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Original poster

AIBU - Partner told me to be quiet

103 replies

CheeseSandwich1 · 14/12/2025 16:38

Driving home from the shops, where we’d been to (mostly) collect Christmas things for his business.

I’m sorting out hampers for a charity his business is supporting so on the way home I asked him he’d got the boxes for me to wrap and put together.

He responded by asking me for some ‘peace and quiet in the car’ so I haven’t spoken to him since apart from calling him a tw*t under my breath.

I am absolutely fuming! I’m helping him with something that’s nothing to do with me and he asked for peace and quiet!

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 14/12/2025 18:41

So you talk to him now calmly and tell him you were upset and felt unappreciated in the car. See what he says

Brendahollowayjustlookwhatyouhavedone · 14/12/2025 18:38

Just because he's got a penis
Doesn't mean he hasn't got hands.
He can do his own stuff..prick!!

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/12/2025 18:33

You’re constantly shagging, and running around after him and doing everything for the family.

I’ll tell you what I wish someone had told SIL 20 years ago… There are no medals, if you lie down people will wipe their feet on you, martyrs gets crosses not celebrations.

Have sex you want when you want it and only if you get something out of it. Do things you want to do. Favours are requested nicely and thanks are given. And they are reciprocated or they don’t happen again.

diddl · 14/12/2025 18:33

Perhaps he should just have gone by himself to get what he needed?

rosierosierosie · 14/12/2025 18:25

Please don’t do the hampers or any other gifts for his work ever again! Anything that is partially done this year just leave it. If he kicks off about it - let him. It’s the only way he’ll learn.

southerngirl10 · 14/12/2025 18:21

abracadabra1980 · 14/12/2025 18:00

Hmm - this reminds me of my exH, whom I supported whilst driving him to take a DNA test - in case he was being wrongly accused of fathering a child that was not his. Instead of being grateful for the support, he snapped at me on the way for my driving. It was early days in a rather hasty second marriage. Child was his. Marriage ended, no regrets. I mean, the sheer AUDACITY of the man. And the absolute idiocy of myself for not listening to my own, correct, gut in the first place-not about the baby but about his tone and manner long before this.

Can't believe he snapped at you for a little thing like that

JLou08 · 14/12/2025 18:12

Shops in mid December are hell on Earth. I would have wanted peace and quiet on the way home too.

vanillalattes · 14/12/2025 18:09

Naala · 14/12/2025 17:34

Are you actually telling me that it isn't odd to write on the internet that you had sex with your DH (like it's some kind of thing you allow him to have), so he should be happy? Perfectly fine to have had sex yesterday and still be annoyed at someone taking ages to get ready to go out and overthinking unnecessary organisation of Christmas tat to the point you can't think straight.

Show quote history

I'm referring to your post as a whole which was unnecessarily unpleasant and unkind.

Bestfootforward11 · 14/12/2025 18:08

Well I think when he comes to asking you about doing the boxes, the only answer is ‘sorry but I need some peace and quiet…’

abracadabra1980 · 14/12/2025 18:00

Hmm - this reminds me of my exH, whom I supported whilst driving him to take a DNA test - in case he was being wrongly accused of fathering a child that was not his. Instead of being grateful for the support, he snapped at me on the way for my driving. It was early days in a rather hasty second marriage. Child was his. Marriage ended, no regrets. I mean, the sheer AUDACITY of the man. And the absolute idiocy of myself for not listening to my own, correct, gut in the first place-not about the baby but about his tone and manner long before this.

southerngirl10 · 14/12/2025 17:56

Maybe, at that moment, he wanted a bit of peace and quiet?

MrsDoubtingMyself · 14/12/2025 17:53

CheeseSandwich1 · 14/12/2025 17:22

If I stopped doing even half of what I do my child wouldn’t have a birthday this week and Christmas would just be another day!

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Stop doing things DIRECTLY RELATED TO HIM

Vaxtable · 14/12/2025 17:48

I would just leave every thing to do with the boxes where he can find them, tell him they are there and leave him to it

nomas · 14/12/2025 17:46

CheeseSandwich1 · 14/12/2025 17:22

If I stopped doing even half of what I do my child wouldn’t have a birthday this week and Christmas would just be another day!

Show quote history

What does your child’s Christmas have to do with his work’s charity Christmas hampers?

Just down tools and stop helping him, he doesn’t even appreciate it.

And stop having sex with him just to make him happy,

Daisy12Maisie · 14/12/2025 17:45

I really, really struggle with driving and I need to concentrate so if people talk and ask me questions I do need to say please can you be quiet. It’s either that or I will have an accident. Everyone close to me knows I struggle with driving though so it’s not a surprise. My mum, who has sadly passed away now used to refuse to stop talking when I was concentrating and it did nearly cause an accident so I had to stop giving her lifts as it made me feel unsafe.

So in the car if someone asked me to be quiet I would be quiet.

I think if he is rude the rest of the time that is a different matter.

Eyeshadow · 14/12/2025 17:42

I sometimes need quiet, especially in the car.
My mum is someone who needs to talk constantly in the car and it drives me mad.

He is obviously stressed about other things, shopping at this time of year is overwhelming and stressful and he just needed to rest his brain.

I completely understand why you’d be so annoyed though, especially as it was for something that benefits him but I am trying to think of a way he could have said this without it coming across as rude but I can’t.

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 14/12/2025 17:41

Are you an incessant yapper op?
I have a friend who talks constantly and it is very grating. I love her but in small doses 😂

YourZippyHare · 14/12/2025 17:37

Well, I wouldn't do his boxes for him after that. He clearly doesn't appreciate your efforts and takes you for granted.

Please tell me you're not having sex with your DH purely as some sort of favour to him. That's really messed up and not fair on you.

Naala · 14/12/2025 17:34

vanillalattes · 14/12/2025 17:27

Blimey, who pissed on your chips?

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Are you actually telling me that it isn't odd to write on the internet that you had sex with your DH (like it's some kind of thing you allow him to have), so he should be happy? Perfectly fine to have had sex yesterday and still be annoyed at someone taking ages to get ready to go out and overthinking unnecessary organisation of Christmas tat to the point you can't think straight.

ginasevern · 14/12/2025 17:33

Duckyfondant · 14/12/2025 16:54

Don't be angry. He's made your week a lot easier by the sounds of things. One job off the list

Have you actually read the OP or is this an attempt at humour?

vanillalattes · 14/12/2025 17:27

Naala · 14/12/2025 17:18

No, it doesn't. She didn't need to ask if he had the boxes or whatever. They were going home and he needed to focus on driving. They could discuss the nonsense of the hampers at another time if they're indeed really necessary.

It sounds like she thinks everything she contributes to makes her a saint, when people probably wouldn't miss half of it and she's doing it to go on about how busy and put out and unappreciated she is. Just carried on reading the thread and got to the particular gem about her having sex with him, so he should be happy!

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Blimey, who pissed on your chips?

PashaMinaMio · 14/12/2025 17:27

Naala · 14/12/2025 17:13

He didn't tell you to 'be quiet' as per your title. He asked for some peace and quiet in the car. He's driving and needs to concentrate. The shops were probably busy and overwhelming. And it's reasonable to ask for what you need.

I like peace & quiet in the car.
Cant bear constant prattle in car or anywhere else. He is clearly stressed and needed down time, head space to think maybe.
But then, you are too with everything you’ve had to do.

Your query was founded on caring & planning so he was rude, but in my experience with some people, they. never. stop. talking.
It duz my ‘ead in!

CatPawsAreCute · 14/12/2025 17:26

CheeseSandwich1 · 14/12/2025 17:22

If I stopped doing even half of what I do my child wouldn’t have a birthday this week and Christmas would just be another day!

Show quote history

Sounds a great partner...

😬🙄

Original poster
CheeseSandwich1 · 14/12/2025 17:22

Naala · 14/12/2025 17:18

No, it doesn't. She didn't need to ask if he had the boxes or whatever. They were going home and he needed to focus on driving. They could discuss the nonsense of the hampers at another time if they're indeed really necessary.

It sounds like she thinks everything she contributes to makes her a saint, when people probably wouldn't miss half of it and she's doing it to go on about how busy and put out and unappreciated she is. Just carried on reading the thread and got to the particular gem about her having sex with him, so he should be happy!

Show quote history

If I stopped doing even half of what I do my child wouldn’t have a birthday this week and Christmas would just be another day!

OP posts:
EchoedSilence · 14/12/2025 17:21

I'd have called him a twat out loud.