Page 5 | To wonder which celebrities you’d gladly give a metaphorical slap, if there were no consequences?

MetaphoricallySpeaking · 2025-12-14T19:36:52+00:00

Not endorsing violence obviously but if it were just a harmless slap on a fantasy level - no consequences, no scandal, just vibes, who would be on your list? Mine would be: - Trump - not technically a celeb but come on. - Diddy - no notes needed. - Jay Z - eternally smug and cheated on Beyoncé? Slap. - Kanye - not even sure where to start. - Chris Brown - this one’s personal, we all know why. - Kendall Jenner - something about her is just rude. AIBU to think some people’s energy is just slap-worthy?

TheAutumnCrow · 15/12/2025 08:01

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Oh god yes Fiona Bruce doing her Smug, Smugger, Smuggest act on Antiques Roadshow.

youegg · 15/12/2025 08:01

Martine Mccutcheon.
That poisoned ginger goblin that sings about smelly sheets.

Midsmale55 · 15/12/2025 07:55

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cramptramp · 15/12/2025 07:50

Emma Watson
Lily Allen
Gary Neville
Hugh Bonneville (ughhh)
Gary Lineker

and many more ….

Ddakji · 15/12/2025 07:45

Brendahollowayjustlookwhatyouhavedone · 15/12/2025 07:43

Or perhaps just people that we would like to slap regardless of celebrity status.👍😁

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Maybe we should have a separate thread for politicians you’d like to slap.

Though I guess it would be quite boring.

”All of them” for 40 pages 🤣.

Politicians you wouldn’t want to slap could be more interesting.

Friendlyfart · 15/12/2025 07:45

Apart from the obvious Trump, Farage, Putin (goes without saying). If Farage becomes PM I might have to emigrate as the urge to slap that heinous toad face would be too much to bear.

Amanda Holden

Alex Jones

Charlotte Church

Anyone on Loose Women. I had the misfortune of watching it for 10 mins the other day - what a load of tripe it was. Even Christine Lampard looked embarrassed to be on there.

Def Louis Theroux now. He is dead to me after pretty much endorsing the scum that is Bob Vylan.

Brendahollowayjustlookwhatyouhavedone · 15/12/2025 07:43

Ddakji · 15/12/2025 07:39

One thing that’s interesting about this thread are the number of people who class politicians as celebrities. Other than someone like Trump who was a celebrity before being a politician, I wouldn’t class them as such, but perhaps that’s a sign of the very low calibre of politicians we have!

Or perhaps just people that we would like to slap regardless of celebrity status.👍😁

Heylittlesongbird · 15/12/2025 07:42

I have nodded along with so many of these that my list is now vert long. All I can say at this point is that I wouldnt slap Judi Dench.

Ddakji · 15/12/2025 07:39

One thing that’s interesting about this thread are the number of people who class politicians as celebrities. Other than someone like Trump who was a celebrity before being a politician, I wouldn’t class them as such, but perhaps that’s a sign of the very low calibre of politicians we have!

Brendahollowayjustlookwhatyouhavedone · 15/12/2025 07:34

Farage
Tommy Robinson
Trump
Sandi toksvig
Denise welch
Lorraine Kelly.

BlueEyedBogWitch · 15/12/2025 07:32

squashyhat · 15/12/2025 05:02

Chad Michael Murray. I'm a sucker for a cheesy Christmas film but he seems to turn up in all of them with his annoying floppy hair and broken nose. Plus he's got a stupid name.

Look at him - the twat

Bloody hell, it’s Noel Edmonds!

Ilovemyshed · 15/12/2025 07:29

Many of the above.

Naga Munchetty

Ddakji · 15/12/2025 07:15

TheAutumnCrow · 15/12/2025 07:11

Enough with the derailing, please.

Yes, you’re right, sorry about that everyone.

GarlicBreadStan · 15/12/2025 07:12

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TheAutumnCrow · 15/12/2025 07:11

Enough with the derailing, please.

GarlicBreadStan · 15/12/2025 07:10

Ddakji · 15/12/2025 07:02

Name a celebrity and give an example of that hate, then. Here’s a hint - JKR doesn’t hate trans people.

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She literally does though

TheaBrandt1 · 15/12/2025 07:04

Who though? Which celebrity has been hateful to trans people?

Ddakji · 15/12/2025 07:02

GarlicBreadStan · 15/12/2025 06:57

Trans people DO get hate. Where have you been hiding all these years? I'm somewhere under the trans umbrella (but not FTM or MTF trans) and I understand that everyone has their views. However, as soon as someone starts being hateful and honestly dangerous to the LGBTQ community, then yeah, I'll call them out on it because why does it matter so much that people identify differently to the majority of the population? If people are that bothered about what's in other people's pants, then that says more about them

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Name a celebrity and give an example of that hate, then. Here’s a hint - JKR doesn’t hate trans people.

GarlicBreadStan · 15/12/2025 06:57

Ddakji · 15/12/2025 06:52

They don’t get any hate. Trans activists however hate everyone who doesn’t bow down to their ideology, believe their lies, and they especially hate women who won’t shut up and shove over. See David Tennant, Billy Bragg, Boy George et al.

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Trans people DO get hate. Where have you been hiding all these years? I'm somewhere under the trans umbrella (but not FTM or MTF trans) and I understand that everyone has their views. However, as soon as someone starts being hateful and honestly dangerous to the LGBTQ community, then yeah, I'll call them out on it because why does it matter so much that people identify differently to the majority of the population? If people are that bothered about what's in other people's pants, then that says more about them

ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews · 15/12/2025 06:53

Ddakji · 15/12/2025 06:51

He’s got a non-binary child and now thinks that women like JKR should just shut the fuck up (I believe that’s exactly what he said about her).

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🎯

ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews · 15/12/2025 06:53

Ddakji · 15/12/2025 06:51

He’s got a non-binary child and now thinks that women like JKR should just shut the fuck up (I believe that’s exactly what he said about her).

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🎯

Ddakji · 15/12/2025 06:52

GarlicBreadStan · 15/12/2025 06:39

Okay, "actively" may have been the wrong word. But I wasn't just talking about gay people. I was talking about trans people as well. Anyone in the LGBTQ community, really, but trans people get the most hate and I don't understand why

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They don’t get any hate. Trans activists however hate everyone who doesn’t bow down to their ideology, believe their lies, and they especially hate women who won’t shut up and shove over. See David Tennant, Billy Bragg, Boy George et al.

ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews · 15/12/2025 06:52

Dappy777 · 14/12/2025 22:22

Louis Theroux: smug, patronising Oxbridge leftie.

Emma Thompson: insufferably smug as well, and a dreadful actress.

Stewart Lee: oozes smugness out of every smug, sneering, Oxbridge leftie cell in his body.

Jimmy Carr: horrible, cold, reptilian little creature. Like a creepy puppet that has come to life. He is a clever man, educated at Cambridge, yet he pitches his comedy at the level of a Sun-reader so as to appeal to as many people as he can and maximize his profits.

Frankie Boyle: never known anybody so filled with hatred. His comedy is vicious and cruel. He genuinely seems to enjoy mocking the dead. Some of his comments are sickening.

David Baddiel: utterly loathsome. He reminds of a boy I went to school with - a horrible, sarcastic little weasel who hung around with the bullies and laughed at their jokes and then hid behind them so he could bully others. That’s Baddiel in a nutshell.

David Baddiel is a friend of a friend, so i know him a little bit.
He’s always lovely when i see him.

TheaBrandt1 · 15/12/2025 06:52

Still can’t think of any celebrities that openly “hate” gay or trans people? “Hate” surely does not include objecting to women not having any single sex spaces?

Ddakji · 15/12/2025 06:51

BabyHairs · 15/12/2025 02:43

I love David Tennant! Why is he a twat? 😳

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He’s got a non-binary child and now thinks that women like JKR should just shut the fuck up (I believe that’s exactly what he said about her).