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Original poster

Sister in law asking we don’t do Christmas meal as dinner

316 replies

Cartaz · 17/12/2025 12:41

DH’s family have always had a fry up/homemade pastries for breakfast. Proper posh, homemade canapés for lunch with cocktails. Think prawn and lobster vol au vents, mini Brie and cranberry puffs, arancini etc - so properly substantial. And then the Christmas meal as dinner.

They are amazing cooks so it’s indulgent. But the thing I like about this is you are eating when you are hungry. My family did the more typical eat a bit later at around 2pm. But I always found after picky bits/breakfast just general grazing eating a full roast was too much. And you obviously want all the nice extra bits.

This new way I feel like the time pressure is off and everyone gets stuck in more. Just more relaxed (for us).

I’ve adopted what dh’s family do. But SIL who is staying with us this year as we are hosting has asked that we bring to forward as it more traditional.

I just don’t get doing something one way cause everyone else is doing it that way.

To me it’s just more relaxed and who doesn’t love a candlelight dinner. I can’t believe the cheek of SIL

OP posts:
shellyleppard · 17/12/2025 12:55

Your house, your timings your rules.... simples

Clefable · 17/12/2025 12:55

Ours is always about 5/6pm!

If someone was hosting and going to that effort and cooking for me, I wouldn’t dream of suggesting they change the time just for me, very entitled. Most adults are able to plan around when they will be eating and manage their appetite that way, so if she’s hungry earlier she can have something light (or do what the rest of us do and eat a ton of chocolates).

shesaysshestiredoflifeshemustbetiredofsomething · 17/12/2025 12:55

She is perfectly entitled to ask, you are perfectly entitled to say no.

DappledThings · 17/12/2025 12:54

Why is it cheeky to ask? Unless OP is about to change her tune and now say it was actually a demand and she screamed it then just seeing if people were amenable to a change isn't rude at all.

LlynTegid · 17/12/2025 12:53

Your SIL asked, you decline. You make your SIL seem like an ogre, not someone asking for a change you don't wish to do with easily explainable reasons.

Gowlett · 17/12/2025 12:53

I can’t imagine eating a roast dinner at lunchtime.
Ours is always at 5 or 6pm, brunch about midday.

But everyone does it their own way, fair enough.
SIL needs t go along with your plan, sounds nice!

Isekaied · 17/12/2025 12:52

No can do

BadgernTheGarden · 17/12/2025 12:51

Just say it's all planned and you can't change it now. And that there will be plenty to nibble if she gets peckish, try to make it light hearted but written in stone!

Coalday · 17/12/2025 12:50

Very cheeky.
Your house, your schedule.
Perhaps she needs to stay at home.
Some people lack any social awareness.
Hosts dictate the schedule.
The end.

We do similar without the morning fry up.

tripleginandtonic · 17/12/2025 12:49

Fair enough to ask, fair enough to say no.

LordEmsworth · 17/12/2025 12:48

You can't believe her cheek?! Presumably there is more to your story because on the face of it, someone asking politely is not even remotely cheeky

beAsensible1 · 17/12/2025 12:48

😂😂😂 she’s cheeky.

no.

toomuchfaff · 17/12/2025 12:47

"that doesnt work for us"

No explaining, no apology

You're hosting, its your timeline.

ChavsAreReal · 17/12/2025 12:47

OccasionalHope · 17/12/2025 12:45

She can dictate the timings when she hosts.

Id message her this. With a passive aggressive laughing face.

FortyFacedFuckers · 17/12/2025 12:46

OccasionalHope · 17/12/2025 12:45

She can dictate the timings when she hosts.

This

OccasionalHope · 17/12/2025 12:45

She can dictate the timings when she hosts.