Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it harsh to tell your child there's no Santa

84 replies

Makebelievefairy · 15/12/2025 21:24

DD (age 7, year 3) came home from school today and said another child in her class said FC isn't real, and neither are fairies.

DD, at 7, seems so young still, but maybe I'm out of touch?
I think another parent mentioned the parents of this child told her that FC/fairies aren't real basically from birth, so she's never believed.

Just a bit sad it's spoiling some of the magic for others (though I completely appreciate it's up to the individual parent(s) to tell their child whatever they choose).

My DD is quite young in some ways, vivid imagination and lots of imaginative play, loves fairies still and having adventures.

Just left me feeling a bit meh. AIBU to be bothered?
I've basically outright lied to her this evening and today her they're real. Was that the wrong thing to do?
I know it's not a big deal in the grand scheme, but just wondered about similar experiences..

OP posts:
Ponderingwindow · 15/12/2025 21:43

you don’t need to actively lie to your child to create a bit of magic and whimsy in their life.

No one else is responsible for helping you maintain anything you choose to tell your child.

Hufflemuff · 15/12/2025 21:41

Agreed - my DD is 11 and I will never tell her 🤣 I think ill play along forever!

u3ername · 15/12/2025 21:40

“Well, you could ask your DD whether she believes the other child more than you. But personally, I wouldn’t lie to my child. It’s one thing to be a bit vague and give her space to still believe if she wants, but I don’t think it’s great if they work out you actually lied. The other thing is just to not make a big deal about it and say how fun it is to pretend.”

I agree.

Children’s imagination is like no other. They don’t need to be lied that Hulk is real to completely immerse themselves in playing Hulk.

bridgetreilly · 15/12/2025 21:32

Well, you could ask your DD whether she believes the other child more than you. But personally, I wouldn’t lie to my child. It’s one thing to be a bit vague and give her space to still believe if she wants, but I don’t think it’s great if they work out you actually lied. The other thing is just to not make a big deal about it and say how fun it is to pretend.

Snowangles · 15/12/2025 21:29

Op don't go into too much detail be vague change the subject . Defiantly keep it going ...lots of children say that because they can't believe it ,I'm an adult I can hardly believe it etc

DappledThings · 15/12/2025 21:28

I had no idea until I was on MN that parents made such a big deal of believing and were sad about it. DC1 was 6 when he announced he'd figured out FC wasn't real. So that was that.

DC2 is also 7 and year 3. A few months she asked if he was real because she'd been thinking he wasn't so I gently said you're right. She then said she didn't believe me and does think he's real so I said that was fine too.

Either way it didn't make me sad or worry they were missing the "magic" or anything like that.

I wouldn't bat an eyelid at any 7 year old either believing or not believing and I don't think either state is something significant or emotional.

suburberphobe · 15/12/2025 21:28

Tell her the story of St Nicholas, a real man who has turned into Santa

No he isn't. St. Nicholas isn't even around at Christmas.

suburberphobe · 15/12/2025 21:27

Fairies are real, but Santa isn't. Just a creepy old gimmer in my view

It's lovely when kids have their magic growing up.

TheignT · 15/12/2025 21:26

Tell her the story of St Nicholas, a real man who has turned into Santa.