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AIBU?

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Original poster

Some school advice please

32 replies

namechangechangechangechange · 17/12/2025 05:47

Hi, my ds who is 9 and autistic is being bullied this year. There’s being several incidents of name calling (including homophobic slurs and offensive language about disability) and aggressive (but not physical) behaviour. We have spoken to school several times and recently had a meeting where we were reassured it was all in hand.
yesterday I get a phone call to collect DS as he’s injured and distressed. I was told by a teacher two boys had repeatedly kicked him, one had pushed him and he hit his head on a wall and they had called him homophobic slurs.
He has a lump on his forehead and 5 bruises on his legs and body and his knee was slightly swollen.
Later I get a call from the head saying teacher didn’t see what happened and head has investigated and what actually happened was DS was ‘annoying’ a girl (I clarified with DS he was telling a girl some facts about dinosaurs and yes it’s plausible she wasn’t happy with the conversation although he thought she was) and 1 boy pushed him away from the girl.
DS has said he was pushed into a wall and kicked several times and his injuries are consistent with that. He said it was two boys who he had named.
im going in for a meeting today, it feels like the head is trying to minimalise it and blame DS for bothering the girl. This also happened in the classroom where there should had be a staff member.
i appreciate my son can be difficult as socially he is significantly behind his peers, he has a full time 1:1 but she was on her lunch break at the time. But I do feel this should be taken seriously. Aibu or should I drop this?

OP posts:
Han86 · 17/12/2025 06:20

Sorry just seen your last post where he nornally goes to the Sen room. He needs an adult to escort him around the school to make sure he gets there safely.

Hercisback1 · 17/12/2025 06:19

9 or Y9?

Either way I'd report it to the police. School are limited in scope and it might force them to act. If not, a chat from the police might fire a warning shot to these kids that physical violence isn't OK.

Han86 · 17/12/2025 06:18

I would be asking that he has a 1:1 full time. Some children need it at lunch time too, while others are ok to be monitored by the general lunchtime staff. Sounds like you need to push for cover to be arranged for when your son's TA is on lunch so situations like this don't happen.

Original poster
namechangechangechangechange · 17/12/2025 06:18

ProfessorRizz · 17/12/2025 05:59

If your son has a 1:1, does he have an EHCP? It sounds like a mainstream environment is overwhelming him. There might be some specialist schools or hubs within mainstream settings which might suit his needs better, although getting a place is usually a long process.

Yes he has a EHCP he has 1:1 all day except lunch . He usually gets lunch and goes to the sen room after which he did but he left five minutes before bell and went to classroom

OP posts:
Original poster
namechangechangechangechange · 17/12/2025 06:15

Octavia64 · 17/12/2025 05:53

Obviously you do need to take this further with school.

your child should be safe at school. Often breaks and lunchtimes can be very difficult for autistic children as it’s much less structured social time.

it may be worth looking at solutions with the school.

be aware that your child’s version of what happened may not include all the facts (this is true whether your child is autistic or not!)

I agree there will be both sides of the story and the truth will be somewhere in between but he does have several injuries so I believe that he was hit or kicked repeatedly. DS doesn’t usually lie (due to his autism) but he does only see things from his perspective (which is subjective )

OP posts:
ProfessorRizz · 17/12/2025 05:59

If your son has a 1:1, does he have an EHCP? It sounds like a mainstream environment is overwhelming him. There might be some specialist schools or hubs within mainstream settings which might suit his needs better, although getting a place is usually a long process.

Octavia64 · 17/12/2025 05:53

Obviously you do need to take this further with school.

your child should be safe at school. Often breaks and lunchtimes can be very difficult for autistic children as it’s much less structured social time.

it may be worth looking at solutions with the school.

be aware that your child’s version of what happened may not include all the facts (this is true whether your child is autistic or not!)