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Original poster

AIBU to have left my parents’ house without saying goodbye

136 replies

LoveCameDownAtChristmas · 15/12/2025 08:32

Until lockdown my parents were proud early risers. They regarded lying in as utter laziness. Anything later than 6:30 was indulgent, and after 8:00 was greeted with a ‘good afternoon’ and a warning that we were missing the best part of the day. They retired just before lockdown and during lockdown they turned into proper night owls and are not up until after 9:00. They don’t seem to realise this though and still say what larks they are and how early they get up.

This weekend my husband and baby were all at my parents house, and I said that we’d need to leave at 8:30 on Sunday because we had tickets to an event and needed to get there on time. They replied ‘oh well you know us, we’re up with the larks’ and similar when I reminded them before bedtime we’d be leaving at 8:30. Predictably when we were leaving they weren’t up and there was no signs that they were awake so we left to go the event. I had a text asking where we are, and when I said we’d left my mum said it would have been nice to say goodbye and hasn’t engaged with the photos I sent of the event, and hasn’t messaged her Wordle score to me either (which sounds small but we both have a 1000 day streak and have sent our results to each other since the pre NYT days) so I’m pretty sure she’s grumpy with me. My dad has also been quiet and not replied to the photos in the group chat either. It’s making me feel bad but i don’t know what else I could do because the event was expensive and a sellout so I couldn’t rearrange or let it go.

OP posts:
StandFirm · 15/12/2025 08:37

Unless there's more to it, they're really unreasonable. I presume they're not so old that they can't read the time anymore? Or use an alarm?

Luxio · 15/12/2025 08:37

CandyCaneKisses · 15/12/2025 08:35

Sod them. I can not be arsed to pander to sulking parents.

Agreed.

You did nothing wrong. No doubt they would also be sulking if you popped your head in and woke them up.

I wouldn't give it a minutes more thought and just wait for them to realise how daft they are being.

Ineffable23 · 15/12/2025 08:37

I would just sneak out but would have probably left a note or sent a text explaining. I wouldn't go and wake people who were asleep, because I know how hard-won sleep is for my parents, so if they're still asleep I would want to leave them still asleep!

WinterWooliesBaa · 15/12/2025 08:36

Why do you need to 'do' anything?

just let them get on with it & they'll 'come around'. If they say anything wise, just say 'if you wanted to say good bye, you should have got out of bed. I told you we needed to leave st 8.30'

Mischance · 15/12/2025 08:36

Let it go - let it wash by you. You did the right thing not waking them and they knew when you were leaving. They will get over it.

Catza · 15/12/2025 08:36

It's not your responsibility to manage the feelings of two adults.
The only couple of options you could conceivably have gone for is 1. Knock on their bedroom door to say goodbye whether they were awake or not and 2. Leave a handwritten note before leaving saying that you didn't want to wake them up, thank you for having us over, loads of love.

But either way, it's a "them" issue.

CandyCaneKisses · 15/12/2025 08:35

Sod them. I can not be arsed to pander to sulking parents.

OhBuggerandArse · 15/12/2025 08:35

why didn't you just poke your nose round their door and say 'bye, thank you for having us'?

Elektra1 · 15/12/2025 08:35

I’d have gone into my parents’ bedroom to say goodbye. But I grew up in an open-door household where that wouldn’t be considered unusual. On the rare occasions these days when I stay over at theirs, I usually go in in the mornings and have a cup of tea and a chat with them (they always have tea in the bedroom in the morning).

Daysgo · 15/12/2025 08:35

I presume you left a note on kitchen table explaining?

LiddySmallbury · 15/12/2025 08:34

I wouldn’t give it another thought, OP. Their grump, their issue. You’d warned them what time you needed to leave it, and it wasn’t at all rude to leave as scheduled.

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