To think it harsh to tell your child there's no Santa

Are little kids operating with such clear logic though?
I remember being able to believe things I knew were not true, but it was as though young me could have two or three parallel realities going at once.
Father Christmas was real, and seeing Daddy steal in one year to put presents at the end of the bed didn't make a blind bit of difference.
I knew faeries weren't real, somewhere in my brain, yet I was thoroughly convinced there was one living in my bedroom all the same. (I used to put her in my pocket and take her to Mass, for some reason)

When I was about ten, I went through a very distressing moment when I could feel those other realities ebbing away, like a veil was rent in two and now there'd be only one way of seeing. (Preparing us for menstruation; oh joy.)
One week you could be playing with your old Sindy doll happily, and the next, you’d no way into that dream state any more.

It definitely is magic, that multi-dimensional imagination in childhood. We have very elastic comprehension when young.

It’s not unheard of for children of this age to work it. My youngest did at 5 even though she had an older sibiling who very much believed. I know of other children who havw worked it out too.

I made my parents tell me when I was little because the idea was scary!

I don’t really understand this guilt about “lying” to your child about Santa. The vast vast majority of young children, in this country at least believe in Santa, they believe it because at some point or another the adults in their life has “lied” to them and told them of the magic of Santa. Maybe I’m in the minority but I certainly don’t know any adults who are no contact and traumatised that there parents lied to them about Santa so that they had a magical Christmas, in fact most look back fondly and appreciate the hard work their parents put into making magical Christmas memories for them, so much so in fact that they then repeat it for their own children. They all find out eventually and when they do they get over it, or like myself find it pretty funny! Tell her santas real, feel no guilt about it and revisit it if she asks again in 3ish years. Let her be a child.

It’s honestly hard to do the whole Santa thing with some kids. My dd was afraid of him at first, then she started asking so many questions. She won’t just accept it. She also asks me outright if he’s real and I’m honestly running out of energy with the whole thing. She focuses a lot on the good behaviour = presents, bad behaviour = none aspect.
I’ve done my best to try make it magical and believable. She just won’t really go along with it. She immediately called bs on the tooth fairy. Just said straight off she knew it was dad and there’s no such thing as fairies.
It’s nothing to do with how smart they are or lack of imagination and it’s not for lack of trying on my part. It’s a personality thing. Some kids are just hard to bullshit.
All in all, I think it would be better if people didn’t try to make out that he’s literally, physically real. It’s a bit unreasonable to expect everyone to collective keep up the lie for small kids, some of whom are capable of figuring it out on their own very easily. They are going to find out sooner rather than later anyway, especially now that slightly older kids can just google it.

Most 7 year olds have figured it out. I think you should have told the truth when confronted, it's one thing to create some Christmas magic, it's another thing to completely dismiss them and lie to them.

I do think it takes a special kind of wanker to not worry about their kids going in to school and telling other children that Santa isn’t real, and ruining the effort and traditions of other families - purely because they don’t align with theirs.

we believe in our house. Well, my 8 year old does (and yes, she defo does - if I thought that there was a hint of her not then I’d be on it, as there are some ‘Santa’ related things we do that I cannot wait to drop!) my 11 year old asked me a couple of weeks ago and I told her the truth. She absolutely knows she mustn’t say a word to anyone who might believe though, regardless of their age. I would be mortified if she spoiled someone else’s tradition.

She was fine, not upset in any way about the lie, and said she was glad she had the years of Santa magic that she did. I’m hoping our youngest gets to the same age.

Why is it harsh to tell a kid there is no Santa? Children whose parents are of other faiths will tell their kids that Santa isn’t real! According to my dds from the start of primary school other kids told them Santa wasn’t real. How do you explain that Santa misses out half the kids in their class and delivers presents on different dates to some of the rest?

My kids have never really believed in FC, always just told them it’s made up that some kids believe in. They have always loved Christmas, don’t think it’s ruined it for them at all. Probably better than being lied to for years and then feeling stupid for believing it!

Large age gaps between mine.

When the eldest said she didn’t believe in Santa aged about 10 I said ok stockings only come to those that believe in Santa and she is an adult now and still makes the point of believing or saying she believes so that she gets a stocking…. Never been an issue here. We don’t say anything. We do have a tea bag fairy that leaves tea bags on the side though

Mine's 24😂

I guess we've just kept a festive magical thing going.

I'm not sure what I would have said if asked outright when they were younger though, but I value the joy of the experience and it's become the same over the years for them.
Maybe it depends on your own experience growing up too. My mum was giddy at Christmas when we were kids lol.
X

I must be the only one who was absolutely devastated and in tears when I found out.

My sister told me when I was young, I said I didn’t believe it. We were with my older girl cousin and I think she was trying to show off. She told me to look in my mums bedroom cupboard and then I saw the presents. She laughed her head off and I was crying.

I’ve never told my children Santa was real as I feel like it broke some kind of trust I had and that feeling of being tricked and laughed at. I want my children to always believe my words.

I’ve actually met adults who believe in fairies. There’s a Facebook group and everything.
And I’m sure at some point they were told by somebody that they are not real.

Our 7 year old has figured it out, but our 10 year old genuinely believes still. Children have different levels of logical skills. Its the same as how some people raised in religion begin to realise as they grow up that its not real whereas others become adults who still strongly believe.

It's not at all. Our DS worked it out this year at 7, his older sister still strongly believes at 10 - he is very logical whereas she is very creative and into imagination.

I confirmed it to DS because his personality means he wasnt enjoying the pretence, once he realised it logically wasnt possible it was just frustrating him and he was arguing with his sister about whether he was real.

He was then happy once I confirmed it and said he got to join in with the fun of making christmas magic now, and hes been helping with ideas for the elf and talking to his sister like Santa's real again now.
It was ruining it more him thinking it wasnt real without the confirmation than telling him.

Yep... just like I did with my Mum when I was a kid!

My DC grew up knowing that Santa was just a story, though based on a real person called St Nicholas. I'm a Christian and IME plenty of Christians take this approach. We tend to be twitchy about the 'lying' aspect. They still love Christmas! I did tell them quite early on that many other children do believe and not to rain on their parade. But I also wasn't going to tell them to lie, so I'm sure if a child ever asked them directly they'd have said that Santa wasn't real.

Santa is real. I saw him at the weekend in a bike. No cycle helmet, just his Santa hat. He was wearing sunglasses. Obviously in disguise hoping no one would notice him.

I’ve never told my kids that Santa isn’t real, but never pushed it that he is. They’re a logical little group and the magic goes on with the unspoken acceptance that he is the Christmas present delivery service. No presents under the tree before Christmas, and that’s still the case that they’re in their late 20s.

We’ve never pushed the myth of Santa as I don’t like the idea of lying. We just let them roll with it and came out the other end unscathed with no lying.

My son worked it out 5.. He is very mathematically minded and was just like 'he's just not real mum'. Unfortunately, he Told his 4. Year old sibling recently. But I managed to back track and convince her hexes lying. He's been warned not to say anything to anyone .

It's not ruined his Xmas. He still loves it. I do think it's better they figure it out than being the kid in year 5/6 who still thinks Santa is real

Speak for yourself. I absolutely still believed at 7 and I’m no idiot. I think these things depend on how the parents handle it, combined with what peers might be saying to them. My parents did a really good job - kept it fairly simple and subtle, no spying elves etc. and just enough magic to keep me convinced.

What do you mean he isn’t even around at Christmas? I’m Polish and St Nicholas day is a big deal?

All these parents who think their 7 year old still really believe in Santa crack me up. They aren't daft. They know he's not real but they play along with it because they like the magic and it's fun. I can remember knowing full-well at 6 years old that it was mum and dad, but I kept up the pretence because I liked it and I also thought that maybe I wouldn't keep getting presents if they knew id figured it out.

I still do stockings for my teens. LOVE it! They know if they question the existence of Santa my answer will be - you can choose not to believe in him, that’s fine. He just won’t bring you any presents 🤷🏻‍♀️
They shut up then 🤣

I was quite young, about six, when I asked an older sibling and they confirmed FC didn’t exist. I was quite pleased as I always thought it was weird and didn’t make sense and the stocking still appeared while I was asleep.

My son worked it out aged 7, right in the middle of lockdown. I told him he might no be real but the idea of Santa, giving gifts and spreading kindness to others and not expecting anything in return is the true magic of Christmas and Santa is just the beacon for that. I also told him not to tell others who believed as it's just a bit mean