To think it harsh to tell your child there's no Santa

Yes I think 7 is a fairly average age, say anything between ,6 and 8 obviously some outliers.

My second child was about the same age when she was told/worked it out. Because we had younger children and second child would never have been able to keep it from them we did try and persuade her he was real, but it didn't take. Once she knew it just seemed obvious to her. It's a shame but honestly didn't spoil the magic of Christmas for her at all. She's 17 now and still gets excited over her Christmas stocking.

Oh and I had around 20 older cousins so can't even ever remember believing in anything like that but also still loved Christmas and stockings and carols etc etc.

Like many on this thread, I never told my children Father Christmas was real. I wasn't raised to believe he was real and I still adored Christmas growing up - the magical atmosphere, the family gatherings, the tree and decorations, and the presents.

I also didn't like the idea of deliberately lying to my children because I thought in their place I might be upset to know I'd been fooled for years. So we raised them with the knowledge that Santa was a global imagination game that some children believed in (so don't ruin it for them) and others knew was just fun pretend play.

Most of their peers had figured out by age 7 that Santa wasn't real though, regardless of their parents efforts. I'm very sceptical of the claims that, in this day and age, any neurotypical child older than 10 truly believes Santa is real.

I am an utterly literal person in general, atheist, and always assumed I wouldn't pretend Santa was real. However, when it came to it I simply did the tradition of a Christmas stocking and as my children got older and questioned it I replied in an overly dramatic shocked way that if he wasn't real where did the presents come from? The end result was that it was obviously a pretend game but I never "broke" it by stating the truth. I actually surprised myself that it felt important to play it as a real game.

Some parents are just wankers. It’s all about them feeling bad for lying to their children. Tell her that the child is wrong and Santa and fairies are real.

Outside of the mumsnet universe, I think most 7yo have worked it out. In an ideal world thous who know would keep it quiet from the few who still beleve, but they're 7, so don't really get the concept of preserving magic/innocence in the way adults do.

God, you’d think we’re total brutes, as we never did the ‘Santa is literally real’ thing at all. DS has always adored Christmas nonetheless, and still does at 13.

I couldn’t outright lie to DC about this. I’ve always just said ‘some people believe and some people don’t’. One they know though, I would definitely tell them not to go spreading that around school because it is magical for younger kids and it’s shit you’ve have that taken away already.

Christmas is a magically time for me; my grandparents no longer here made Christmas special and I have vivid memories of all the things they’d do for me to make Father Christmas exist.

having children, I could see my parents want to do the same… when my daughter started reception at 4.. a little boy told her Father Christmas wasn’t real. When she told me I said:

’He might be on the bad list, Father Christmas might not visit him and that’s why he think that’

SOOO bad of me I know, but I don’t feel guilty. It’s magic to me and kids are only innocent for a short time before they realise how tragic this world is.

DD is 11 and I’m pretty sure her year have all worked it out but she hasn’t asked directly, so we keep it going for now as I follow her lead. We have not visited Father Christmas for a couple of years at least.

For PP who were discussing Father Time/Christmas vs St Nicholas, it seems you are both right.

https://www.english-heritage.org.uk/christmas/the-history-of-father-christmas/

We've always said "Well people can believe in whatever they want and it's up to you if you believe in the magic of Christmas" I think it keeps the magic alive without any outright untruths. As they get older I think they just like to go along with it for tradition and at some point they may let you know that they know.

Grown-ups, stop being so bloody grown-up about it! Sheesh!!!

When your DC play pretend and say they're a bee / dinosaur / cat / shop keeper / doctor / whatever, do you fret that they don't believe it's real, or do you let them immerse themselves and play?

Father Christmas is a wonderful play-pretend game that everyone gets behind, that's the magic of it!

Adults forget that children can both know something is not true really AND feel like they believe it when they're playing along.

I can remember thinking how silly some other children were for still believing in Santa when I was in reception, about 5! I can't remember ever knowing Santa wasn't real, really. But, come Christmas Eve, I got swept along with the magic and believed for the duration.

I can remember being older than that - 7 maybe - and desperately trying to stay awake all night on Christmas Eve so I could prove to myself that Santa was my parents. Didn't manage it! Still was delighted to get my stocking in the morning!

It doesn't matter if a child knows it's not real, you can still play this magical game together.

Stressing about whether they believe is kinda missing the point IMO, and can spoil the game for you!

Wait, what?!
Spoiler alert please!
I knew about the fairy thing, but Santa not being real is a game-changer!?
😉

Indeed, a good imagination is generally a sign of intelligence.

Isn't imagining something different from truly believing it?

I read somewhere that when slightly younger children than average figure out for themselves that Santa isn’t real it actually shows that they have good critical thinking skills. So that’s a positive to focus on rather than all the ‘devastated’ parents who post on here because their DC have figured it out.

DS figured it out for himself at nearly 8 years old and I was 7 when I asked my DF outright if he existed and he said no. Both DS and I (as a child) still have that magical Christmas spirit.

I’ve never heard of anyone believing in fairies though (excluding the tooth fairy).

Anyone overthinking all of this needs to get a hobby.

Being logical isn’t the only way a person can be ‘bright’. Creative kids are often bright too… And having an active imagination is not a sign your child is a dope.

That aside. Some kids figure it out quicker than others but it isn’t ok to ruin the magic for other children.

When one of our DC asked us if Father Christmas was real, we asked him if he believed he was. When he said yes we told him then he is real. It only mattered if he believed.

We don’t do santa, the tooth fairy etc in our house, we have a very small christmas just a token one so the kids can say they got a handful of presents for christmas. Hanukkah and celebrations of Gurus birthdays, although lots of Sikhs do celebrate christmas.

At seven lots will have already figured out santa isn’t real, it doesn’t make christmas any less fun. They may be like our son and see the positive “santa isn’t real so I don’t need to be good to get presents” an excellent life lesson he’s taught himself…

I don’t think theres anything wrong with you encouraging them to still believe, yes its a lie, but it isn’t a bad lie or something intended to cause harm, or deceive about something serious.

This, I’m nearly 60 and my parents still swear every which way Santa is real, as do I to my DD, and as will she to her kids.

I think my adult kids probably know the truth but they are too smart to admit it.

I don't think there's anything wrong with going along with the story of Father Christnas, I don't consider it lying. Your dd will find it more magical to carry on believing, there's nothing wrong with that, especially when she is only 7.

Yours might, mine is definitely St Nicholas

Santa Clause is based on the saint, Santa - Saint Claus - Short for Nicholas.