Son dumped by gf -update

You sound very bitter, it's not this man, it's op's son and just telling a woman that he doesn't want to follow silly timelines isn't a reason for breakup and blocking. Op's son will do better and the ex will wait much longer for a marriage proposal from whoever she's seeing.

He was the one who didnt want to discuss timeline. Sometimes people need to learn the consequences of their actions and in the long term is better for them. Ops son will learn from the experience.

she clearly had doubts beforehand

you cant bully someone to take you back

I disagree. I think she did love him. Why ask for an indication on when they would get married if she didn't. You don't marry someone you're not keen on. IMO, as I noted on the last thread, when he told her a timeline is silly, he basically called her silly for wanting clarity on their relationship. You said she was upset at that response. I believe he broke her heart at that moment and she's had months working through her emotions until she was at a point to call quits on the relationship. She left the relationship months ago, that's why she seems so cool about it now.

I heard an interesting statistic the other day. 11 December is a very popular breakup day. Still two weeks from Christmas and you won't have to spend another Christmas with the person.

Yes, it is painful being dumped even when we have had a hand in the dumping as your son did (by wanting to have his cake and eat it too).

But it's never easy. It's also never easy to see our children in pain, whatever their age. It's all a learning curve, and life is full of these challenges, it's how we rise to meet them once the shock wears off that defines us. I wish him well and am glad he's being sensible.

I’m flabbergasted at the grown women on this thread pushing the “true love conquers all” narrative. WTF?? Are you living in a Disney film? How does anyone with any sort of life experience think that love is all that’s needed to keep two people together?

I think some of you are afflicted with the same internalised misogyny as the OP - thinking that a woman should just put up with any old shit from a man - even at the cost of her own happiness, self -worth and fertility - if she truly luuuurves him. Fucking hell.

OP, I hope your son has learned from this and will do a lot better in his next relationship. And I hope that you see value in yourself outside of your attachment to a man. All the best to you.

Wrong thread???

Dgd has been writing txts to friends basically slagging off her mother saying she has done all these things which she hasn’t , she sees her father every other weekend and of course he can do no wrong. What can her mother do ? No help from ex

And here’s the son…..🙄

II totally agree with the girlfriend. I would do the same. Why waste precious years on a man who isn’t serious? Three years is more than enough time. Ideally, she should have asked earlier.
I asked my husband from the very beginning about his intentions and expectations for our relationship. Was he looking for fun, a long-term girlfriend with no expiration date, or a wife? I was clear about my own expectations: I wasn’t interested in casual dating or an “eternal boyfriend”—I was looking for a husband. He said he was also looking for a wife, so we agreed to continue and see how things developed.
Nine months later, he proposed, and we’ve now been happily married for 11 years. I strongly recommend that any woman who wants to marry not waste time on a man who, after three years of dating and living together, still gives answers like your son’s.

Waiting until the weekend is based on the hope he will see her and be able to talk to her etc..

Your DH is right

Your son is not clear of this by a distance, otherwise he wouldn't want to wait until the weekend.

Keep an eye he doesn't give her enough rope to hang him with a harassment claim - no contact.

Your husband is quite right, he can go get his stuff and move on and it's better doing that sooner than later.

Hopefully your son can move on quickly.

Still can’t shake the feeling that OP is the son

Well then she was right to end it. He needs an indefinite vague amount of time, she needs more concrete answers.

They are incompatible and at that point she did the right thing.

She wanted to get married, or at the least have a timeline and he wasn't interested, and from that you've decided she didn't love him? I wouldn't marry someone who shut me down when wanting to discuss the future, then only decided he'd marry me after I'd left.

Yep. She shouldn’t have pressured him but also she should have asked him herself and also instigated more conversations . . .

Madness.

The mantra used by shitty men to manipulate gullible women into remaining in poor quality situations.

This

Nope. Nonsense. She had obviously just reached the end of her rope.

If he'd said yes to getting married, they'd be getting married.

She tried to discuss and he shut it down stating discussion of timelines was silly and he would propose when he felt ready so what more could she do?

Well, he's single now, and that's that. Give him your support, don't lecture him (yet) as it is not the time for that just now, and encourage him to distract himself with friends, work, whatever while he gets past being dumped.

I’m a big Archers fan, although it was initially unintentional.

I also listen to Today quite often on the drive to work. Unless I need cheering up, then I choose a podcast.

I’m glad she didn’t end up like someone I know, whose BF kept saying ‘It’s just a piece of paper!’ for 9 years - before going off with someone else and marrying them less than 12 months later.