Son dumped by gf -update

He is a brilliant dad, but he is very blunt at times.
Telling your son "you should've got your arse into gear if you wanted her that much" Isn't great when he's newly heartbroken
I think he needs some sympathy.

He is a brilliant dad, but he is very blunt at times.
Telling your son "you should've got your arse into gear if you wanted her that much" Isn't great when he's newly heartbroken
I think he needs some sympathy.

Indeed, true love is not transient, it is very deep and those truly in love can forgive almost anything - its not that common though, for most it is a fairly superficial emotion and can indeed switch off rather easily.

You sound very bitter, it's not this man, it's op's son and just telling a woman that he doesn't want to follow silly timelines isn't a reason for breakup and blocking. Op's son will do better and the ex will wait much longer for a marriage proposal from whoever she's seeing.

He is a brilliant dad, but he is very blunt at times.
Telling your son "you should've got your arse into gear if you wanted her that much" Isn't great when he's newly heartbroken
I think he needs some sympathy.

He is a brilliant dad, but he is very blunt at times.
Telling your son "you should've got your arse into gear if you wanted her that much" Isn't great when he's newly heartbroken
I think he needs some sympathy.

By the way, when you said on the previous thread that she was taking a risk dumping him at 27, maybe I could remind you that he was that age when they met, and he found someone. The one taking the risk was him, being prepared to be flippant about making a commitment.

If he is serious about wanting to win her back, he will have to show her that he has learned and grown. Which means leaving her the fuck alone, standing on his own two feet and working on himself. I doubt it will be as straightforward as him just packing up and moving out, so maybe their paths will cross for long enough for him to show her his self improvement. And maybe he will get the opportunity to apologise for not taking her seriously, wish her well and offer her the sincere hope that in time, she may be willing to have him back. ON HER TERMS. Meaning if she says no, not interested, he walks away. In her shoes, I wouldn't have him back, but he has to do the work himself to even have a speck of a chance.

I’m team son.

He’s completely allowed to feel the way he felt when she asked him if he wanted to marry her.

He felt the gf putting pressure on him and he sounds like he did not want to feel under pressure.

If the genders were reversed no-one would support a man applying pressure to a woman to get married.

The many posters supporting team gf because she knows what she wants are prime hypocrites.

If the gf wanted marriage she could have:
a) started the conversation a second and a third time.
b) proposed an engagement to him
c) proposed marriage to him.

It sounds like the gf stewed on one conversation and without a series of conversations or distress flares she went ahead and ended everything giving him very little notice.

That’s not marriage and partnership material behaviour. That’s not kindness in action.
And that certainly was not love in action.
The now ex-gf had only her needs in mind and clearly didn’t care about his feelings/wants and needs.

The conversation could have been the starting point of a beautiful dialogue of understanding each other’s needs, triggers, desires and vulnerabilities.

But no, the gf had to pull the trigger.

There’s another man somewhere, and she’s interested, I guarantee it.

The 30 year old son is well away from such petulant and childish behaviour.

Shock Horror, perhaps she left him for nobody

I had an ex GF who didnt even manage to move in with me and eventually the whole business went cold.

I was 10 years her junior but she lost any opportunity she might have had to have children

Why didn't she ask him?

You sound very bitter, it's not this man, it's op's son and just telling a woman that he doesn't want to follow silly timelines isn't a reason for breakup and blocking. Op's son will do better and the ex will wait much longer for a marriage proposal from whoever she's seeing.

I think so too

I don't message her!

I think the only reason she was going to let him stay until after Christmas is because she's in Poland with friends for a few days with a friend and then she's going to her parents until new year.
So she wouldn't have seen him much in the spare room.

She's changed her mind because my son kept texting and calling her begging for another chance and she's said it's all a bit much.

I disagree. I think she did love him. Why ask for an indication on when they would get married if she didn't. You don't marry someone you're not keen on. IMO, as I noted on the last thread, when he told her a timeline is silly, he basically called her silly for wanting clarity on their relationship. You said she was upset at that response. I believe he broke her heart at that moment and she's had months working through her emotions until she was at a point to call quits on the relationship. She left the relationship months ago, that's why she seems so cool about it now.

I heard an interesting statistic the other day. 11 December is a very popular breakup day. Still two weeks from Christmas and you won't have to spend another Christmas with the person.

To be fair to Jennifer, she learnt her lesson. She accepted Alice's marriage to Chris even though it meant she was "related to a Horrobin".

I’m team son.

He’s completely allowed to feel the way he felt when she asked him if he wanted to marry her.

He felt the gf putting pressure on him and he sounds like he did not want to feel under pressure.

If the genders were reversed no-one would support a man applying pressure to a woman to get married.

The many posters supporting team gf because she knows what she wants are prime hypocrites.

If the gf wanted marriage she could have:
a) started the conversation a second and a third time.
b) proposed an engagement to him
c) proposed marriage to him.

It sounds like the gf stewed on one conversation and without a series of conversations or distress flares she went ahead and ended everything giving him very little notice.

That’s not marriage and partnership material behaviour. That’s not kindness in action.
And that certainly was not love in action.
The now ex-gf had only her needs in mind and clearly didn’t care about his feelings/wants and needs.

The conversation could have been the starting point of a beautiful dialogue of understanding each other’s needs, triggers, desires and vulnerabilities.

But no, the gf had to pull the trigger.

There’s another man somewhere, and she’s interested, I guarantee it.

The 30 year old son is well away from such petulant and childish behaviour.

The conversation when he called her silly happened a while ago so it's not like she tried to discuss marriage on Saturday and dumped him on Sunday.

There's also nothing to say she doesn't love him - not wanting to stay with someone who belittles her when she tries to discuss the future is a sensible choice even if she is still smitten.