To wonder what all these thoughtful gifts are?

That’s a gorgeous present

I can tell you the opposite of thoughtful.After years of receiving hotel chocolate Christmas and Easter for the past 8 years from my brother,.i plucked up the courage to admit in conversation when they were mentioned ,that I didn't like them.That was 2 years ago.i had some at Easter this year and just been given another for Christmas.my lovely brother is very generous, but I can't bear the thought of him wasting his money every year.on the other hand, my neighbour is happy as I give them to her.

I’m happy with hand cream , body lotion so long as it’s not heavily scented .
One thing I like to get is a large family planner calendar, boring I know 😆
One year I was given a really nice Chilly bottle and I have used that so much so really appreciated that as they’re a bit pricey .

I am thinking that the perfect MN gift would be a second-hand book from a charity shop.
Ticks all the boxes this year at least - next year, who knows? (As far as I remember Lindor were not mentioned last year but seem to have shot into the faddy top five of tat gifts this year)

Oh, I don’t know about that, I’m one of those strange people who just absolutely LOVE socks (probably to the point that I have waaaay more pairs than I’d actually be able to wear 😂)!

@JingleMyBellsChristmasSmells & @NoisyViewer I have tried to make suggestions previously of things that they would actually like that can be bought on line (she does shop online). But they have been disregarded. She never asks for suggestions, so I often feel a bit awkward asking for something specific. Would not like vouchers as its the ripping off the wrapping paper and the boxes she likes. So often the bigger the box the gift comes in the better, regardless of what it is.

I think 'thoughtful' is when you've taken note of when someone has paused by a shop window and said 'oooh, that's lovely!; at something, or picked something up in a shop and sadly put it back saying 'bit too much for my budget.' It shows you've listened, you've taken on board what they've said and then you go back and surprise them with it later. You didn't buy it because YOU liked it, or because it was the right price or because it looked like the kind of thing they might like, you bought it because they had SAID they liked it, but not bought it for themselves for whatever reason.

There are an awful lot of people who can spend inordinate amounts of time with you where you point at things and sigh over things and yet they STILL give you a box of generic chocolates and say 'I didn't know what to get you.'

Hand cream soap shower gel or body butter are gratefully received. A couple of friends and I exchange charity shop books. It’s great to have a book I wouldn’t necessarily of chosen.

Exactly I like a candle because they'll come in useful and can be stuck in a cupboard or easily regifted.

I don't want any presents but if I have to get them then something that will actually be used and not take up too much space/need disposing of are the best.

Far better than "I bought you this necklace with your birthstone" (don't wear jewellery) or "I know you like cats so here is a jumper with a cute cat on it because I'm SO THOUGHTFUL and KNOW YOU SO WELL!

No, I like the actual live animals, not random tat with pictures on them!

"Thoughtful presents" usually actually mean someone mentioning they are interested in something ONCE and then getting tangentially themed tat for the rest of their life -

e.g. mention Jane Austen is your favourite author - you like the plot, witticisms, language....that does not mean you're going to wear a t shirt emblazoned with "future Mrs darcy."

You enjoy the competitiveness, exercise, being outdoors, chatting to friends elements of playing golf and are supposed to be delighted by a pen in the shape of a golf stick.

Yes, it really makes me laugh too. It’s utter bollocks.

I have a colleague who claims she is allergic to entire brands. As if there is a special ingredient that goes into ALL products by that brand and is used by no other manufacturer.

“Oh, I’m allergic to anything Benefit!,’ she’ll say. As if a Benefit blusher has the same ingredients as a Benefit mascara or concealer, but somehow has no ingredients in common with a blusher by any other brand.

See, the fact that you believe ‘scented candles for a middle-aged woman’ must be thoughtless just proves the point that people aren’t always as thoughtful as they think they are! Because I’m a middle-aged woman and I fucking love a decent quality scented candle. Nobody ever buys them for me.

Thoughtful gifts are those which the giver has spent time thinking about in regards to if the receiver would like/use them. They can be experiences, big ticket items or smaller items. Even generic gifts can be thoughtful.

For example a thoughtful gift is buying someone "nice smellies" in scents you know they like and either the brand they like or something more luxurious than what they buy themselves. A thoughtless gift for that same person is buying whatever bathing gift set is on BOGOF or 3 for 2 in the shops.

We have bought Great Grandmother in law something many people would consider thoughtless. However, she is in a home with dementia. In her lucid and younger days she enjoyed bathing and always bought and used Nivea smellies. Nowadays she is in the home and is bathed in whatever shower gel MIL buys from the supermarket for her. We have bought GGMIL some Nivea smellies. We've also bought her some chocolate ginger snaps (another favourite from her younger days). Along with a scrapbook photo album full of current pictures of family members with them all labeled with who they are for her to go through with visitors.

I got my siblings an embroidery of my grandparents signatures from our childhood birthday cards. To this day they say it was the most thoughtful gift they received. We all have it in our homes and it’s really meaningful to us.

I thìnk the some of the most thoughtful presents I have ever received are from my adult autistic son. For my birthday last year, he bought me a beautiful box decorated with musical instruments and symbols. This year (my birthday was last week), he had made a small version of a Pass the Parcel and inside were three boxes with five musical mugs in total. He had bought them from Ebay a long time previously knowing that they would be the perfect gift for me.

Exactly that. My in laws are a bit like your SIL - in their mind they should buy everyone lots of things - which means they spend less on each item- when I'd generally prefer one or two nicer things I wouldn't buy myself.

There's a lot of talk about boots gift sets, I'm not against them myself as they do get used... but if I'm getting one I want one with stuff in I won't buy myself.

Perhaps it's a split between the piles of presents people and the don't need lots of stuff people?

Consderations for buying a WOKE a thoughtful Christmas gift

Definitelly steer away from any thing enjoyable.

Such as the old eong usedbto say

It's illegal
It's immoral
Or it makes you fat

It’s the thought that counts, but when there’s been no thought, it doesn’t count. I’ve been the victim of so little thought over the years (that causes me guilt, rubbish bin and charity shop material) I say No Presents please. This has caused a problem with one particular person this Christmas. I think what they want me to do is send them an amazon link to something I want, and for them to do the same in exchange, but I don’t see the point.

for Me, thoughtless has included:

mugs (don’t drink hot drinks)
earrings (don’t have pierced ears)
clothes for my children in the wrong season (so I got newborn sized winter cosies for my June born babies)
bath stuff (I don’t have a bath)

I can’t stand body lotion , body butter so I don’t like getting those gift sets from boots . I would be very happy with a bottle of shower gel instead . I don’t need to worry though as I only receive gifts from my adult children and they tend to buy me things that I do like . The present I bought for my SIL a couple of years ago can’t be beaten ( his words ) . He loves coffee and had a machine which took pods and worked out very expensive. I bought him a bean to cup coffee machine . The beans cost less than a quarter of the cost of the pods each month so it has well paid for itself. A thoughtful gift in his eyes .

Literally her request. Lush or something equal. So I know she's not just being polite as a previous poster suggested.

I really like getting smellies as long as they are something I wouldn't normally buy. Like Lush rather than a Dove gift set

Thoughtful is about knowing the person for me.

I used to teach, and 1 Christmas, Mil got me a Book People set of books linked to my subject. Unfortunately, they were absolutely nothing to do with any of the topics I taught, and not an area I had any interest in. It was literally 'oh, that's her subject'. My Sil said she's always more than happy with Cadbury's and doesn't really like Hotel Chocolat/Lindt etc but people don't see Cadbury as 'presenty' enough, so get her the fancier stuff, which she passes on to others

Exactly that. I am not a fan of the made for Xmas sets that boots etc are full of . Obviously if given one i would be grateful but it doesn't show someone knows me.
I would also rather something that cost a pound in a charity Shop if the item was v me.
I always buy thoughtful things and people will comment but then a teensy bit sad when I get a generic bottle of wine/bath set in return.
I will get things throughout the year for people and know when brother and sil go on specific xmas shopping day that it will be bath sets etc
As I said always grateful but am alwsys so touched when someone shows they really know me ❤️

Yep, I commented earlier how SIL spends £20 & asks for ideas. I asked for an £18 bottle of shower gel. Pricey & I don’t buy it myself but as a gift I would like it. She said she literally couldn’t justify it & got my instead 3 gifts that I didn’t use, didn’t eat & didn’t like (hot chocolate, I just don’t like it). I didn’t get the rationale behind her thinking. Yes I wouldn’t spend that for myself. But I would 100% buy it as a gift for some one

It would be better if she just put the money in a card. What a waste