To accept I’m not going to talk to my partner again?

Is it important? No. Ok then please wait your turn. Should there be an increase in noise from the DC to be really quite rude rather than just forgetting for a moment, then there's five minutes' thinking time.

What are the consequences to the children for continuing to interrupt you when they've been told not to?

Because it sounds like there aren't any. So probably not all that difficult to understand why they continue to do it. You allow them to.

We used the same tactic as @flightless55. Admittedly, after —too long— quite some time of allowing DD to interrupt.

i explained the rule (put your hand on my arm and I will give you my full attention when I have finished my conversation) and the carried it through. If she interrupted, I ignored her until i was ready. Once I was available to give her my attention, I started with a firm telling off and then we continued with whatever convo she was trying to have.

It took a while and I’m sure she felt neglected. But it taught her good manners in a consistent and fair way. It also taught her that when I said I’d give her my full attention, I meant it.

i’m not saying this would work for every family. I hope you find a tactic that works for you.

If mine had done this I would have picked them up and put them out side the room closed the door and held it shut. It’s not helpful to a conversation but it gets the point across . ‘You’re not that important ALL the time’ is a good lesson to learn.

How about telling your 5yo that it’s rude? Why can t you say that. Ask them if they do it at school. Make them think about their behaviour.

Agree we did: child puts hand on arm of adult (or leg if little), adult puts hand over to confirm they’ve heard request but child has to wait until adult hasn’t finished speaking to ask their question. DS10 still used it

If he can restrain himself at school then he’s capable of doing it at home. I would suggest doing some role play games where you take it in turns to speak, practice waiting and demonstrate how annoying it is to be interrupted by interrupting him.

Then practice ways of waiting but showing you’d like to speak like putting your hand up. And weed out silly attention seeking interruptions with more role play and discussion about needing to wait , listen and be listened to.

It will take time but even the little one should be able to understand gentle hand signal and ‘wit a minute please.’

What consequences have you tried? I suggested putting him somewhere away from you since you say he wants attention and this is the opposite of that so shows him that his behaviour isn't getting him what he wants.

How did you teach other manners? What worked?

I think the thing is you are letting him win. He needs to start losing! This is a bit like when children won't stay in bed when they are little. The initial stages of teaching them to do that feature so many annoying trips to put them back but consistency does tend to work in the end.

You need to put your son somewhere where he can't disturb your conversation and just keep calmly putting him back there until he knows he isn't going to be able to get out of the consequence of interrupting you. If he doesn't want to go, then he needs to be quiet. If he isn't quiet he goes to his room or wherever and if he comes out you return him.

Otherwise, you're right, you're not going to have a conversation with your partner for quite some years.

Sounds like it's something that you are going to have to train them into. I saw something online where you agree a signal, say they touch a specific part of your body when they want to interrupt. You then touch back with an agreed signal too. So, maybe they grab your thumb, and then you place your hand over their fist. This gives an unambiguous, 'I've seen you want to talk and will pay you attention shortly' signal without having to get into a 'stop interrupting battle'.

I am still wondering! Generally a mix of coercion, bribery, persuasion and threats. This one has me flummoxed; there seems no way of stopping it.

Hey OP, I noticed this list of ways you get them to do anything doesn’t include consequences. It should be an escalation, so for me, the order would go: persuasion —> coercion —> bribery —> promise of consequences if behavior doesn’t stop (these are NOT “threats”) —> give the consequence promised. Did you say he just keeps yelling from “the thinking step”? Is the thinking step a gentle parenting version of the naughty step? (Genuinely asking; not judgment or anything). If he KEEPS doing the behavior, then the consequence is that he goes to his room by himself (for a SHORT amount of time, as I do understand he’s only 5). But yes, you have to:

• state the consequence
• follow through on the consequence
• have a secondary consequence if the first doesn’t work; remember - this is meant to stop a behavior, not punish them

So. He won’t stop yelling “MUMMY MUMMY,” while you are talking. You tell him he will have to go sit somewhere else if he can’t be quiet and wait. He continues to yell “MUMMY MUMMY”? You follow through on the consequence and remove him from the table. If you use a step and he keeps yelling “MUMMY MUMMY” from the step, then next stage would be that he goes in his bedroom and you’ll come back in X minutes if he’s quiet.

I was raised by my grandparents who were very old-fashioned, and if I had been yelling “GRAN GRAN” when she was trying to talk… it just would never have happened, not considered acceptable when I was 5 and definitely not acceptable any older.

NOTE: If any of my comment offends you or you feel it questions your parenting, that is 100% not my intention. You sound like a caring mum just trying to g to find a solution. I hope something works for you!!!

Star chart. Get a packet of stickers, and they earn towards a reward for doing as you say regarding this. May be a little young for that to sink it totally yet, but it may help, certainly for the future.

Persistence on your behalf, you have to out persist a persistent child! Just keep reminding and ignore in between and of course praise when they do wait.

The person holding the wooden spoon with the smiley face , it is their turn to speak. Everyone else has their voice in their pocket until it is their turn to talk.
Works wonders

Comparing how they behave at school isn't really helpful IMO. Children are generally much better behaved with about anyone else but their parents, and particularly authority figures like teachers.

We do "repeat repeat repeat" like another poster has said, and hope that it will eventually work. We do see some improvements when he's in a good mood.
And if not we just ignore him and continue to speak (my husband finds it very hard though so tends to give up).

Our nursery teacher also advised to practice with games or role play where they have to wait for their turn to speak and give their ideas (e.g. could be role play about being in a rocket, and they take turn choosing a planet etc).

you need to learn to filter it out.

so Bob, that car....
Mommy!!!
Hang on Jeffrey, I'm talking to Daddy. So, the car...
But Mommymommymommymommy.
Jeffrey, I'm talking to Daddy. I will talk to you when I've finished. Now go into the living room. The car....
MOMMMMMMMMMYY!!!!!!
...is now green because Susan spilt her paint can and....
Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom
...it won't come off, so I'm leaving it....
Moooooooooooommmmyy.....
green. yes Jeffrey, what do you want?
Hello Mommy!

I just remind them that X was talking and they need to wait and return to my conversation. Initially they may have continued trying to talk but I literally ignored them and just kept talking, louder if needed. And then make a point at the earliest convenient moment of turning to them and very deliberately saying "thank you for waiting, name, what is it you wanted to tell me". They got the message pretty quickly and now just wait when I say it because they know I will come to their question/conversation as soon as I can. I do try and keep the duration to a minimum though, unless it's a life or death situation most adult conversations can probably wait until they are in bed, so most of the time this is when I'm talking to one DC and the other wants to say something so a relatively short wait but I have done it for longer adult conversations when absolutely necessary

After you have said DS don’t interrupt mum and dad are having an important conversation. Then you say ‘be quiet’ with the firm scary voice.
After that there would either be a consequence or you just ignore him as if he isn’t talking.