To feel a bit sad that I’m the only person in my household who would enjoy a fancier Christmas meal?

My sister lost her sense of smell and taste in 2020 with Covid and never got it back. She loves to cook and bake but says she can tell if something is sweet and that’s it. She used to have a really keen sense of smell too. Food is just texture now - horrible!
To not enjoy (or be able to enjoy) one of life’s great pleasures? Tragic! Food is so much more than fuel.

You’ll need to eat something later on if you’re having Christmas dinner at 1pm, so have your starter and pud then (with or without your DH and MIL).

Only if you let it be that way

DH and I always eat separately though so I have no issues with enjoying a starter or dessert without him.

Kindly, not everyone thinks a roast dinner is the pinnacle of culinary delight, and it’s OP’s Christmas too!

I dunno. Kind of YABU. Dh and I both like 'nice' food. He's an outstanding cook and made a 10 course tasting menu for Christmas Eve dinner last year. But Christmas dinner is Christmas dinner. It's traditional and it's big and filling. I wouldn't be fussed about a salad starter either tbh. Maybe do something fancier for NYE?
It does sound like it's about more than the food though. We spend a long time at the table for Christmas lunch and really enjoy it.

Kindly, you are being a bit silly. I don’t like having starters before Christmas dinner because there’s only so much food that can be consumed in one meal, and the starter that is as nice as a roast doesn’t exist.

Ask yourself how much better you would really feel about the situation if they both fancied your fennel thing. I expect it wouldn’t make much difference.

If you have canapes then you can eat them in with others while having a drink.

There is a lot of compromise with the elderly! My grandad used to be picked up, ate lunch at 1pm with us, and wanted to go straight home! No drinking for the driver. He didnt eat huge portions but he never determined the menu - he just ate the amount he wanted.

But he wasnt here forever so it was something we all understood.

Dont get upset with other not eating though. Thats their choice.

"but his mum wants it at 1 o’clock and it’ll be done and dusted by 1:30. God knows what we’ll do for the rest of the afternoon!"

What? No. You're cooking, you're in charge of the menu. Why are some people so determined to treat Christmas Day like any other day? If you're stuck with those timings this year, could your salad be part of a light tea that evening?

I agree with a pp that you need to find a friend/group of friends to have a fancier Christmas dining experience before December 25th.

Not really, too awkward to be enjoyable

It sounds like you have bigger issues than just the food.

You don't sound very happy

Of course you can.

You’re doing the cooking so you choose the menu, I say! Make the starter, make the pudding. They don’t have to eat it. But I think you should love and enjoy it.

How old are you? Are you likely to have children? Or perhaps do you have any nice close friendships? It sounds like you’re a little lonely, just you, OH and his mum.

I’d make it and pudding too. So what if they don’t want to eat it? You can save leftovers for Boxing Day. They are essentially your guests if you are doing all the cooking. I don’t let my guests dictate what I cook them, taking into account allergies, etc. Make what you want!

Will they have coffee or something,

This sounds like it is about more than food...

They sound joyless, have a starter have a pudding if that is what you want.

Make it for yourself. And take time to teach your husband about food. Introduce him to new foods, he might surprise you.

Food matters to me and so does a sense of occasion/it's Christmas so let's indulge, so I get that you're disappointed. Having said that, I wouldn't want a starter before Christmas dinner. Christmas Dinner with all the trimmings is a big meal and I would want room for all of it! If I were you, I probably wouldn't sit there alone with my starter if they weren't eating. But I would definitely have a little individual Christmas pudding for me afterwards, with double cream, maybe brandy cream....and I would make the roast fabulous, with large amounts so you can have cold turkey and other leftover bits and bobs on subsequent days. It's a shame your man isn't a bon viveur but if he's a good man, a lot of women would give a great deal for that, so count your blessings!

If you are going to enjoy preparing the food, then I think you should give yourself the pleasure of doing so. I love to cook too, and doing something new is my personal indulgence, so IMO you should cook what you fancy.

A roast isn't compulsory. Might be a bit late for this year but next year why dont you plan something completely different.

I agree with the posters who said go ahead and make it for yourself. It sounds like a refreshing and healthy starter that you will enjoy. No need for all this drama about why nobody else will eat it though. That's their loss surely?

You are cooking, yes? Make what you like. They don’t have to eat it, though they probably will, and just eat a bit less dinner.

So make what you’d like to eat. If they want something else they can make it.