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Original poster

What age do 'kids' start buying presents?

38 replies

problembottom · 17/12/2025 15:08

DP has two very lovely nephews, both working full-time and both living at home so with some disposable income I guess. They are 22 and 24 and DP's DSis still sticks their names on her cards and presents, ie they don't buy their own.

Is this normal? I've been thinking about it since they each turned 20 or so but maybe I'm wrong. DP has always spent about £100 each on his nephews, they were the only kids in his family for a long time and he loves to spoil them rotten so I feel like a little token present from them to him would be nice now?

My lovely nieces and nephews who range from 12 to 19 have always 'bought' me presents chosen themselves courtesy of my DSis so maybe this is skewing my thinking as I feel a bit sorry for DP. Our DD, 7, chooses little presents for everyone in the fam too (she wants to get chocolates this year). I think it's important to teach kids to give as well as receive I guess.

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 17/12/2025 15:31

I wouldn’t ever expect them to buy for aunts and uncles.

Parents, each other, and grandparents from the start. Initially, obviously, funded by parents directly, then from pocket money, then their own money. Or handmade, or whatever. But the principle of reciprocal giving can be baked in from the start.

Original poster
problembottom · 17/12/2025 15:30

I was just thinking that - does the signing kids names continue into their 30s, 40s and 50s?

OP posts:
Soony · 17/12/2025 15:28

Just to add that the odd thing about it is putting the DC name to a card or present from you. I've noticed that some of my friends put from John and Janet and Tom and Jemima. I just put from DH and me.

Original poster
problembottom · 17/12/2025 15:27

DP doesn't have any uncles or aunties, sorry that's not helpful haha, so no trend to follow there.

It's not really about the money, I don't want to him to spend less on his nephews, it's more about a token gift in return. But I'm picking up from this thread that my family are the mad ones who go a bit wild with all the Christmas presents maybe? I used to buy my auntie and uncle a present every year, all of us kids did, she's no longer with us bless her.

OP posts:
Soony · 17/12/2025 15:26

My DC (late 20s) started buying us presents around 16 or so when they had part time jobs. They don't buy for my sister who is the only adult other than their parents who buys for them. I still buy for my niece who is 27 and it hadn't occurred to me that she doesn't buy for me.
I get that it's polite to give but I don't really care.

Upstartled · 17/12/2025 15:20

problembottom · 17/12/2025 15:16

DP has occasionally commented he doesn't get many presents which makes me a bit sorry for him. He would never say anything negative about his nephews and he certainly doesn't give presents to receive, he's known in his family for being super generous. He's too busy with work to think about it much, it's more me being over protective I think.

This is never something I'm going to bring up in real life, I love his family, I'm just curious if it's the norm.

I'm just wondering if this the gift giving culture in his family. Did he and his sibling/s buy his aunts and uncles gifts as young adults?

notcomfortable · 17/12/2025 15:19

My oldest is only 11 so has never 'bought any presents'
But I am the same, I have never got aunties and uncles any presents.
Just stop spending so much if they aren't reciprocating

PurpleThistle7 · 17/12/2025 15:18

My kids have spent a bit of their own money buying presents for each other and us since they started getting pocket money - so maybe around 7? Obviously we top up their money but it's the start of moving towards independence.

This year my inlaws suggested a homemade theme for Christmas and my kids (12 and 9 now) have made gifts for everyone attending Christmas - so 8 gifts for the extended family.

I started getting gifts for people the first year I went to my then boyfriend's for Christmas - we were 20. I didn't celebrate it before as I'm Jewish and in our household Chanukah presents were only for children and they stopped after high school. I think it would be super weird to have my parents pay for a gift from me when I was a grown adult.

Original poster
problembottom · 17/12/2025 15:16

DP has occasionally commented he doesn't get many presents which makes me a bit sorry for him. He would never say anything negative about his nephews and he certainly doesn't give presents to receive, he's known in his family for being super generous. He's too busy with work to think about it much, it's more me being over protective I think.

This is never something I'm going to bring up in real life, I love his family, I'm just curious if it's the norm.

OP posts:
Upstartled · 17/12/2025 15:13

What does your DP think? Does he think this is a problem?

Pricelessadvice · 17/12/2025 15:10

My cousins are still like this. 30 and 26 and my aunty still puts their name in cards and communal gifts. Both have good full time jobs.
I’ve been buying them separate presents since I turned 18! More fool me I suppose.
It just doesn’t seem to enter their heads that they should buy anyone gifts or cards.

Livelaughlurgy · 17/12/2025 15:10

I don't think I ever bought my aunts and uncles anything. A bottle of wine maybe along with something for my cousins. But it wouldn't have been the norm in our family. And definitely not for my siblings and in laws.

tinyspiny · 17/12/2025 15:10

Mine started using their own money to buy for relatives from about 18 prior to that we gave them money to buy things or ordered online what they wanted to give .

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