To feel a bit sad that I’m the only person in my household who would enjoy a fancier Christmas meal?

I would do it and make them a super tiny starter each to try.

If they're not foodies it might not sound very appealing to them. Id bite your hand off to try it!

My ex was the chef. I can't cook and I miss it! Yanbu!

And I’m struggling to see how you have to be up at the crack of dawn to cook a meal for three?
OP please do what suits you, if you are cooking. I think they’ll be easily swept up in your plans and enthusiasm for a slightly different day.

Just go ahead and do the three courses. Maybe they've never made a fuss so don't know how enjoyable it can be. They may enjoy it, if they don't at least you get some good food instead of feeling deprived of a special Christmas meal.

Echoing @TheCosyViewer i would move the time forward to later in the day. 2 or even 3. I did this after DM died. I had always been hosting and my DF helps with alot of the cooking but I felt rushed…getting up early and hustling. I moved it back to 5 pm and everyone adjusted. We probably eat around 4 now with drinks and cheese/ visiting before the meal. As the cook I always control the timing. I host anywhere from 7 to 13 people every holiday.

if you love to cook OP you should have no difficulty in inviting and hosting meals at your home. Invite the friends who love a good meal and sit and eat and talk and laugh. If you want them to come…cook! Make it a monthly get together.
make it a bit special for you…food or drink or flowers or fancy outfit. Celebrate the holiday. I never watch telly and sitting around doing so is absolutely not a holiday celebration to me

Glad I'm not coming to yours for Christmas dinner OP!

Ours lasts 3 hours plus! We start with opening Christmas favours which contain small personalised gift and scratchcard and everyone picks a number which determines which novelty hat they get to wear. Then we have the starter, after that there's a bit of a gap and chatting while I finish cooking the main course- that takes a while to eat and more chat and plenty of wine flowing, then everyone is usually too full for dessert immediately so I always have a few fun games planned like Christmas Trivia cards, or Christmas charades. Then we have dessert followed by coffees and after dinner mints.

Usually have at least 5 of us, sometimes more..

I would make it and sit and enjoy it with a glass of wine. Wouldn’t bother me at all. I’ve got a bit of a chaotic Christmas coming up and although im
looking forward to it, The thought of sitting by myself and enjoying a starter and a wine in silence sounds like bliss

Could you maybe make a larger version of the salad for yourself for a nice Christmas eve or Boxing Day lunch?

I’m a massive cheese fan and would love a Christmas day cheese board, but no one else in my family is interested in cheeses. So I’ve bought a couple of nice festive cheese and a good chutney and will have an indulgent Christmas Eve lunch. Any leftovers I can pick at in the evening on Christmas Day!

It sounds like Xmas at MILs is going to come with challenges for both of you , and probably be a bit off all round, so just make the best of it. We’ve never had much success trying to fool ourselves into pretending another day is “really” Christmas, and have had years where we accepted that the day itself was a bit of a write off - or at least not the day we’d do if left to ourselves. (Turkey sandwiches in a service station car park on the M5 was a particular low point, in a failed attempt to improve things by doing Christmas Eve at home and driving to parents on the day).

But you can def cheer up the season around it too - have a fun afternoon/evening when you put up decs/wrap gifts, do Christmas movies/music and good food. Go Scandinavian and do something for the two of you Xmas Eve. Make New Years special.

it sounds like you have some fun plans already :)

Op, we do canapés, if your husband doesn’t eat much, and your mil is a bit rigid, why not start your own tradition. Just say I got some canapés. Put them out about 11 or something if you need to have lunch so early. Then your husband won’t get so full, you can eat some treat stuff. Markies do some lovely ones and a big range,

also just buy what you fancy pudding wise, you may find the just eat it if it’s there.

I also don't get the point of a starter for Christmas dinner.

However, don't you have some meals out with friends or colleagues before Christmas. The meal on Christmas day shouldn't be the only opportunity for a special meal.

Good shout! I did the same - probably have enough to last until next Christmas 😄

I’m struggling to get my head around wolfing down Christmas dinner in 15 minutes…nope, I can’t.

I understand where you're coming from. And yes, you could do it for yourself but there's not much joy in it if the other 2 people are not partaking and don't get it.

My in-laws don't have much of a sense of occasion. Everything is fussed over and nobody wants to make a decision so we end up listening to odd music and the conversation is either stilted or just another long monologue from my MIL.

I grew up in a house where meals, especially for an 'event' were special, nice drinks provided, aperitifs, good music, toasts and lots of laughter and chat. I have felt teary on Christmas Days previously when we've spent it at my husband's parents house.

We now spend Christmas at home and do it all our own way. It took a while for my husband to mark events more significantly but he loves it now thank goodness. I feel for you.

Genuinely interested how anyone makes a meal with 3 people last longer than 30mins?

It’s different if you’re dining with long lost relatives and have years or life to catch up on, but this is you, your partner and your MIL. How much is there to say?

There’ll be 7 of us for Christmas dinner. We go straight in for the roast (which will stuff us), probably 15mins max. Then the kids will have pudding whilst we tidy away. Then maybe an hour later the adults will have pudding. I see my parents multiple times a month, so we’ll just eat, chat about rubbish for a bit and move onto the next part of the day. Isn’t that normal?

Absolutely -by 63 if I’ve learnt one thing in life it is I’m afraid to make yourself number 1 - if others don’t want to do the same then let them do their own thing - oh and if you don’t want to watch the kings speech - don’t - being a martyr as I learnt got me knowhere , except riled up - I changed quite a few things in lockdown including having Xmas dinner at 6pm ish - and ‘the starter’ became brunch at 12 - much prefer it

Multiple crimes against hospitality (paper plates ffs), gotta go - glad you are free of this maniac now @Crikeyalmighty

Yep there were other things too including being ocd about any mess ( preferred paper plates etc - all very odd and generally pretty controlling but done under the guise of ‘care’ - none of which was revealed until I had already moved in - he hid it very well - took me 3 years to get myself out of it .

i would love your starter by the way.

A ready meal for Christmas dinner? 100% a dumping offence, that is shocking!

Oh I feel for you, nice food is a real treat when a lot of other treats these days are so expensive (like theatre tickets, nights out, travel and weekends away, hobbies etc).

I’ve realised there are more people like your husband and MIL. I overheard a woman say the other day “I’m having my dad to mine Christmas for the first time ever. We usually go to my sister’s and she does 3 courses and lots of fancy food. He’s going to get a shock at mine because I won’t do anything like that because I wouldn’t eat it, I eat like a sparrow.”

I am feeling sorry for her dad already and want to tell him to go to his other daughter’s to have a proper Christmas Day. Poor man. Joyless woman.

Absolutely, if it’s just this particular event then it’s different to mine - mine was a kind of ‘any’ occasion thing - personally I would make the starter you fancy and have it all to myself and make sure you have stuff in for pudding too, get some jolly music on, have a bath in afternoon and a new book/magazine -