Feeling excluded - childs Christmas party

I can see why this has upset you. Sometimes it can feel like there is a secret race for absolutely everything. Perhaps that's just me. It might help to identify exactly what the feeling is you're experiencing because then you can decide whether you really want to do anything about it or just treat you and the kids to something nice at the time of the party. Is it the general cliqueyness/exclusion or is it one or two people in particular who you think should have mentioned it? Is it the snippy way the lady spoke to you? Is it actually not going to the party? If it's the latter you could organise a small other thing with the people you like. If it's the other I don't doubt you're right about it but making a fuss is seldom the practical way to deal with it.

But they literally said, ‘put your name down’.

Even if only 15-20 are there each week, there will a changing set of 15-20. People don’t go every week. Some go once a month. They all go on the Christmas party.

I think the other parents of 3 yr olds have been there for a Christmas before, so know the system, which then makes it hard to imagine someone else doesn’t know.

It’s not easy, on a list, to see who isn’t there. No one has done this on purpose.

If I were organising (veteran of many years running a toddler group), this could have happened. However I’d have made space on the list for you.

It seems like you knew it would be ticketed and were told that quite recently, there was a list to put your name down in the kitchen, so I don't think they have done much wrong, although they should really have done an announcement at the end of one of the sessions - "the sign up list is in the kitchen"

If you knew the date and they told you in class that it would be ticketed and to put your names down did you not put your names down at that point? Really though, this is a toddler class that you go to, you’re putting a lot on this.

I am with your husband on this do you think maybe you need to find friends away from your children, having children doesn't mean drama has to come with it

It sounds as though some of the places have gone to children who aren't part of the group (siblings perhaps?) which is poor form in my opinion - active members of the group should have had first refusal on the tickets.

You are not being unreasonable but I don't think there's very much you can do if you've expressed your disappointment and they're still not budging. If you have made a specific contribution for the party you could try asking for a refund, but that would almost certainly turn people against you, and I assume you want to keep going to this group as your DC enjoy it.

The other thing you could do is ask if you could be put on a waiting list - with the current flu going round and the general flakiness of people, I would be surprised if all 40 attendees actually turned up to the event.

This seems very odd - usually the “Christmas party” for this sort of thing would be the last session before Christmas with a few mince pies and Santa hats. Seems strange to make it a separate ticketed event and not have enough room for the regulars? I’m wondering if you could have got the wrong end of the stick somehow - could this be a separate Christmas party that she is organising and mentioned it at the group by way of advertising, rather than it being specifically for the weekly group? (Otherwise, why would twice as many people be going as normally go to the group?).

The other thing to remember is that not being included doesn’t automatically mean that you were deliberately excluded. I’d try to look at it like that. These people aren’t your friends - but that doesn’t mean they think badly of you. I can completely understand that it might not feel like that at the moment, though!