Mate’s engaged to a serial cheater

Yes I used to work in offices before having my Children, so I'm presuming Work Mum's quite a newish term as we didn't use it when I worked in offices - Thanks for your enlightenments
I'm sure others will appreciate them too

I would get Sam, Amy and work mum all together in one room. Last one standing gets Sam's house.

Do you work in an office? We had 2 people we often affectionately referred to as work mum, and work dad. Sadly both have passed now, but in both their funerals the person doing the eulogy referred to them being known as work mum / dad. Just someone you form a close bond with and go to for advice / help, generally a generation difference between you.

He almost certainly already knows but is burying it or thinks its too late to do anything.

But yes you need to tell him. Don’t stand by and let him marry someone who has no respect for him.

I bet he knows really and is burying it because he’s so besotted by her. Some of those instances sound blindingly obvious and everyone knows around him, there’s just no way he hasn’t heard the gossip.

“Work mum”
”It seems the whole of Leeds minus Sam knows what she’s been up to”

and all this drama and shenanigan

You and I might as well be living in different planets OP.

I've been in this situation except it was my pal who was cheating on a her fiancé. I told him, after telling her that I would if she didn't. I lost my whole friendship group but a good guy didn't marry a cheater so I'm ok with it 🤷‍♀️

I honestly don't know how you can both call yourself a friend and sit by and watch him be treated this way tbh.

OP, ask yourself this, if you were in this poor man's shoes wouldn't you want someone, anyone to tell you? Especially before you get married to the cheater? He's being made a complete fool of, do the decent thing and tell him what's been going on.

If any of my friends knew my partner was cheating I would be so hurt that they hadn't ever said anything to me - you're all complicit to have let it go on for such a long time (ten years?!) without ever having sat him down and had a difficult but hugely important conversation with him. Step up and be a true friend and tell him the truth. He might shoot the messenger, it might strain your friendship for a while - but it's the kindest thing you can do for him, it really is. Surely you would feel a complete heel going to the wedding knowing what you know?

I'm so sorry to hear you went through such awful betrayals 😢
Yes I completely comprehend & concur with you, I don't understand why any friend wouldn't bring truth to light
Surely if someone's your friend, you value & respect them, not wishing them to be made a fool of
Well done for being so strong & not speaking to them "so called" friends any more 💚
Wishing you all the utmost very best 💚

Yes I was just thinking the same 🤔
In fact I don't think I've ever come across the term "Work Mum" before
Does it mean, female manager
Really confused 💚

Yes completely concur with you Sincere Soul 💚Exactly true - Part of being someone's friend, is looking out for them 🫂

Well tell him now and give him the chance to decide for himself! Also are these their real names and area?

How on earth does everyone know apart from Sam? I would speak to him. How on earth in good conscience could you go to the wedding and watch him do that??

I would tell him and I would remind him that if he married her she would get half of everything he has worked for so to please consider the position he'd be putting himself in when he's marrying someone who doesn't even have basic respect towards him. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror if I let my mate marry someone without knowing all the facts, couldn't even call myself their mate anymore if I could do that to them actually. Tell your mate, be there to support, yes he'll be hurt but he'll be alot less hurt than he will be if he marrys her thats for sure.

You don't know what to do??!! Some friend you are!
You tell him, right away, that's what you should do, because that's what any real friend would do. I'm shocked you've left him in the dark for this long.

May this type of friendship never find me.

I think firstly, this is potentially outing if you've written both their names and where they live.. so change that.

Secondly yes obviously you should have sat your friend down and asked if this is something he's sure he wants to do given that she has been cheating but if you do that you need to be prepared for him to react badly towards you, or you go armed with receipts.

I hope never to have a friend like you. Have you been eating popcorn with your 'work mum' while watching this unfold over the last ten years?

you come across as…. Well a little unpleasant odd bod if I’m honest

my work mum

well that’s a new one

I really don't get "friends" like you. I've been blindsided by my former partner for years and all of our friends knew and none of them thought to tell me. When the truth came out, I actually felt more betrayed by my "friends" and never spoke to any of them again. They had me for an absolute fool.
Tell your mate. You should have told him years ago!

Okay seriously, what do you think the word 'friend' actually means because the fact you haven't told him is actually insane.
Or are you one of those people who is okay with not doing something that could help their friend avoid getting screwed over if it means you dont have to deal with any aggro or lose the friendship... ie, its about whats best for you, not them...

What a great friend you are, letting him get gaslit and being treated like a fool for years. Poor guy.

Sit him down and tell him. Hard but that's what a friend would do I think.