To blow friend out for cheating on husband?

It is not your business
You have n o idea what goes on behind her closed doors
If what she does is not ok with you just move on
Do not begave like the morality police in Afghanistan

Those things are criminal. Cheating is personal.

That's really not the way to do it. The OP doesn't know this man. They've never spoken. So she's going to approach him and ask him how the film he went to with his partner was? A complete stranger?

Well, it isn't any of your business unless it affects you somehow. Same if a man is cheating.

I would stay out of it for the most part but I would try to say something to the husband that wouldn’t outright tell him but may make him think - a small offhand comment here and there. Something like “how was the film last night?” Or “where did you both end up going last night?” - something where if friend questioned me, I could feign innocence and say I assumed she’d gone with her husband and I was just making normal small talk.

I would struggle to remain friends with someone who cheats on their partner, especially if I saw the partner regularly.

How do you know they don't have an open relationship?

How do you know they don't have a "don't ask, don't tell" approach to infidelity?

How do you know she isn't getting revenge for his multiple previous infidelities?

How do you know he's not actually gay and she's his beard?

You don't presumably, so stay out of it.

None of your business.

Stay out of it. It's nobodies business but their own. Maybe she has a high sex drive and he is willing to turn a blind eye to her infidelities?

It's a friend of a friend

How do you not know him if he's your friends partner? It would be really odd to confront a stranger to tell them their partner is cheating.

This.

A friend of a friend . I agree there is zero chance I would get involved. seriously ?? Like unfortunately this type of thing happens you could just open an account on Ashley Maddison or the like and start reporting everyone there who cheats it would just be neverending.

So it's total hearsay, apart from you seeing her kissing someone other than her husband?

If you do want to do this - tell him directly. Don't hide behind an anon letter or email. I think you've got unresolved issues from being cheated on yourself - but that's not a reason to do this - why don't her friends do something? People who are closer. Why is this on you to say something

And as people have said - unless you have evidence - she'll deny it and it will rebound back on you

She's a friend of a friend apparently

I personally don't know why someone would be invested in anonymously telling someone they don't know that their partner is cheating - particularly when they aren't friends with the person concern

What have they got to gain from this - a moment of satisfaction of telling someone what's going on. And they'll need to hide from friends that they were the person who told him

If you don’t want to be a part of the shit show, don’t buy a ticket.

Stay well out.

I wouldn’t tell her husband but I actually don’t think I could remain friends with someone like this. a once off is one thing but to do it continuously shows poor character and dishonesty. If she is doing that to him there is a high chance she would backstab you in some way as well

I’d say that he is aware or at least suspicious.
Do you have concrete evidence? If I was close to them, which you’re not, I’d tell him.
People in relationships with serial cheats usually have an idea.

Why should people fall under suspicion? People are individuals. In my case I am pretty sure my friend was seeing other people before I even knew who she was. I was also single for the best part of our friendship - you can't cheat on someone if there's no one to cheat on.

You can't control what your friends do - it doesn't make you the same as them. And in my case the woman in question didn't see the person she was seeing when I was with her. She saw him at other times. He was recently widowed and didn't want other people to know about them. She used to go to his - and it had zero to do with me beyond me telling her she should get out of her unhappy relationship.

I don't believe for one nano second that birds of a feather flock together. People make their own choices

An anon letter is a shitty thing to do. And an email could be traced as well.
Does the OP want someone taking her anon email to the police to ask if the IP address could be traced?

This could be seen as harassment - even if the OP puts her name to it.

The OP doesn't know the man concerned - they've never spoken - what reaction do you think she's going to get if she tells him he's being cheated on?

That's fine. You're the person calling women slags for being friends with people who sleep around - your views are ridiculous - and you don't need to read this either

I agree with pp that women who are friends with cheats may fall under suspicion too.

And no it’s not being misogynistic. I judge men past a certain age - say over 25ish - if they have friends who cheat. It’s one thing when everyone’s young and at uni and some are just getting to grips with the idea of commitment and monogamy, but past a certain age if a man is still cheating he will likely always do so and it does tend to be that birds of a feather flock together, so I’d be suspicious of any man who had cheating friends. Particularly if they were close. If it were just acquaintances like OP and this cheat I wouldn’t necessarily think anything of them as you can’t always control exactly who is in your wider social circle.

Re. OP, if I chose to tell him I would probably send an anonymous email or letter. Then leave it at that. Whether he believes it or not and chooses to investigate would be up to him. A girl I was friendly with in my youth got HIV at the age of 21 due to a cheating partner. I feel it can really be a deadly thing to do. Cheating is no joke.

Wow🤣.

You have too much time on your hands. You want to investigate more into an acquaintance’s sex life? Bizarre. Do you love the drama?

If you caught someone stealing money/jewellery from a handbag/wallet/house would you tell the owner?

Warn someone if you knew they were being defrauded or being publicly humiliated for something they were innocent of, or even being set up to be physically attacked (a cheated on partner can feel it as a physical blow in addition to being left with STDs)?

Would you collude with others to withhold information which would have a major impact on someone’s life where they’d probably make different choices if they knew, essentially having an element of control over them and their life?

I certainly couldn’t not tell/warn someone I knew in the above circumstances and I see cheating as the same vein. I hope someone would tell/warn me in similar circumstances.

I’d do it anonymously with as much information to verify as possible in your circumstances, and only if you are 100% sure, as you aren’t a close friend OP. Not sure about telling him this side of Christmas though. Up to the husband what he does with that information but you’ve done your moral duty.

Didn't read. Don't care :)

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