and had high care needs etc.

Her worsening symptoms were described as jerky movements, weight loss, slurred speech and irritability.

As a full time carer for over a decade I am not bashing carers. CA is a pittance and help is a joke and often unsuitable as it does not provide much needed respite, especially when external help is rejected by those needing care. When things are not too bad I see no point in my life beyond caring but carry on, when things are worse I want to go on a 6 month retreat and be rebuilt from the ground up but know it’s not possible. Violently killing and then hanging myself don’t feature.

Exactly he would’ve got fuck all help I know I spent the last 4 years helping my mum and her sisters to take care of my grandma we got absolutely no help whatsoever from anyone there was nothing they could do for us. Oh but all of a sudden they can magic up some help when she was near the end oh they had loads of suggestions for us then after we damn near killed ourselves to look after her. Every time she went into the hospital we had to take turns spending the night with her just to take care of her. She passed away last Thursday and the treatment we received from the district nurses, hospital and the GP was the worst we’ve ever had in the 4 years we spent caring for her. I’m not at all surprised that he did what he did to himself and his wife because old age is only good if you don’t have any health issues otherwise it’s absolutely fucking miserable.

We don’t know what support he asked for. It was documented that she refused support which is very common in early Huntington’s (and I use early to describe someone who doesn’t require 24 hour care which she did not). I have worked in a related area for a long time and the Huntington’s Disease association have been involved in some way with everyone I have supported with the illness. They are a forceful charity with advisors who will fight for the people they help. Also they are very knowledgeable about the law and when a person lacks capacity and the MCA needs to take over to administer support. Maybe this support didn’t get to him, maybe it was there and he chose not to use it.

It’s awful to care for someone with Huntingtons and good support won’t make it much better, but, an unwell lady who was also suffering did not deserve to die in such a scary, painful and undignified way. She needs to be remembered as the victim in this and not him.

Thats the bottom line.
Carers are left to fend for themselves to breaking point.
Restbite is few and far between.
Those who shout loudest get most support.
Those who struggle in silence are left too it.

Even if he'd called for help, what would he actually have got ?

Dementia care should be part of the NHS.

‘Reporting or other evidence’ ? Contradiction in terms. Reporting is reporting, not evidence, evidence is evidence.

You have no evidence either way but maybe the (factual) report of the inquest by the Bournemouth Echo might help.

The hearing was told that Mrs Newton’s family had a history of the inherited brain disorder Huntingdon’s disease which had claimed the lives of her sister, Patricia, and father.

Her brother, Christopher Wadman, said in a statement read to the inquest that his sister, who had worked as a hotel conference secretary, had shown deteriorating symptoms when the couple visited for Christmas.

He said these included signs of jerky movements known as chorea, weight loss, slurred speech and irritability.

Mr Wadman said: “During this period of time where Heather’s Huntingdon’s had developed, Michael has been brilliant to her with his support and helping her get through it.

“Heather’s condition had worsened more than any of us had actually realised and it was a shock. She had always been in denial about it.”

His cousin, Dr Simon Wadman, said that he had called Mr Newton to offer his support on Boxing Day after the couple had returned home early.

He said that Mr Newton had told him that the “last three or four weeks had been very difficult and Heather had been very emotionally unstable and irritable, he felt like he had been walking on egg shells, Heather was in denial about her condition which made it difficult to manage.”

Detective Inspector Ian Allen, of Dorset Police, said that a note in Mr Newton’s handwriting was found at the house, adding: “It gives rise to the hypothesis that Michael was struggling with Heather’s condition.”

“It seems the symptoms of Huntingdon’s disease became more pronounced in the weeks leading up to Christmas with friends noting Mrs Newton becoming agitated and confused and when this was raised with Mr Newton he admitted he was struggling to cope with these new symptoms.”

Damn, I said I was out of here and only came back to acknowledge people who had been supportive, not people who think they can get and draw conclusions from a report in a news rag.

He wouldn’t have been thinking straight

Abut that doesn’t explain the sheer violence of the death or the fact that she was just left on the floor.

Too many people on this thread only seem to be considering him and not the awful, painful and terrifying way that she died.

I find it more disgusting the way so many are talking about a man who had done the best for his wife for years and who may well have already discussed with her what she wanted

Maybe he knew his family would always blame him regardless of her saying she wanted it so he didn't mention that, wanting her family to view her as a fighter?

And a daily hate mail article at that!

https://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/25705430.inquest-held-death-elderly-couple-poole/

It's always good not to rely on one media report, especially the Daily Mail.

The inquest included testimony from the victims family about how great her DH was and had been in the context of her serious illness and how she was unwilling to accept help.

He's not a man who killed his wife then hoped to 'get off'. He killed her then killed himself.

The Daily Mails assumption it was a 'mercy killing' was just that, an assumption.

@grumpygrape if you have reporting or other evidence to suggest this lady was in the latter stages of the disease and had high care needs, that her husband was a full time carer at the end of his tether or had sought alternative care or had a care assessment etc then please share them.

All that analysis from one press report.... Congratulations 👏

From the BBC report linked above it does not sound as if this lady was in the later stages of the disease but transitioning from early to middle stage with limited care needs.

The violent method of death, the location of her body and the ruling of ‘unlawful’ killing heavily suggest that this was not a mercy killing carried out by a full time carer at the end of their tether but carried out in anger and the subsequent suicide was to avoid a murder charge. This is akin to the violent killing of a person in the early/middle stages of dementia. There are obvious problems with the care system but it would seem this death did not result from them.

To answer the OP’s question, I think the man’s actions were shocking, and I certainly wouldn’t defend him. And I agree about the title, it does minimise the violence involved.

Sorry, I’ve just noticed that I spelled Huntington’s Disease wrong. It shows I don’t know much about it! It sounds ghastly. I’m so sorry for anyone having to live through that, sufferers or carers.

I hear you. Have been there myself. These threads are probably best avoided, but here I am too! Hope you’re ok

As has been pointed out, with women it happens with their disabled DC; you hear accounts of them jumping off bridges with them.

When it’s a male partner, a woman is likely to be on the receiving end of violence if he develops Huntingdon’s/dementia. I have a friend who was on the receiving end when her previously lovely DH had advanced stage early onset Alzheimer’s. (He tragically died in his early 60s 3 years ago now.)

And strangulation. I takes quite something to kill a woman that way because you actually watch them die. This is awful. My thoughts are with the family who probably feel the same way as you, Op. I know I do.

You never hear of it the other way round do you? It’s always the husband who struggles with an ill wife.
Happy to be proven wrong…

I agree OP, sadly there's a never ending queue of people ready to defend men who murder women.

Grumpy, I hope you can get some support. I do understand how hard it can be and the effect on one's mental health. Try to take care of yourself (easier said than done, I know).