Dreading team build day but don’t think I can not attend

My company wanted to do a spa day. I refused outright to do anything that involved seeing my colleagues in any state of undress, bare feet included, and said I’m sure they would feel the same about me.

I was the only one who spoke up but several were grateful I did.

Absolutely.

I can’t believe people are suggesting you call in sick, or make an excuse. You’re an adult! I would be explaining loud and clear why it’s inappropriate. There may also be colleagues feeling the same as you, so be the voice of reason.

Gosh, I'd rather do the sauna than make up a UTI!

I think saying you can't/don't want to is fine if the rest of the day is valuable and something you want to do. Otherwise, be ill, you wouldn't have to be very ill to not want to get in an ice bath.

Absolutely no fucking way would I do that with work colleagues. Are they mental?!

This is a good point, many women choose to keep pregnancy a secret for a long time until the risk of miscarriage is lower. They would be forced to out themselves.

There's so many problems with this but the big one is what about women on their periods? Half of the team could potentially be dealing with heavy flooding which is not uncommon after having kids or during menopause. Tampons or a period swimming costume just won't work for me when I have my heavy flow days. This puts women in the awkward position of discussing their private medical issues with colleagues.

Honestly in your position I would tell them you're just not comfortable going to a sauna in your spare time, let alone with colleagues. Tell them you find it inappropriate to show that much of your body.

Ask to see the risk assessment - ice baths etc can bring on severe health reactions. I bet they have not done one. Ask to see the impact assessment - probably not one there either. Just tell HR you are not comfortable with having a swim wear / sauna experience with colleagues but will join in with all other activities. They really should have consulted on this first. Or just forget your swim wear and feign a headache when it comes to that part of the day is the easy option. Or if you are wanting the whole day at all then just be off sick for that day.

It’s completely inappropriate. It’s not just the swimwear aspect but sauna’s would rule out pregnant women and people with certain medical conditions. They should not be put in the position of having g to lie/cover if asked by other colleagues why they are not participating. It should be something everyone can participate in.

I cannot use saunas or steam rooms for medical reasons.
Your work should have checked with people first.
It's an appalling idea for a team event.
Email the organiser and tell them it would be a health and safety issue for you.

I was forced on a team event that required running around and the organiser moaned at me as I wasn't making an effort, well duh, I have MS...

I think you can refuse the sauna part. Or wear a robe and sit on the side. Say you can't use the sauna due to medical reasons, delicate skin etc if you feel uncomfortable.
Also, I went on a company trip a few years ago, it was an overnight in a country house with activities and there was a sauna and hot tub.
A bunch of people used the sauna and hot tub but I had just come back from mat leave and didnt want to so didn't join in that part.
The people that used it, half of them got scabies. It was horrible.
I have never heard of anyone getting scabies before but at least 5 people caught it from the hot tub and sauna.
Really grim.
Make your excuses, say it irritates your skin and you can't use saunas and hot tubs.

You do not have to make stupid excuses!
Just say that you won't be doing that part because you don't want to. No other explanation necessary.

Honestly you shouldn't need to make up a UTI! Just say 'I don't enjoy sitting in saunas and don't fancy an ice bath. I'll be over here having a coffee and rejoin you after you're out.' Keep it simple!

Totally just call in sick. A couple of day before to make it more realistic. There are so many bugs around nobody will suspect a thing. Then get comfy on the sofa and eat mince pies with the telly on. Sorted. No drama, no having to explain.

YANBU, however, sometimes it takes a kick to do something and you'll realise it's not so bad, you know?

If you can buy yourself a nice swimdress & take a nice beach cardigan.

You may feel uncomfortable for a bit but when you realise you can do it, your confidence will shine.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Ecupper-Swimdress-Bathing-Beachwear-Swimming/dp/B08SMFZ68G/ref=sr_1_16?crid=207MQIQJGOSNA&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.kulLRbQ2a9anUH5uxfhSEMDDZ_FuVgyT4X1Ao8eYKANjOOfAIJaWZVNApkw4TemARKitMRr9o-gvJnd-mRIK9yyzS3CwMDMq-wVbKAoWm2SZ3rRhjFDYui-g6YfMaDcnloGsateujEpvrNEpnssx78-Ym9s1oemPuSFkxPTs2-gYayyQkpUlnL2lckeoXtAXb2DNZx4fqL8zT3LrIEYtXkROMaHjqr8vGVnocu4C5o3FwuE3M9m2evf6djP3Dg5EYVaCz_UVBM15vxJyTR8Z3gNN4hu-53qO5j-_2HQBHaI.lTJIeyaDOkLGiPVCm8R_GrG4S98-lsApcyn-vp4cc4g&dib_tag=se&keywords=swim%2Bdress&qid=1765876624&sprefix=swim%2Bdress%2Caps%2C106&sr=8-16&th=1&psc=1

These are so flattering

I’d love to know more about your work place…I feel it must have all kinds of wacky stuff going on…seems like rich source material for a reunion of The Office!

(don’t tell us, I don’t want to “out” you!)

Yes ‘sorry I’m not able to go in saunas at the moment’ (avoids an issue if you ever want to tell colleagues you’re going to a spa etc!)

Not taking part in that element of the day definitely isn't going to be held against you. It's optional, saunas aren't mandatory in any setting!

“Not my thing”. End of conversation. I’m willing to bet that if someone opts out they will be joined by others.

Honestly just say no way, not my bag. I say that to many team things and everyone just laughs and shrugs. No drama surely?

I would straight up refuse and not be frightened to say tell the truth - that you don't feel comfortable and won't be taking part. I hate these kind of things at the best of times and think this idea is completely unacceptable. Who in their right mind would ever think this was a good idea.

This is absolutely nuts! I can't believe someone signed off the decision.

I would happily say I hate saunas and ice baths so won't be doing that bit - although I have LBP and a sauna would probably make me keep over so I would avoid for that reason anyway. But you shouldn't have to make up a medical excuse.

Response 1. Err nah. Not doing that. Sorry
Response 2. No I don’t like saunas. Sorry
Response 3. Saunas give me a migraine. Sorry
Response 4. Oh I’m not allowed to have saunas. Medical reasons. Sorry
Response 5. I’ve got flu. See you in three days.

YANBU. What the heck kind of team building activity is that? So inappropriate.

Tell them you have a medical reason for not being able to use a sauna.