Sister in law asking we don’t do Christmas meal as dinner

Of course it’s cheeky! OP is hosting the family Christmas and has invited the SIL among others. How is it not rude to ask the host to change the timing of the meal to suit her? If she wants to eat at lunchtime she can decline the invite and eat in her own schedule.
Whoever is hosting gets to choose the menu and the timing

We’re a six/seven pm house. We like a long and luxurious breakfast/brunch. But that’s probably because now that the children are teenagers, we open our presents at midnight in accordance to my cultural traditions.

I prefer the breakfast/brunch over the dinner as it’s basically just a Sunday roast with sprouts.

The first time I was invited to eat Christmas dinner at my SIL, I was shocked that we were meant to be there for 1:30 at the latest. It feels rushed and just makes you sleepy. But did I say that? No I went along because I was a guest and it was a different experience to my own.

It’s bloody Christmas Day so you should do what makes you happy, especially if you’re hosting. Everyone has their traditions.

I mean, that is not what normal people either mean or assume by asking. I genuinely find it baffling that so many people on MN seem to find ways to take offence over nothing.

Agree @LordEmsworth
some of these comments are a bit, bah humbug, if you don’t like it lump it!😬
personally @Cartaz when hosting, l wouldn’t be ridged, try and take on board, everyone’s preferences and hopefully meet in the middle.

It’s cheeky but is to do with kids and bedtimes perhaps? Eating Christmas dinner and dessert can take a while.

If she wants it earlier just because that's what she's used to, then I think it's fair enough to say along the lines of - It might be more traditional for you to have a late lunch, but this is traditional for our household.

But if it's because she has issues with digestion if she eats late or some other reason that isn't so grounded in a preference that's no more valid than your own, then I think that's more of a toss up, though I think it's a bit late to be making changes like that unless it's something serious.

Rooood! I would never consider dictating other people’s eating times if I was invited to their house.

Tradition here is you say 1pm but its almost always 3pm lol

Do you have a very small social circle or something? I'm amazed that anyone would assume that "everyone" eats their Christmas meal within such a narrow window.

Different families have different traditions. It is hardly headline news, nor is it in the least bit "weird" that some people might not do exactly what you do.

This thread is really weird. I have never heardi of people having Christmas dinner in the evening ! I thought everyone had it at 2p.m to 4 pm!

Christmas dinner has to fit in with how you have your day!
we have ours at 6pm ish as we have a farm. I couldn’t eat a massive lunch at 2-3pm and then go outside and work afterwards, which is what our day consists of.

We're also a 3pm house. Sometimes 4pm.

What time were you planning? If 8pm, you could volunteer to bring forward to 5pm? We'd struggle to fit two lots of breakfast/brunch canapes in (we do bacon pancake brunch at about 11am) and then have canape and picky bits for evening - 9pm onwards...

Would something like that work?

Exactly

I always found after picky bits/breakfast just general grazing eating a full roast was too much. And you obviously want all the nice extra bits.

Surely it’s the same amount of food no matter what order you eat it in?
<misses point of thread>

Some people can’t handle change. If someone offered me a day like that I’d snap it up, just to experience something different. Explain to your SIL that this is how you celebrate Christmas Day but you understand she might not want to come and there’ll be no ill feelings if that’s the case. Put the ball back in her court

How rude is that ? She can go somewhere else for her dinner / lunch then .

(It’s always been evening dinner in my family - both my DPs and DGPs on DF side, and in my nuclear family too when we stay home. Whereas DAunt did it at lunch for DGM on DMs side, and DPIL also do late lunch.

Worst if it is, when we visit “down home”, as DPs and DPILs are relatively close to each other, we intend eating at only one (which alternates for fairness) but get fed twice regardless of the plan…hence we like to stay in our house some years…)

Is it SIL married in to your family? Or SIL either married into or DSis of DH’s family?

Either way, I think the answer can be “our house, our rules”.

But if your family, you could explain it more, whereas DH family, say it’s what you enjoy about his family traditions.

Where did the OP say dictate or demand?

It's not unreasonable of her to ask, but it's also not unreasonable of you to say no, you prefer it the way you planned it.

Absolutely this.

yes! I would prefer that someone declined my invitation rather than put me in a position to have to tell them no! It would leave a sour taste in my mouth that someone could be so rude as to ask to rearrange everything to suit themselves.

I spent a few yeara doing evening xmas dinner when i was married. It was actually reslly nice

😂😂😂

Er, no.

We tend to aim for a late lunch rather than an evening meal as DH just can't eat a big meal in the evening for medical reasons and none of us want to be clearing dishes in the evening.

If someone had invited us for a huge Christmas dinner in the evening we wouldn't ask them to change their meal plans, but we would probably have to decline.

Having said that we always have Christmas at home anyway and all of our friends and family know about DH's health issues and would take that into consideration.