Page 2 | To think we’ve normalised overstimulation and under-discipline?

CalmByChoice · 2025-12-15T13:35:21+00:00

Everyone seems constantly “burnt out,” “overwhelmed,” “done,” etc. At the same time, nobody seems willing to remove overstimulation, enforce routines or build discipline. AIBU to think the problem isn’t the world, it’s our limits being too loose?

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 15/12/2025 13:55

CalmByChoice · 15/12/2025 13:52

I wasn’t thinking of situations like yours, where there are very real, non-optional demands (work, children, logistics). What I had in mind by overstimulation was more the optional layer we’ve added on top of already busy lives - constant notifications, scrolling, background noise, pressure to be “on” socially all the time, saying yes to everything, etc. And by discipline I didn’t mean harsh self-control or pushing through exhaustion but things like clearer boundaries around time, rest, screens, and commitments - accepting that we can’t do everything at once without a cost. So not that people should cope better, more we’re often asking ourselves to live in ways that are genuinely unsustainable, then calling the resulting exhaustion burnout. Happy to hear different perspectives though, I know it won’t land the same for everyone.

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I can understand what you are saying but I don’t think it applies to many people. The majority of people ime are burnt out due to demands that are non optional for them rather than because they don’t know how to switch social media off.

Original poster

CalmByChoice · 15/12/2025 13:52

3WildOnes · 15/12/2025 13:46

Agree with PP- I'm exhausted because I'm trying to work 4 days a week whilst also being present for my three children, attending various assemblies and shows and tournaments, keeping the house clean and tidy, exercising and having a bit of a social life. My life was a lot calmer when I was a SAHM.

Can you be more specific about what overstimulation people should remove and what discipline is lacking?

I wasn’t thinking of situations like yours, where there are very real, non-optional demands (work, children, logistics). What I had in mind by overstimulation was more the optional layer we’ve added on top of already busy lives - constant notifications, scrolling, background noise, pressure to be “on” socially all the time, saying yes to everything, etc. And by discipline I didn’t mean harsh self-control or pushing through exhaustion but things like clearer boundaries around time, rest, screens, and commitments - accepting that we can’t do everything at once without a cost. So not that people should cope better, more we’re often asking ourselves to live in ways that are genuinely unsustainable, then calling the resulting exhaustion burnout. Happy to hear different perspectives though, I know it won’t land the same for everyone.

OP posts:

HoneyParsnipSoup · 15/12/2025 13:49

We don’t have the choice not to be overstimulated. I would love nothing more than to have a simple life with DH at work, me at home, and a landline. But that’s not an option sadly, I have to work and I have to sign up to the bazillion apps the school dictate, so am subject to a relentless assault of ‘world book today tomorrow’ ‘your child will need wellies on Wednesday’ ‘pleas pay £1..’ ‘SCHOOL DISCO TIME!’ ‘Remember it’s forest school..’ ‘make sure you do today’s homework on Google Classroom’ ‘tomorrow is Children in Need’ ‘we need volunteer for..’ ‘please remember to bring in..’ ‘Christmas jumper day’ ‘book nativity tickets’ ‘non school uniform’

Kijhlhgdvjk · 15/12/2025 13:48

If I didn't have to work up to 50 hours per week just to keep afloat, be expected to never make a wrong move as a mother, deal with patriarchal bullshit in terms of my looks etc, then I'd probably be chill too.

Wordsmithery · 15/12/2025 13:48

Some of us aren't as good at recognising our limits, I think. And the world IS overstimulating. Go into many pubs and there is music and a TV on at the same time, plus often people with their phones on speaker or playing YouTube videos. There's a ridiculous amount of choice in supermarkets which can make decision-making overwhelming.
And I worry about kids schedules, with wraparound care, endless extra curricular activities, loads of screen time. When do they get the chance to just BE, and learn to entertain themselves in a calm environment?
So I think it's a bit of both, OP. Partly the world, and partly our response to it.
But I'm getting old, and old-fashioned, and lots of younger people will no doubt have a completely different take on things.

3WildOnes · 15/12/2025 13:46

Agree with PP- I'm exhausted because I'm trying to work 4 days a week whilst also being present for my three children, attending various assemblies and shows and tournaments, keeping the house clean and tidy, exercising and having a bit of a social life. My life was a lot calmer when I was a SAHM.

Can you be more specific about what overstimulation people should remove and what discipline is lacking?

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 15/12/2025 13:39

Eh? I think the reason I’m burnt out is because I’m expected to be (and want to be) 100% dedicated to my children but I’m also expected to be 100% dedicated to my job. I can’t afford not to have a job as the cost of the world is too much. I don’t have any time to be me.

My kids are allowed to be kids and we encourage them to have (age-appropriate) hobbies but they very much have boundaries and expectations around their behaviour.