One of my lovely friends is about six months gone and as is traditional we’ve booked in a Christmas catch for our group. We’ve been a bit worried about her - the pregnancy is with a very new relationship and we’ve not actually met him yet, and she’s been referred to the mental health midwife for anxiety.
In every discussion she just seems to be saying she’s going to be utterly miserable and expects life with a baby to be terrible. E.g she’ll have to change her signature hair (that she’s had since school) to something more manageable as she won’t have time to get ready. Or she doesn’t expect to be able to travel again (with or without baby) till they’re in late primary. She won’t see any positives and it’s very difficult to respond to - I don’t want to belittle her feelings but equally I don’t know that it’s helpful to almost pre wallow when actually you don’t know it’ll be that bad?
When discussing plans for next week she announced that she’ll be driving us, and she’d like us all to limit ourselves to two glasses of Prosecco max as she doesn’t want anyone to be drunk and she’s very worried about missing out. She will drop us all home after, whereas we’d usually meander through Christmas markets, another few bars, maybe an activity.
Now, we’re going for an early lunch, so no one’s expecting to be on the tequila from the get go but equally everyone’s a bit pissed off to be told what they can and can’t drink and when they need to go home - but feels a bit mean to say that when she’s obviously struggling. It also feels like a bit of a waste of Christmas weekend!
Now obviously we could say to her get a grip but that’s not very nice. Would it be unreasonable to say actually shall we go for breakfast instead - done by half ten, no booze, everyone gets their day back and can then indulge in other Christmas activities with other groups of friends/partners if they so choose?