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Original poster

Utterly furious with DSIL. A rant!

214 replies

JessNic · 15/12/2025 18:11

DSIL is in a ridiculously on off relationship which is toxic and needs to finish for both of their sakes.

Increasingly regularly, after a huge row she will end up at our house and we will have to handhold her until she’s ready to return to face her partner. They usually then make up, have a good few days and the cycle repeats.

On Saturday, she called my DH in tears and said her relationships over and could she stay at ours for the night. No problem - I set up our spare room. Note that it is myself, DH, DD4 and DS6.

Saturday night, she told us she was going out with her friends and we gave her a key to let herself in, and she assured us she wouldn’t be late or loud.

Anyway, we were woken by her making a racket when entering the house at about 1.30am Sunday morning. We then heard her making ‘shush’ noises which was strange. It was then clear she wasn’t alone. DH told me to be quiet and pretend we hadn’t heard her.

No less than 10 minutes later, I heard her making loud, exaggerated moaning noises (it was obvious what was going on). DH pretended he couldn’t hear anything and told me not to say a word.

Not long after the door went again (whoever it was left), and we heard her walk back upstairs.

I was incandescent at this point, how dare she bring a stranger into our home where our DC were sleeping. It could have been anyone.

I confronted her in the morning, in my anger I regrettably used some unwise language and she was really defensive, said it’s someone who works at her gym so not a ‘random’ person. DH tried to diffuse things but it fell on deaf ears, anyway she has refused to apologise and has been acting the guilty party to DH for what I called her.

I stand by that she was massively unreasonable to bring a stranger into our family home. AIBU?

OP posts:
Balab · 16/12/2025 00:27

Penisbeakeralltheclassics · 15/12/2025 21:29

Oh god calm down.

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Nope - I stand by my post. Clearly the chances are that the bloke wouldn’t molest the kids. But what kind of halfwit takes that chance?

Do you think all the safeguarding stuff in schools is wrong as well?

Namechangerage · 16/12/2025 00:27

JessNic · 15/12/2025 21:17

Thank you. Sadly she wasn’t on the level below my DC, she was in the bedroom next to one of them. I am amazed they slept through.

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That is fucking grim. I would have wanted to drag her out by her hair knowing my kids were next door and I’m not even violent. She would never be staying over at my house again. Ever.

AbbaCadaBra · 16/12/2025 00:27

Balab · 16/12/2025 00:24

It’s because she cheated on her partner I think

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Ah, of course. Cheat might be less misogynistic.

Balab · 16/12/2025 00:24

AbbaCadaBra · 16/12/2025 00:20

why is she a slapper? Because she had sex?

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It’s because she cheated on her partner I think

whynotwhatknot · 16/12/2025 00:23

cheated on her partner?

AbbaCadaBra · 16/12/2025 00:20

Brefugee · 15/12/2025 18:47

Sounds accurate. Own it!

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why is she a slapper? Because she had sex?

OtterlyAstounding · 16/12/2025 00:19

If ever the term 'slapper' was appropriate, I'd say it'd be in these circumstances. Moaning obnoxiously loudly and putting on a show while having a drunken quickie with some casual shag in the next bedroom to her nieces/nephews? So desperate that she can't keep it in her pants for a single night? It's grotty, sleazy, and slutty, and the bloke is just as bad.
Nowt wrong with casual sex, but this is just dirty and disrespectful.

I'm shocked your husband didn't go tell her to shut up in the moment. What if your children had woken up in the middle of it? Ugh. I'd never have her darken my doorstep again, and I'd be deeply disappointed in my DH if he wasn't fully supportive of that.

WanderlustMom · 16/12/2025 00:12

YANBU. So incredibly disrespectful

BruisedNeckMeat · 16/12/2025 00:07

If my DH lay cowering under the covers while there was clearly a strange man in our house (for any reason) I would be turned off him for the rest of my life.

ProfessionalPirate · 16/12/2025 00:02

AwfullyGood · 15/12/2025 19:09

I wouldn't apologise to my SIL if she called me a "fucking slapper".

I would apologise to my brother for having sex in his house, with a near stranger, especially when there are small kids in the house and even tell him I understand why SUL was so upset.

No one gets to call me that and I wouldn't speak to you again.

I'm not the SIL, nor would I do what she did but you escalated it to the point of no return imo.

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I don’t like that word and it’s a shame she used it, but there’s no way OP’s behaviour is even in the same ballpark as the SIL’s. Outrageous to try and turn it around to make OP out to be the bad guy. But if the OP does end up going nc, I imagine she’ll be better off for it in the long run.

FarmGirl78 · 15/12/2025 23:33

Doesn't matter who he was to her.....a random or a chap from the gym. He was random to YOU and was in your house without your consent or (initially) knowledge. Imagine if he'd nipped to the loo and one of kids had woken up and seen a strange man on the landing in the middle of the night.

Nope. She doesn't get to stay again.

LiveToTell · 15/12/2025 23:29

AwfullyGood · 15/12/2025 19:09

I wouldn't apologise to my SIL if she called me a "fucking slapper".

I would apologise to my brother for having sex in his house, with a near stranger, especially when there are small kids in the house and even tell him I understand why SUL was so upset.

No one gets to call me that and I wouldn't speak to you again.

I'm not the SIL, nor would I do what she did but you escalated it to the point of no return imo.

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If you don’t want to be called a slapper…well, you know what to do!

ComedyGuns · 15/12/2025 23:20

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I posted before I read your post, so thank you for putting it in less polite but rather more concise language!!

WhereYouLeftIt · 15/12/2025 23:19

JessNic · 15/12/2025 18:44

After she pretty much laughed in my face I called her a fucking slapper. I’m not proud of it.

YANBU. If she doesn't want to be called a fucking slapper, she shouldn't behave like a fucking slapper. <shrugs>

"DH told me to be quiet and pretend we hadn’t heard her."
"DH pretended he couldn’t hear anything and told me not to say a word."
"DH tried to diffuse things but it fell on deaf ears"
Is he always a wet lettuce, or only where his fucking slapper of a sister is concerned?

I hope you've made it perfectly clear to him that she does NOT get to stay at yours ever again?

Applecup · 15/12/2025 23:15

Your husband sounds a wet lettuce. He’s not doing much to protect his family.

Fernsrus · 15/12/2025 23:11

Tell her to sort out her own relationship problems and leave you out of them.

ComedyGuns · 15/12/2025 23:09

I’m sorry, and I don’t use this word lightly, but she is a slut.

You have children FFS.

Do not let this unhinged specimen stay the night in your house again!!

Modernfamily2011 · 15/12/2025 23:07

@ThereAreOnlyShadesOfGrey - YES!! 👏🏻👏🏻

ThereAreOnlyShadesOfGrey · 15/12/2025 22:49

This reply has been deleted

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ComfortFoodCafe · 15/12/2025 22:46

Tell her next time shes not welcome & if she carries on you will tell her poor partner.

Mistyglade · 15/12/2025 22:44

That is some seriously disrespectful shit right there. If I’d done that I’d have been physically thrown out with him before we’d even made it up the stairs.

Coalday · 15/12/2025 22:42

NewNameforThisPost2025 · 15/12/2025 22:29

Have we not moved on from calling women things like "slapper"?

She was in the wrong completely to bring this person home. I agree with that much. And it would be better if she handled her ongoing relationship problems in other ways than repeatedly involving you and your family. I don't blame you for being really annoyed, OP.

Let's leave the casual misogyny out, though. It's every bit as bad as racism or any other prejudice, and it's very sad to see women calling other women such names, too.

While that wouldn't be in my usual vocabulary, calling her names for bringing back a loud shag to the bedroom beside her nieces and nephews is low class behaviour, and the OP 100% gets a pass in my book.
SiL is a disgrace.

I would be apoplectic at my home being used as a shag pad while my children slept feet away.
I've never heard the like of it.

Disrespecting the home of your brothers family is entitlement on another level.

I would be furious at my husband shushing me in my home in these circumstances.

CherrieTomaties · 15/12/2025 22:40

JessNic · 15/12/2025 18:44

After she pretty much laughed in my face I called her a fucking slapper. I’m not proud of it.

Be proud of it!

She sounds like a complete tramp.

DBD1975 · 15/12/2025 22:38

Shinyandnew1 · 15/12/2025 18:27

I confronted her in the morning, in my anger I regrettably used some unwise language and she was really defensive, said it’s someone who works at her gym so not a ‘random’ person. DH tried to diffuse things but it fell on deaf ears, anyway she has refused to apologise and has been acting the guilty party to DH for what I called her.

What she did was completely unreasonable, yes.

What did you call her though?

Trust me whatever the OP called her, I would have called her worse!
However, I wouldn't have waited until the next morning, I would have done it at the time I heard it happening.
I would have thrown them both out and the SIL would never darken my doorstep again.

Bananaandmangosmoothie · 15/12/2025 22:32

Utterly disgraceful behaviour on her part. And your husband sounds like a wet dishcloth.

I haven’t heard the term “slapper” for over twenty years.