To be annoyed with DD21

Well it went on till I was 19/20 but hanging about it cars has always been a thing.

Oh sorry, you referred to yourself as one.

She refers to you as a Twat?

The OP's DD isn't late teens though she's 21 and I didn't say in my posts that I would say car parks were more a sixth form teen activity in my day but not for six hours! Now the OP has given more information, beauty spot etc. it makes more sense rather than some car park in a retail park or service station or somewhere like that. Unsure why the OP's DD wouldn't just say I'm at beauty spot Mum. Don't think contextual worry should be pathologised and the OP made to feel uncertain about her feelings. At the end of the day I can't relate to being a 21 year old living at home as I didn't live at home. The worries my Mum did have would have been when I was 16,17,18 as I was at home and that's not untypical.

Who knew hanging around in car parks in your early 20s for 6 hours in December was a thing these days!

I track my teenagers on life 360. It saves me worrying that the 18 year old got home safely after his 4 hour drive home. But I don’t question what he is doing. So with your daughter if she is stationary in a car park then I don’t think you should be asking questions.

this is the sort of text I would have sent if anything.

“ drive home safely when you leave as you must be very tired. If you need to stop off at services get a coffee or something f to keep you awake. “

I don’t think you can question what they are doing if you are tracking them. All you can do is check whether they have/ haven’t finished their road journey. Or with my younger one I can see where to park close by if he has asked me to pick him up from a party.

My boys can see if I’m at work. They find this useful for food reasons. If I’m not working I will definitely be cooking for them. If I’m on a late shift then help themselves to whatever they can find in the fridge/ freezer.

My DD is always in public carparks with friends - it seems to be a thing!!

You can see where she is - she did respond when you text her. I may just drop her a text this morning, if she isn’t home, to remind her not to drive if tired.

This was what my late teens were like, also not everyone had understanding parents who let "boys " stay over or we didn't all go to university and live in shared houses.

Not remotely tough 😂

I have amazing memories of nights like that - parked up somewhere and just chatting and eating kebabs and enjoying ourselves.

I think for your sake you should stop tracking her even if she allows it.

It's not keeping her safe - that's magic thinking - but it is causing your anxiety to spike adversley affecting your health.

Personally I'd have though she'd be better off getting a cheap hotel room for the night - and yes I agree driving tried is very dangerous had a work college who did shift straight off 18-25 hoilday drove home in perfect weather and no other cares died on the road having rolled the car for no reason. Other than a chat about how to managed unexpect situation like this going forward - ie have a plan like a hotel room in mind - I don't think it needs anything more from you - not OTT apologies just a practical talk.

Loads of their mates were tracked. Especially those of my youngest.

I was just told no by mine and that was an end of it.

It depends where you lived I suppose but sounds tough.

So ten years ago, 8 or so and a bit less? Yes, it was available but it wasn't the norm in 2015.

Yep - I did all sorts of weird shit at 21. Normally because the pubs were shut and nobody wanted to walk or drive home.

You seriously sat in a car all night at 21 with your boyfriend surely that's what sixth formers did as they had nowhere to go and not for six hours more like a couple?

Tracking was definitely a thing. One of their mates was tracked and that continued at uni.

to be fair to the anxious or worried parents: those whose daughters didn't make it to early adulthood won't be posting here on this thread.

it is good that OP (and at least one other pp) recognise that their anxiety is for them to manage.

(as for "tracking won't save them" - well, no but at least the police will know where to start looking)

Your children aren't really the age where tracking has become a thing though. Like i stated, my eldest teen asked me a couple of years ago, not the other way around, he was in sixth form att. It depends on your 21 year olds I suppose but if I saw my late teen in a car park all night on a weekend night I would wonder wtf he was doing as none of his friends own cars, we live in a city so no big retail park style car parks nearby, he normally goes to the pub or house party, girlfriends, it would be completely out of character, if I saw he was at a car park at a hospital then I would be worried enough to ask him if all was ok. At 21 I would think that's very strange as you are not exactly at the rebel youth stage, why would a bunch of early 20 year olds be in a car park. Of course, none of this matters if you don't live with your parents but to gas light the OP into thinkjng she has some pathological problem for wondering about this specific context, is completely out of line, especially using her early experiences to make her believe they are related.

Jesus cut the apron strings woman!

I do get it. I used to have to ring my mum when I got where I was going and ring her when I was leaving - but that was when I was 17. At 21 she had no idea.

I agree with you tracking isn't healthy for adults i understand location sharing has it's advantages but looking at it constantly isn't offering any reassurance.

So what!!! She's 21! They will do stuff to fit in. God I used to act completely out of character at times but it's all part of the growing up / transition into adulthood.

Or she might have met a lad and been sat in his car talking all night like we all did in those first flushes of young love!

She's hardly going to say to him she needs to get home to her hot water bottle and heated blanket 🙈

Agree and there could be a million other reasons why she was there!!!

This is why tracking is so unhealthy and dangerous.