To not want to contribute to this madness? Christmas teacher gifting experiences

A policy isn’t a law though so it isn’t right.

I do my own thing and say “We’ve already sorted their present off DC but thank you.” Generic book shop voucher for teacher who likes reading so she can choose her own book and a box of chocolate each for the two TAs. Nice handwritten card to each one of course. We only give what we can afford.

You are right. The Local Authority I worked for as a teacher has a very clear policy about this. Gifts had to be declared and we were asked to let parents know about the policy. The school where my children attend send a message out in parent newsletters informing of the policy and suggesting a home made card instead of a gift. There could be issues with the teacher accepting such a generous gift (that's assuming they would all want to go on a spa day together!!) I had some beautiful baubles as a teacher. Not with kids photos on the (safeguarding issues?!) but they remind me of the kids that bought them 20 years later!!

All the daft activities are an Ofsted box ticking exercise to show parental involvement. It's just as much of a pain for teachers believe me.

One parent has got the teacher and her child’s TA a personalised bauble. With her DC’s face in it?!?!

WTF?! That's creepy as fuck 😂

Exactly. I honestly think it was easier for a woman to have a fairly high-powered career (as mine did) and school age DC when I was at school 40 years ago. They sent a letter once a year with the calendar - parents' evenings and sports days etc - and the parents went, or didn't. Apart from the report at the end of the year, there was no other communication at all, unless something went wrong. These days, keeping up with school admin and all the daft activities and things seems to be a part-time job.

We tended to do a give what you want collection, leave it to be anonymous and split it between a gift for the teacher/TA and a transfer into the school accounts to buy whatever is most useful for the class over the year. People gave anything from £1-2 up to £50. I’ve organised it several times and always made sure all the kids signed the cards regardless of who did/didn’t contribute as I assume the teacher doesn’t care who gave the money but might like a little Happy Christmas from all the kids. I disliked the ones where you had to pay a fixed amount and they only put names on the card if the parent contributed so would always politely opt out.

I like my colleagues fine, but the thought of a spa day with them makes me cringe.

OP, you really should throw a spanner in the works by asking (a) whether anyone has checked whether the staff like spa days and (b) have they checked whether teachers are allowed to take home photos of the children?

LOL to the personalised bauble!!! Please tell me she is also like Amanda from Amandaland!!!

Who says they even want a spa day??! I agree £15 is a bit steep but really it depends what spare cash you have. Also quite presumptuous that they have time to fit in a spa day - do they have kids themselves??

One of the kids classes there was a parent who took over, would however only ask for £5 ish but turned up with a huge basket of gifts plus an Amazon voucher. Utter wonder woman when you looked at what she managed to get with our cash.

Otherwise where there wasn’t a collection going on, I used to gift a bottle of wine with one of the personalised ‘I’m sure I’m the reason you need a drink’ labels from Etsy on them from my kids. Ticks most boxes with teachers. For the non drinking teachers box of chocs and a homemade card done by said child.

It was. I received gifts (flowers, chocolates etc not spa days) in the mid 80s. This was in a deprived area of South London by the way.

Yes, I totally agree with you! But there are vile people like this that walk amongst us.

That's something I would tend to do at the end of the year rather than at Christmas, especially since it's not even halfway through the year.

People being strong-armed into contributing to group gifts and then shamed if they don't is horrifying. Most years we don't get anything for the teachers, when I do remember it's a £10 voucher - especially this year as her class actually has two teachers. I've never bought the 'teacher' stuff and I read a long time ago that they get so many chocolates they give most of it away.

Unfortunately now I've read on this thread that a gift card seems to be a bit passe, so I guess you can't win no matter what you do.

I think it’s interesting that some teachers have said that they used to get “lovely” handwritten cards and gifts but this pretty much stopped when their parents started buying presents instead.

seems likely that the children in question never had much desire to reward their teachers for Xmas and it was always parent driven anyway.

Sorry I should have clarified, we are in a small village school, we know the teachers well in the first school (its a middle school system here) so we explained we were all putting £10 and what type of experience they wanted. This was Y1 and Y2. For nursery teacher we organised a plant pot with each of the children putting their finger print on, it remains in nursery to this day.
We are lucky to have a very close knit, family type school as its only a 1 year intake.

Teacher here. Personalised bauble would get in the bin! Cheapo box of chocs that I can stick in the staffroom, at the very max, given I don't eat chocolate. There's a decent proportion of Free school meals kids here, I absolutely don't expect or want anything.

It was the same when my DD was in primary school. In the end the teacher ended up with over £450!

I opted out in the end as it was getting to the point where you didn’t get a chance to sign the card but they’d still happily take the cash.

A personalise bauble with a random kids face on? 😂 That will be in the bin a minute later! That’s just weird.
YANBU.

A hand written Christmas card with a thoughtful, message about what I had meant for that child would mean more than any gift (a spa day is ridiculous).

Ridiculous.

Okay, so my DC are in their 20s now, but teacher gifting was never a thing.

That’s not a law. It just has to be declared if above that value.

as long as you are not actually trying to blackmail someone, worry not 😂 they can always refuse or donate it via their company if they feel it puts them at risk

Interestingly this is under £50 for most, definitely is for nurses as I have given a £49 gift card after researching this!

Yep and definitley will depend on the area.

Where I am this was normal throughout primary at Christmas and at the end of the year.

I organised it for many years at times for both mine but was always optional and always discretionary amount but it would vary between £5 to £20. We often would get upwards of £200 which would normally be a voucher plus a few small bits and gifts for the TA. It was just how it was so most went along with it - I never pressured or judged it just was the thing that happened

I do live in Surrey/South London borders though

Assuming it’s a spa day they all use together, where they all have to find a day they are all free and can do and where everyone has to sacrifice a day off to spend with people they work with, it IS NOT A PRESENT, it’s a headache!

It’s not a nice gift at all!

I guarantee they will all hate it and it’s very likely it won’t get used unless they use it on a working day and close the nursery.

If it’s a day they can use individually then it’s still a headache because experience vouchers often are and again at least half won’t get used.

The staff will think, “what’s wrong with a box of chocolates?”

Not everyone likes Spas. The teacher is hardly likely to say 'Oh no, I don't want this' when you hand it over, they would have to be polite and appear grateful.