Christmas Day - change of plans

HRTFT but I can't believe you're hosting at all. Given that you are, a table runner and few serving dishes are not something I could find offensive enough to get upset about.
Let them all crack on, put your feet up where you can and have a lovely stress-free Christmas.

This. Let her do all the work & you sit with your feet up. Imagine if you went into labour on Xmas Day? She'd have to take over then.
We were hosting one year & my dgs decided to put in an appearance on Xmas Day, 3 weeks early. By the time we'd finished eating the main course & pulled the crackers they were back on the ward. My dsis took us to hospital for a peek & we just left everyone else to carry on with Xmas Day without us for a bit.
Sorry I digressed there as i was reliving the moment. If you want Xmas Day at your house just relax with your feet up, let mil crack on this year. Accept all the help you can get. You can make a stand next year if you have to. And be prepared to just leave everyone to it if baby decides to put in an appearance. It was the happiest Xmas Day ever!

Yes let her crack on. This year. Next year your Christmas. Time to set the boundaries.

Let mil crack on with all her bits and platters etc and put your feet up. Who cares how she sets the table etc

I know my mil would literally be twitching about mismatched crockery or not having a lovely table set.

There loads more Christmas's where you can host and do it your way once baby arrives.

I would happily sit back and let everyone else sort it out. Cook whatever, decorate the table however they want and use any dishes they please as long as I don't have to lift a finger.

Same as @Lovelynames123 - I don’t care about any of the ‘table dressing’ stuff, it’s completely Irrelevant to me so if anyone else has strong feelings about it that is coming to me at Christmas they would be welcome to crack on and bring whatever.
Let her lay the table and faff about over it if it makes her happy, it’s not taking anything away from you.
Way bigger fish to fry imo, this is just about the smallest Christmas issue there might be!!

This.... makes it look pretty with no effort from you.

Also, and trying so hard not to sound judgemental but all your crockery ie normal plates/bowls are all mismatched? I have 2 sets but they compliment each other colour wise....neither is for "best" i just couldnt make my mind up and we needed 2 sets of whatever one we chose anyway as when all my family is here its over 10 anyway. Some of them are chipped etc.

My serving stuff is not matched though, in fact most comes out the oven and onto heat proof table toppers.

Why are you putting yourself through this? If it was me Id be having Xmas at home on my own with H and everyone else would have to get on with it.

You do NONE of it.

Not the planning.

Not the discussions.

Not the cooking or the hosting or the annoying.

This is entirely on your DH. You're growing a human being. HIS child.

You sit.

I agree. Table runners and gravy boats aren’t worth getting worked up about. You’ll have enough to do if you’re hosting - I’d let her crack on and get yourself settled with snacks.

I wouldn't be bothered about her bringing a tablecloth to be honest. I'd just go with the flow and let DH handle as much as possible!

It wouldn't have been my choice, but since you say they are very flexible and can react to any change of plan on the day by going to your SILs then have at it. I think you should have put that in the opening post BTW.
I agree with the others who say put your feet up and let them get on with it.

Personally I would suggest this comes in the don’t sweat the small stuff category, does it matter if she brings matching cutlery, crockery and a nice tablecloth? Not worth making a stand over in my opinion plus personally I prefer matching cutlery, it’s not the design it is that matched weighted cutlery is better (plus I like heavy cutlery). Remember to keep perspective, some people do care about these things and sometimes it’s nice to let them have their way

Not unreasonable to put your foot down.

But I'd let her go ahead:

1. I'd hazard a guess that having a matched table is more important to her, than having a mismatched table is to you, so let her enjoy it

2. It's less work for you for her to deal with the table etc, and late pregnancy is a good time to go for the lazier options!

Good plan! We hosted PILs at Christmas when I was 37 weeks pregnant. They brought everything, did everything and I sat on the sofa like a beached whale and let them crack on.

Only annoyance was my stomach was so squished by the baby that I couldn't eat that much Christmas dinner!

Enjoy having a person caterer 😁

It wouldn't bother me. Let her lay the table and provide the crockery. It's not a big deal.

I think this is the right tack to take - let her make it as complicated for herself as she wants - and let your DH help her. Just do as per Dr's orders and sit back doing your best for her next grandchild. Anytime we hosted PILs, I let DH be the point man since they were his family.

If you’re doing the hosting, you get to choose how it’s done. If it’s more that it’s being held at your house but they are doing the cooking, then they get to choose how it’s served.

I’d leave it to my husband to sort out. He deals with his Mum and I deal with mine. I don’t want to be organizing other people’s families.
If you are getting bothered about it then It doesn’t harm to call her and tell her that you want to use your plates.

This is the type of thing that when you are older you will wonder why you ever cared about it.