DS is 11, currently looking at Secondary School options. He is very intelligent, loves learning and is currently above average in school assessments. He has a diagnosis of ASD and ADHD, and is starting to struggle with the demands of Year 6 (mainly with the work load and less down time). He does not have an EHCP, I’ve enquired repeatedly about whether he warrants one and been told he doesn’t come anywhere close to reaching the 12 hours a week threshold for extra support.
Our local Secondary School is 1,800 students, I feel this is too big for him and he will struggle with the transitions, teachers won’t know his needs, too many kids etc. His teachers also agree and think he needs a much smaller setting which can only be achieved at a private school. We can afford private school - just - but it will mean huge lifestyle changes for the next 5 years, zero savings, holidays etc. My husband thinks we need to give the massive secondary school a chance but I think it’s doomed for failure and will effect his self-esteem negatively.
It’s also worth mentioning that I work with autistic and neurodiverse teenagers and I see so many of them struggling at school, burning out and being home schooled or not having any education as a result. I also hear mostly negative stories about autistic teenagers in mainstream secondary schools, and even ones who’ve gone to private struggle (albeit less).
Has anyone got a positive story or any advice?