Son dumped by gf -update

I don’t know which country you are posting from, but in the UK cohabitees have very few rights. He may be able to claim some
money back if he has paid anything towards the mortgage but that is it. he can’t claim anything towards bills and will be laughed out of court if he tries to do so.

Absolutely agree!
Even 3 years is too long to wait for a proposal.
If after 2 years there is no serious discussion about marriage then move on I say
A woman's biological clock waits for no man

You can sure spot that particular type of boy mum “my little prince can do no wrong” on this thread!

My mums friend is of this mindset. Three adult sons all divorced. But it’s all the women’s fault according to her.

Tyimg themselves in knots to demonise the woman. Sad to see really.

She essentially proposed and he said no. What was she supposed to do? If a man proposed and the woman declined am sure the toxic boy mums would think it eminently reasonable for him to then walk away.

When I was in my twenties, I was madly in love with a man . He was separated from his wife, but not divorced. He asked me to marry him quite early on in the relationship, we moved in together, but he kept putting off the divorce. I remember vividly the day when I said “when are we going to get married?” And he replied “ when you stop asking me”
Something in my brain switched off at that point, and six months later, I got a job that meant moving away, and we split up.
He got divorced immediately and begged me to come back, but I didn’t feel the same.
To reply to pp talking about love - this man I would still say was the love of my life, but he let me down.

No such thing as ‘common in law’ partner. If they weren’t married, then they weren’t legally tied. As far as we know, it was her flat.

No children
No ring
No contract

She owes him nothing.

They were dating for three years, we don't know when he moved in. He's not entitled to anything as they are not married.

That is how so many living arrangements terminate financially.

You can't be serious?!?

Ah, no answer. Figured.

So all the women who have children with their partners who then leave are entitled to half the house and his pension because it establishes contract? Or does this offering of the rights of marriage when the option has been rejected only apply to rejected men?

No, he doesn't. Your husband is 100% right and you are wrong. Stop coddling your son.

It’s his home too.
He’s lived there for three years.

Did you think he didn’t contribute it’s to rent/mortgage, utilities, insurances etc.?

Had she financed everything or did he contribute to the household… either way it is his home as well and he has rights.

"you should've got your arse into gear if you wanted her that much"

Well done dad! Very sensible advice to the 30 year old son.

So, she should put up and shut up?
As a pp said - they are not on the same page, and he is wasting her time.

GF didn’t do that tho, did she? She was willing to let him stay in the flat until he started harassing her. Man-child only has himself to blame.

I wish I'd done what she did, rather than hang around waiting for some mediocre dickhead.
Good on her! I hope she meets someone that treasures her and has the maturity to deal with life.

Can you not?

Three years established contract - that started when they moved in together.

😂😂😂😂

Thanks for the laugh to go with my morning coffee! 😂😂

Don’t blame her really. I get he’s been contacting her for her to change her mind, but she has found it too much and wants a clean break. A few messages, fair enough, but it sounds like he’s been hassling her.

She was very generous letting him stay whilst she was away.

I’m curious as to whether they had an equal footing in the flat (except mortgage) or whether she was supporting him. Apart from the timeline comment, were any plans being made to buy somewhere together etc, or were they just coasting? I’m guessing she thought that when he turned thirty, things would changed, but nothing did.

That's not what most people are saying here.

The son wasn't ready for marriage. Fine. He just needed to be honest about it and deal with the consequences instead of obfuscating and hoping it would all go away and he could continue having his cake and eating it, then being outraged when his gf said no to that.

He's entitled not to be ready or not want marriage at all, and she needs to either accept that or not continue the relationship. She's chosen not to continue the relationship, which he in turn needs to accept and behave like a grown up. Not panic buy a ring and then harass his ex in her own home with pressure to take him back. She's smart enough by the sound of it to know that his panic proposal is more about not wanting to be alone than wanting to marry her, and that will not end well. Perhaps she's been on here and read the countless sad threads from women dealing with reluctant husbands/fathers who probably never wanted marriage and kids in the first place.

Unfortunately, OP's attitude to all this shows exactly why she has a 30 y o man baby on her hands.

Why do you keep posting this, of course she doesn’t (and shouldn’t) need to do this? Why does the idea of a woman with her own home, telling her ex to move out, bother you so? He needs no reparations.

Going against the grain here and I’ve not RTFL but I’m team DS - I think he’s had a lucky escape!