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Original poster

Is it just me who feels like this when socialising??

36 replies

Gawwwd · 14/12/2025 23:18

Good time of year to ask this - I’ve had a couple of social occasions this weekend, nothing overwhelming, just friends, but when socialising I have an inner monitor who assesses my performance, like “you’re being awkward now….you’re being boring now” etc etc. And I’m a woman in my 50s who likes jolly japes and laughing and I’m happy enough, and I really wish this voice would just fuck off and leave me be. Might it go by the time I’m 80??

OP posts:
Original poster
Gawwwd · 14/12/2025 23:58

GarlicRound · 14/12/2025 23:34

Heck, no, I don't have this! I have my fair share of inner enemies, but not that one. It must be horrid!

It is horrid in that’s it’s so self perpetuating and limiting. What’s it like to interact with people when you dont have the voice, do you……gulp:::..look forward to socialising?!?!?

OP posts:
Dontpokethebearnow · 14/12/2025 23:44

I lose track of conversations and then end up zoning out because I'm too busy criticising myself during social interactions. I realise I'm talking too much or I've changed the original topic and just suddenly go silent which makes a very awkward silence.
I spend 20 minutes wondering if my facial expressions were rude, am I rude, do they think I'm boring? If I yawn do I look rude and think they are boring? Then I of course think about yawning which causes me to yawn again.
Then I just end up staring into space and standing/sitting alone.
No surprises I don't make friends very easily!

HRTQueen · 14/12/2025 23:38

I thought this was normal until a friend mentioned how a mutual friend of ours does this she was shocked we both do

it’s absolutely draining especially the inner conversations the next day

thankfully I am not much of a drinker as this makes it much worse

I like socialising in small groups not too often as it’s exhausting

GarlicBreadStan · 14/12/2025 23:36

Gawwwd · 14/12/2025 23:24

you still have time, set that voice free!! Don’t be hung up, hung up like my inner critic and me 🎵

Show quote history

It probably doesn't help that I'm autistic and have pretty strong Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, but it's something I'm trying to work on so I can model and show good thoughts to my son. To take those negative thoughts and try to play my strengths against them

GarlicRound · 14/12/2025 23:34

Heck, no, I don't have this! I have my fair share of inner enemies, but not that one. It must be horrid!

BeFairOliveBear · 14/12/2025 23:33

Yes, I am like this. Also "am I making enough eye contact", "this person thinks I am so boring", "what can I say next", "did I offend that person" "am I coming across ok" and it goes on and on....then I find it very hard to unwind afterwards and process everything. No wonder I don't socialise much!

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 14/12/2025 23:26

I think a lot of us were brought up feeling we have to entertain / perform. That's not all bad obviously but it would be nice for the old critic to cut us some slack

Original poster
Gawwwd · 14/12/2025 23:24

GarlicBreadStan · 14/12/2025 23:19

I've always been like this. I'm only 27 but can see this lasting a lifetime. My inner voice is a HUGE critic and because of it, I very rarely socialise

you still have time, set that voice free!! Don’t be hung up, hung up like my inner critic and me 🎵

OP posts:
Original poster
Gawwwd · 14/12/2025 23:22

FrothyCothy · 14/12/2025 23:19

Pretty much every social interaction, multiplied by 10 with alcohol and then about a million the next day when I relive it all in my head. So I don’t go out much!

That’s such a bummer that alcohol makes the voice louder!! What’s the bloody point of booze if it makes you more inhibited?!

OP posts:
GarlicBreadStan · 14/12/2025 23:19

I've always been like this. I'm only 27 but can see this lasting a lifetime. My inner voice is a HUGE critic and because of it, I very rarely socialise

FrothyCothy · 14/12/2025 23:19

Pretty much every social interaction, multiplied by 10 with alcohol and then about a million the next day when I relive it all in my head. So I don’t go out much!