AIBU to have left my parents’ house without saying goodbye

So you'd just leave without knocking their bedroom door, and saying "We're off in 30 mins if you want to say goodbye ..., thanks for having us" or something similar. To simply go like that, to me, appears to be someone leaving in a bit of a huff. Maybe not to you, but then, I wouldn't leave anyone's home like that without some sort of goodbye.

I stayed at my sisters, told her I was leaving by midday the next day to drive home - she got up at five to 12. Bloomin rude.

I wonder if they're not so much sulking as embarrassed?

My parents were never particularly early risers (in fact they were usually still in bed/only just getting up when we left the house for the school bus at 7.45, when we were at secondary school). But they have got much later as they've got older. And I also found that Covid had an impact. They don't seem totally aware of it. I find it really annoying - my mum can easily come down at 10.30 or 11, and I have learned to bring breakfast when I go to theirs because I don't want to wait around for them to be ready to eat.

But when this started, they were really awkward about it. I think they were aware it wasn't quite normal but it was one more sign of them getting older. I can totally see how coming downstairs to find they'd overslept and their DD had left the house might have been, not to joke about it, a bit of a rude awakening.

I'd actually want to check in gently and see if they're feeling ok. Needing more sleep as you get older isn't that unusual; they shouldn't feel bad about it.

I don't think that OP is being childish. She did exactly what she told her parents she would do. She got her family up and ready and they left at 8.30 am in order to reach the booked event on time. What on earth is childish and annoying about that?

Her parents are now both sulking and giving OP the cold shoulder. That is childish and annoying.

If my parents were pathetic enough to estrange me over something so trivial I would be better off without them.

But also that's not the case here, and I was just disagreeing with your statement that "they're both as bad as each other", when they're clearly not. Leaping to estrangement is a bit much.

It's attitudes like you propose which prolong silly family arguments which may lead to years of estrangement. Not good for either side. There's enough crap in the world without messing up family relationships over something so trivial.

What a non event.

I'd have stuck my nose round their door and stage-whispered that we were heading off in 10/15 minutes if they wanted to pop out and wave us off?

I wouldn't have just left.

If you didn't leave a note or send a text to say goodbye, they have some cause to be miffed. If I were you I would apologise for failing to do that.

Childish and annoying us how I'd describe both parties here. Have you considered the old saying "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree"? They may both deal with disagreement in this manner

You told them you were leaving, you’re not in the wrong. But next time maybe a note on the counter or a text saying “didn’t want to wake you, we’re off now”.

If it was that important for them to say goodbye, they could have got up. I'd ignore the sulk but next time if you need to leave early slack them in case they're not up, what do they want you to do, knock their door or just leave

Gentle tap on their door saying you were leaving shortly and thank you. Option then for them to say goodbye or even get up to say goodbye!

Explaining what?

Explaining that they were leaving at 8.30, as they told them night before they would be?

🙄🙄

They deserved this.

Got they sound childish. They knew where you were because you told them the night before. And you'd done them a favour by not waking them. Just ignore them back until they come to their senses or more likely push harder by declaring rude and ungrateful you are. At which point you can remind that you had told them you'd be going early and didn't want to wake them....because that's also rude.

I actually think it was pretty rude of them to have stayed in bed when they knew you were leaving at 8.30am. I wouldn't dream of doing that! I also wouldn't dream of going waking people up because I'm leaving.

No she isn't. She's annoyed because they are sulking. I bet they'd have been just as pissed off if OP had woken them to say goodbye. I think they just expected OP to wait until they got up before leaving, even if it meant missing their event.

They sound childish and annoying.

Sulking is pathetic and childish. Leaving at the time that you clearly said that you would is... not. No way are they "as bad as each other." OP has nothing to apologise for.

You're miffed because they slept on. You could have - but didn't - knocked and told them you'd be leaving in 30 mins - enabling goodbyes. You could have left a note. They are now sulking. You are as bad as each other. Make the first move and apologise. It won't kill you. I'd never have just left without telling them, even if they were in bed.

Let them sulk. In their shoes I would have set an alarm.

I'd turn it back on them. As they're always up with the lark THEY must have deliberately not come downstairs to say goodbye to YOU. So rude!

If course you shouldn't have woken them up, but not sending a text is rude I think... I would probably have left a note.

Why wouldn't you and knock their door, to let them know you would have have to go soon, and you wanted to say goodbye

There's a very useful strategy to adopt in this sort of situation, where you know you are not in the wrong, but the other party is playing "tiny violin".

This strategy is called "Fail To Notice", and it is just that. Fail to notice.

I can also recommend this strategy to Mums of whinging DCs.
You're fine. Hope the concert was ace. Onwards and upwards.
And FTN. Good luck, OP.