Son dumped by gf -update

So he will be back with you @OneGreenPoster ? Maybe it's for the best. If he had been in love he wouldn't have hesitated about making a comittment. This way he will find someone who is right for him and who he will propose to without prompting.

That's an update that will surprise no-one.

Given how rudely he dealt with her asking to discuss their future it was laughable that he (and you) expected her to put up with him in her home for another month or two.

Especially after the "oh I'll go and buy a ring tomorrow" insult.

I bet either she found the thread or he turned up at her work do and proposed

Sorry to hear that OP, even though I do think she probably made the right call. Hopefully your son can move on now with Christmas to distract him.

It has been a painful lesson to learn but maybe he will treat his next girlfriends feelings with more respect. I wish him well.

I am not surprised she has asked him to move out asap. Difficult for your son but a salutary lesson on listening in his next relationship and acknowledging women have equal power and don’t just need to wait for a man to be ready for commitment. I hope he isn’t too heartbroken and I suspect his feelings are more to do with the fact he has to move rather than losing his girlfriend. It might be a good idea for him to live alone for a while to give him time to reflect in what he wants from his next relationship.

In the last thread you said both that "he wants to marry her" and also "he wasn't ready for a lifelong commitment".

Which of these is it?

I suspect that, rather than 'escalated' OP means that the GF has had to reiterate that it's over because he would not take no for an answer. This has been an extremely steep learning curve for him but good on her for not letting a man mess her around.

Here for the update

I think 3 years is plenty long enough to know whether you want to marry someone or not. I don't understand couples who wait years before getting engaged and then wait years again before getting married.

Maybe if a couple were not living together it might be understandable to wait a while but if living together why wait?

@OneGreenPoster was clear that she wouldn't have him back in the last thread so hes obviously not one of the "good ones" like she claims.
I'm going to guess that the ops son did something inappropriate which has resulted in him being told to get out asap

It is horrible having to live with someone you are no longer in a relationship with - whether they dumped you or the other way around. Healthier to have a clean break and it means they can both go into the new year with a fresh start.

What do you mean 'things escalated' and he has to leave? She ended the relationship = he has to move out of her house.

Good for her, she gave him a chance to commit to her and he didn't so she asserted her boundaries. Hopefully this will be a good life lesson for him, but she may now always be the one that got away!

Refreshing to read about a young woman who made her priorities clear, got a lukewarm answer and moved on. She knows her worth for sure.

Maybe the son will move forward with the knowledge that woman are actual people with their own complex internal lives, with needs, desires and plans for the future, which are not dependent on his whims.

It'll be good for him.

I disagree with the posters who have claimed your son didn't love her just because he hasn't proposed - yet. Less than 3 years is fairly short to be honest , most couples I know have got engaged between the 3-5 year mark. However, your son handled a serious conversation poorly, instead of reasurring her he wants marriage and a future (if that is what he wants) , he refers to " silly timeframes" instead and in doing so, he has clearly put doubts in her mind about his level of commitment

Of course he is having to move out sooner !
I would have expected him out on Sunday, surely neither you nor he thought he would continue sharing her house with her
and her bed ?!!!

So when is he moving home with you?

Why does it matter?

I think she’s dodged a bullet. Your remark about her being too old at 27 to find someone else was outrageous. Ditto contemplating contacting her. She’s a great example of living by values - more power to her.

A salutory lesson to your son to shit or get off the pot.

Page 14 | Son dumped by girlfriend because I hadn't proposed | Mumsnet

So when is he moving home with you?

Anyone got a link to the prev thread please :)

Escalated?

Did you try to talk “sense” in to her?

Or, did he prove her extraordinarily right for ended things with him by saying or doing something stupid?

Did you ask him why he didnt take her more seriously or approach it more respectfully when she broached it? There must have been something holding him back - whether thats a niggle about the relationship, fear of commitment, etc. He'd do well to work out what it was to learn from it for future relationships.

She 100% made the right call though and moving out gives them both a clean break.

Makes sense that he moves out ASAP. When I read that he was going to stay in her apartment till after Xmas I was 😮