To cut my sister off if she does this again this year?

Just scale back your efforts OP and mirror your sisters attitude to gift giving etc back at her. She can hardly object as you can just say ‘oh I thought we weren’t doing gifts anymore as you never get my family any’. I wouldn’t cut her off though - especially as she lives with your parents as that would have big consequences for the whole family dynamic which would probably
be more impactful on your daughter than her missing out on a couple of £10 presents per year

I wouldn’t cut her off but would stop acknowledging her birthday and for Christmas

Just stop buying her gifts.

I haven't given any gifts for over 40 years and don't expect anything either.

Agree it is unreasonable, however the question to me would be how you daughter would feel if hardly ever seeing her aunt.

Then how does she explain that she wants presents without providing any herself?

It is thoughtless and unkind but if I were you I would let it go….
My children’s birthdays are fairly regularly missed by my DH’s siblings. It used to bother me as it takes so little time to show someone that you’re thinking of them, especially children because you can give money, sweets, clothes etc
I just realised that they are quite self absorbed and ‘busy’ and that they wouldn’t change so there is literally no point in getting annoyed.
My DH says I shouldn’t buy for my nieces and nephews on that side because it’s not reciprocated but I don’t give to receive, and I’d hate any of the children to wonder why we hadn’t sent them a card/pressie for their birthday/christmas so I make sure they get something despite juggling work/family and being busy too 😂
Your sister won’t change, she is selfish. You won’t forget her lack of effort and your DD won’t really miss a present from her but I’d definitely not say anything about it to her again.

Just stop buying her gifts and cards…….why waste your money if the sentiment isn’t reciprocated?

This is clearly a drip feed situation where suddenly there will be a much longer story as in and of itself, this isn't a massive problem. I'm sure you make sure your daughter feels special and loved on her birthdays and Christmas and whatever else anyone does is just a bonus really.

My sister in law never remembers to send my kids anything. She is selfish but also has a complicated life - and we live overseas so it's a palaver to get stuff shipped or ordered or whatever. We used to buy the kids' stuff and pretend it was from her but we slowly stopped doing that and my kids don't care. You likely care far more than your daughter does so I would suggest you just disengage a bit for a peaceful life. No need for a massive drama.

Let's put the no gifts thing to the side because that's a can of worms I don't want to unleash right now.

How is she other than that? Does she have a good relationship with you? With your DD?

That wasn't the question. The question was whether she should cut her sister off for it, which signals that OP is probably the unreasonable one because it's so dramatic and over the top.

Sadly you can't force someone to be a thoughtful adult OP. All you can do is match their energy.

Totally agree. And your sister is a young adult, they just don't always remember birthdays. You're being precious and unreasonable.

YABU. Much more to a relationship than gift giving, she came to see your DD. I'd rather that than someone who just sends gifts but shows no interest in us. By all means don't buy her any cards or gifts but cutting her out of your life is extreme.

Of all the family issues that cause people to go no contact, this is the most ridiculous one. Concentrate on making birthdays and Christmas special for you own child. The world doesn’t revolve around them for anyone else but you.

My sister came to my daughters birthday party with her boyfriend. They both ate and drank their fill. Never brought a card or present but left in the middle to buy a birthday card for his niece and made a point of showing it to me when they got back. I’m no longer in contact with the bitch.

I mean completely cutting her off (unless there is a back story about how she's a nightmare 365 days a year) seems a bit much.

It is though 100% shit she doesn't get her niece a present.

Op OF COURSE it’s not bloody unreasonable to expect your sister to buy her only niece a card on her birthday! Only on Mumsnet is this ‘entitled and grabby behaviour’ - Mumsnet only considers legal relationships aka marriage, relationships where you can expect anything at all or any kind of care.

Wow, your very dramatic. She saw her for her birthday its not like she made no effort. Are you always this dramatic?

Feels like a big drip feed. You started off saying you see your sister regularly and no mention of any other issues with her, and now it’s - no one likes her, no one in the family would miss her etc, despite the fact that she lives with your parents. Not sure which is the case here. If there is a lot more to it and lots of bad things she has done, why is this thread about Christmas presents which are actually no big deal???

Omg you'd cut off your own sister because over a present?? Yikes!

So its annoying but its not a big deal. When she has kids she'll probably look back and realise she was a bit of an asshole about it. Just dont get her one and keep on living your life without letting this bother you

People are so dramatic now and have no tolerance for other people. How often do you see her once, twice a year. Can't you just paint on a smile offer a cup of tea and make small talk for the 30 minutes a year you see her without making a big dramatic announcement about going no contact with her and making a thing of it.

Have you actually spoken to her about it? That it's disappointing she has no interest in her niece and that aunts generally mark birthdays and Christmas with cards and gifts? It would only be at this point I'd stop buying gifts myself and cool contact. It's absolutely not worth going NC over, however.

Don't cut her off. Sometimes that is appropriate but only for abusive or dangerous situations.
But don't give her any more presents! Why on earth would you? And if she reacts badly to that, just say How do you think DD and I feel when you don't bother to give us presents?

My siblings are the same way, they wouldn't acknowledge my children's birthdays. I'm the youngest, so bought their children gifts and cards, baby sat and took them out. However when mine arrived they failed to reciprocate.

I did ask them to buy mine a card and cheap gifts. They both said no as they never asked for cards and presents from me, it was entirely my choice to do so and I cannot demand it. So I stopped all Christmas, Easter, birthday presents and outings!

Eventually my brother did complain to our mother (who doesnt celebrate any holidays due to religious beliefs) that he was sad as no one sent a birthday card to his children! Also that I'd stopped babysitting! My mother told him that often people do things if they are reciprocated and stop when they're not. So he either steps up or accepts it. He never did send a card! Honestly I think some people are selfish and lazy! You need to stop sending that particular sister a card and presents and don't expect anything back.

My sil was the same.

we didn’t cut her off, just remained civil but didn’t put in any effort. Still bought her kids gifts and took them out etc.

however many years later and we are nc for other reasons- the non gifting was a symptom of her selfishness and narcissm. The kids never really had a relationship with her anyway as she didn’t treat them well generally.

so I’d back off from the relationship but not completely- she’ll show her true colours eventually and the kids will form their own opinion. Her loss.