Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Mate’s engaged to a serial cheater

30 replies

EventsLawLife · 14/12/2025 14:48

Hi,
Not sure what to do in this position. My friend has been with his partner for over 10 years and is due to be married next year to her and for their entire relationship she has relentlessly been cheating on him with different men. One of her own friends has refused to go to the wedding and cut her off due to the guilt and behaviour and several people know about how’s she’s behaved. I’m so shocked he hasn’t found out. The worst l case was 2 years ago, my mate was on a stag do and Amy, (the fiancé) brought a man she’d met in a pub back to their shared house and slept with him in their bed. She apparently hid pictures of herself and my mate from view so the man she took back thought she was single. I’ve seen a photograph of them on the sofa together.
another case that was shocking was her pretending a man was gay and sleeping with him in the next room of their flat. A third case was her gas lighting when he was suspicious of her work colleague and she was cheating with him but acting like my friend (Sam) was crazy and not nice to not believe her. It’s getting closer to the wedding, a lot of the wedding (and their house) was paid for by my mate and I just wonder if I should mention anything or just leave it. Surely she’ll get found out. My work mum suggested posting on here for advice. I just don’t want my mate to marry her and end up having to give her half the house he’s paid a deposit for and spending all this on a marriage to someone who’s been such a liar and cheat through their whole relationship. It seems the whole of Leeds minus Sam knows what she’s been up to. I don’t know what to do

OP posts:
TwistedWonder · 14/12/2025 15:08

HevenlyMeS · 14/12/2025 15:01

Why haven't you just told your friend Sam? Surely you would wish to know if this were happening to you? Wouldn't you expect a Sincere friend to let you know & prevent you from making a fool of yourself?!

100% agree - he should have been told after the first proof of cheating rather than watching him continue to be mugged off by a lying cheat .

MakeItToTheMoon · 14/12/2025 15:08

Tell your friend ASAP. He may know deep down but for whatever reason is ignoring the truth.

Even if you lose a friendship, surely better than participating in this lie. What would you want if you were in his situation? Imagine if you didn’t tell your friend and they have children in the future, it’s going to become more complicated.

FuzzyWolf · 14/12/2025 15:06

Why have you sat by so many incidents and not spoken up sooner?

ChristmasinBrighton · 14/12/2025 15:03

I would tell them but be prepared for the friendship to end if they decide to shoot the messenger.

HevenlyMeS · 14/12/2025 15:01

Why haven't you just told your friend Sam? Surely you would wish to know if this were happening to you? Wouldn't you expect a Sincere friend to let you know & prevent you from making a fool of yourself?!