Not to buy new wrapping paper for SC?

I know it’s hard to consider that the kids talk amongst themselves. ‘That’s my wrapping paper’ ‘that’s mine’. And SC will never say a word about it, but they may feel it for a long time.

Don’t you think it’s amazing how this child is going to receive her gifts on Boxing Day and, instead of enjoying her gifts and time with her family, she’s going to be triggered by the wrapping paper to read her SMs mind and see that her half siblings got different paper the day before and that SM actually hates her based on this?
What skills!

It sounds like the different sets of paper is a convenience for you, not a treat for the children. The kids opening presents together COULD get old paper if there were enough of one kind so that all presents in each set matched, but that's not the case. Unless someone who is actually impacted has complained, I wouldn't worry about it, as long as nobody's talking about the "new paper" or "special paper for each child" in front of the child who gets pot luck.

Mt rhoughts exactly. Amazing how many mind-readers there are on MN. Speaking as a stepchild myself, I remember many the wonderful little touches my own stepmum did to make me feel an equal part of the family.

Seriously? Jeez - get your SC an easily identifiable wrapping paper set.

Oh grow up. It cost about £2 for a roll of paper thats just SD. You’re acting like a stroppy teenager over absolutely nothing.

Of course her children deserve more effort from their mum than what their sibling does. Parenting is absolutely full on in a way that stepparenting is not, so of course OP is going to be putting more time and effort in to her own children because that’s just how it is and rightly so.

Did you read the part of the thread where OP said her own kids deserve more effort than the SC implying that wrapping paper is in fact a special arrangement she makes for her kids?

People are always so confident about things like this! Personally, for the cost of a roll of wrapping paper, I wouldn’t risk it.

Get a grip!
My understanding is that the wrapping paper isn't some sort of emotional indicator of love but just a practical way of distinguishing between her two dc who will both be opening a number of presents at the exact same place and time so op doesn't have to write "dear x" and "dear y" on every single present.

If she bought expensive club-specific football themed paper for the club dc1 supports and paper with black bats all over it for goth dc2, then wrapped step child's with a mix of the two despite her being a pink loving girly girl then you might have a point.

But if it's literally just red with green stripes for dc 1 and green with red for dc2, and a mixture of whatever is left for stepchild, DH, her parents or whoever else - then that's fine.

Good grief. You have a practical system that works and suits everybody except your judgy friend (who it affects not one bit).

I do something similar. Who has the time to write out labels for all the DCs presents when you can just colour-code the wrap? It’s not favouritism, it’s just common sense. The kids don’t care if the paper was bought this year or last year.

If you really feel the need to satisfy Judgy-Friend, maybe buy two extra rolls of paper now and sit on them until next year so that your DC’s paper will be “old” too. (Which is of course ridiculous, as is her opinion.)

The SC will neither know nor care.

I use a different wrapping paper for each person who will be there for present opening for the same reason OP does. Saves tags. If a person was coming at a later date to open their presents separately I wouldn't bother because there's no need to differentiate. I'd make an effort to make that person's gifts look nice, but wouldn't feel the need to buy special 'coded' paper for them. Which in principle is all OP is doing.
Unfortunately this has been taken as symbolic of second rate treatment of the SC by OPs friend, and OP is now being held to account for whether she should treat her SC the same as her own DC. I agree with the OP that the SC has a mother of their own, so no need for OP to be equal 'mother' to SC as she is to her own DC.

FFS don't be so ridiculous 😂. This is truly Mumsnet at its finest levels of insanity.

The OP has two children. She buys 2 wrapping papers to differentiate between their presents. This is such a time saver and avoids needing to write on each present to say who it is for. I do the same, OP.

OP's stepchild isn't there at the same time and therefore differentiated wrapping paper is not necessary.

The DSC is not being treated differently and the OP certainly isn't doing anything that "stinks."

Seriously, stop and look at yourself if you actually think this is an issue.

I enjoyed toy story as a girl lol
honestly, what's all this fuss over wrapping paper? Just use whichever one you have and use tags.

Of course you should get new paper. Why wouldn’t you?

I disagree. You should put your best efforts into all of your children, bio or step. You are a family. That’s not to say you won’t do things for your own kids as their Mum when stepchild isn’t there, or different traditions for their individual birthdays eg. But you shouldn’t half-arse things like Christmas or other joint family occasions just be because they’re your step-child. As you’ve said, you and your husband get the presents and wrap jointly, so it should be the same for each child. If you’re in charge of buying the paper for all, and he wraps for all, then you put your best efforts into each child’s presents and wrapping. You’re being very unreasonable. Why would you not make it the same and nice for each child?

I’d have thought with all the things that go with being a parent and a step-parent, this is something that requires no over thinking whatsoever. Nobody cares what paper is on the gifts. It makes no difference. It makes perfect sense to have things wrapped in the same paper for the same person. We do that in our house. Anyone who’s gifts are not being opened with us on Christmas morning gets the leftover paper.

I can see where others are seeing it as in you're giving your kids 'special' paper but as it was 'special' last year, the SC is still getting nice wrapping paper, not scraggy wrinkled and reused paper. I suppose, to me, it matters what the intent is behind it.
My kids get the best paper (meaning my most favourite, though I like them all or I wouldn't have bought it,) and the least favourite goes on everyone else's presents.

What SC doesn't know, can't hurt them but thinking now, I think I'd feel pretty shit if my step mum thought I didn't deserve thoughtful wrapping paper as much as the shared kids did. I don't know how I feel about it, on one hand, it's just paper. Absolute non-issue. But to consider SCs feelings, if they knew, I think it'd feel a bit shitty. I'd like to think that I'd treat any SC like one of my own, because if I'm with their dad, that means I take on his love of his kids and would want them to still feel included in the 'special' family things. Just give SC a little consideration is what I'd say. I definitely remember the little inconsistencies growing up and it does sting a little that I was seen as less-than than my half sibling.

I think the problem is that you're making a thing of it. There is no need to do that. It makes you sound a bit...mean.

I was close to my niece and she had a best friend. I used to take them both out. One day my niece pointed out to me, quite rightly, that I had bought something for her and not the friend and she didn't want the friend to feel left out. She was quite right to call me on it.

I couldn’t be arsed to even give this brain space. Just buy an extra roll of wrapping paper it’s not dear and never think about it again !

We are talking about £2 roll of wrapping paper here, not a personalised Santa sleigh on top of their maternal house roof with a cherry on top.

No, they don't deserve more effort. They and your stepchild already understand the difference between them from your attitude. They are not stupid. Trust me.

How old is your step daughter OP?

When I was with my ex partner I did all the wrapping and I probably did do seperate wrapping paper for his daughter but that said its only something my children are really aware of and I'm pretty sure her Mum doesn't do this so I don't think she would of noticed. Also I'm pretty sure my 18yr wouldn't have a clue what the wrapping paper situation is at her Dads house and I 100% think her step mum who is very nice to her does all the wrapping. I can't think we would even discuss this or that she would feel like she got less.

I agree. Don't know why she has posted about this except to suggest she doesn't care about her DSC. I just use the same stuff for everyone. Bit hit and miss if the labels come off!