To think ADHD/ASD labels get used too casually sometimes?

Actually attention disorder was first written about in 1753, so it has been around for a long time.

online everything can and does get thrown around flippantly

love languages for example

it can help and hinder and dilute

real life is different - people need money, food, a home, a job, friends, relationships - we all need to work these things out ourselves no one is going to help you outside your close ones (some medical therapy assistance aside) but to expect awareness to create this open road of understanding is unrealistic- and the danger can come when people think online awareness and understanding filters into the real world it doesn’t not as much as some expect

but people work that out

I do not use neuro spicy to describe me, but others have. Mostly because I have multiple diagnoses (ADHD, ASD - actually Asperger's it was that long ago, and dyslexia. Suspected dyspraxia... But to be frank there's no need to be on another waiting list for that at this point in my life!). I often took it as people being light-hearted/ something said by friends. It can be quite annoying when overused on forums/ social media mind.

I do think people use 'every one is a bit...' too much. And it minimises genuine struggles.

Sure, some people are quick to pathologize any behaviour. Culture in general has moved more towards that over the last few decades. Some are quick to do it others, others do it to themselves. I've noticed some people around my younger teenagers ages (14 &16) seem to think any strong emotion means you need to see a therapist.

That said, much of what I'm reading, I've been hearing for over 20 years, back when my oldest was denied being put forward for assessment because, in the paediatrician's words 'everyone thinks their kid is autistic these days' and she put in writing that my DS1 (age 6 at the time) communication difficulties and DD1's (age 4) 'odd cadence to her voice' was entirely because I have a foreign accent. Everything else about them was dismissed, it was all my fault.

Funnily, when my DD1 finally had her assessment at 17, after being put forward by her secondary SENCO after repeated meltdowns at school, the sing-song cadence of her voice was included in the write-up as one of the several indicators the clinician viewed as significant enough to say she meets the criteria for ASD. DD found it funny, I had a lot of other feelings.

So yeah, some people apply labels too quickly, and I find it frustrating when it's mainly jumped on to explain negative behaviours; however, I'd rather people were open to the possibility rather other people be dismissed the way my kids were. They could have gotten help so much sooner if we hadn't hit the wall of the people who assumed we're jumping on a bandwagon.

As for neurospicy, I think my DD has it - we already have neurodivergent as an umbrella term, neurospicy is playful language that isn't always appropriate. It's one thing when people she knows who are at a similar place where she is now use it for themselves as a playful thing - we don't need to be serious about our conditions all the time (I refer to having a hypotensive episode as my limb(s) being switched off so she's used to playful disability language) - but if anyone had used that on her when she was a kid and still having high support needs she'd have felt belittled, and it would be very disrespectful to use as a general term towards everyone who is neurodivergent, particularly in her eyes if they were including some of the kids she's worked with with who have very high support needs.

I do think it's disrespectful to those who can't function without a lot of support to be lumped together with those who've essentially jumped onto a bandwagon but who are perfectly capable of coping with the real world.

There has been discussion for some time of the pros and cons of having brought conditions together under the ASD umbrella and on considerations to divide out again based on areas of difficulties and/or severity. I see the appeal of having clearer lines or better ways to discuss ASD on its own compared to ASD with some common comorbidities that significantly increase support needs, but also the benefits in recognizing that disabilities in the real world are rarely that neat and for many, support needs fluctuate over time and with environment.

Both my DS1 and DD1 have previously needed high to very high levels of support, but once out of secondary, able to be in environments of their choice that they could develop their own coping strategies (like the scripting PP mentioned), their support needs dropped. DD1 went from having autistic meltdowns regularly to not having one since she left secondary school - close sometimes, but never like it was - and she has been able to work well - if having found the interview process rather difficult to navigate. DS1 has gone from doing 5 GCSEs in a specialised programme and everything being a struggle other than maths to being flown out by his employer for projects. I imagine they appear able to perfectly cope in the real world, and that's credit to their hard work and having been mindful of finding environments that suit them so they no longer need as much external support, not that they are less autistic now than they used to be.

My son is the same but there is a separate and growing profound autism community
There is a really good American Facebook group im part of who really get it.

Thank you, my ds, who is also autistic is in his second year of uni now, that was after being home schooled for 5 years.

I know it gets worse before it gets better, just have to get through this 'worse' bit first.

I'll bet you're so proud of your dd, and you should be damned proud of yourself too 💐

@BeforeSigourneyWeaverTheyWoveTheirOwnSigourneys

She will get better though!

Mine was like this for 18 months. Shes at university now.

Best of luck 💐

I'm not expecting anyone to do anything.

My own personal experience is that the people who use these terms are quite attention seeking. I put them in the same category as people who say things like "I'm mad, me". It's also my personal experience that people who say "neurospicy" or variations of it are usually undiagnosed and have probably done an online test.

ND people can also be attention seeking. And attention seekers can claim neurodivergence.

3 of my dc are ND, I've had a fair bit of experience over the last 20 years.

I have diagnosed and medicated OCD and it really pisses me off when people who like their tins in a certain order say the have OCD. Looking at you khloe kardashian.

It’s a debilitating, cruel disease that robs people of their lives.

I work with many young uni students with ADHD and autism. I don't ask whether it is a formal diagnosis or not. I ask what they need to be able to succeed in their studies. I think it is not so much about labels but about what they need. If a student tells me background noise really bothers them, I am fine with them wearing earplugs in class. I don't know if it is autism or a personality trait within the "normal" range and I don't think it matters as much as people think it does. Normal is a big, big spectrum. So is neurodiverse.

However, my DS's youngest is nonverbal autistic and has severe limitations that have changed the course of our family's life. I sometimes worry that people online in the "superpowers" and "neurospicy" brigade don't want to be reminded that autism can also be like that because it isn't TikTokable content.

I was diagnosed OCD and ADHD and ODD when I was 7, 9, & 11. Each one in that order.

Living with OCD my whole life (and not the cute clean type, i am infact super messy) my OCD revolves around food, and things not being clean - my own house is fine, even though its messy. I've never been able to drink from a mug! How fun. I hate the 'little bit ocd' term that is always thrown around.

If that blanket not being straight isn't making you count to 7 repeatedly in your head or making you want to pinch your skin off or some other daft shit, then kindly, shut up.

However, ADHD - yes I believe it's way more common now, I was diagnosed very young when it wasn't really given to girls. I've been on and off medication my whole life and I've always hidden and masked. It's nice to know that so many other people have it, it makes me feel more normal. I'm more aware of it now than ever whilst it's always just been 'me' I think it's helped alot of my friends and family to understand me alot more too as it's so out there.

So them sharing how it affects them is actually kind of peaceful to my brain.

It's always been something I never really felt I could explain. It's just who I am.

I do however if I ever share my diagnosis with a friend, feel the need to point out it's not a new diagnosis, I didn't chase it. Because I do worry people take a very serious mental health condition and deem it as part of a current fad.

This isn't true, there were very high levels of unemployment in the 70's. ADHD would have existed, but just have been conceived of in a different way.

We now understand how both present differently in woman and girls. I was at school in the 70s, I have adhd and autism and always did.

Tbh, they didn't go into detail or give a full explanation, just said that I don't have the traits they'd look for to be able to give a diagnosis. During the assessment, they were more interested in my childhood (primary school age) than how I am as an adult, and it became very apparent that, as a child, I was able to focus. I enjoyed completing class projects and was an avid reader. The psychologist implied that I wouldn't have been able to focus on reading a book if I had ADHD. They decided I don't have it, and put my symptoms/traits down to past trauma and stress in my current life.

Nobody had ADHD in the 70s ... everybody went to school, got a job ... what has happened to change this in such a short space if time?

Yep she was when she accused me of projecting first.

I think this is gatekeeping tbh
"Oh my diagnosis is real but you're just daytripping"
The trouble is some people need to feel unique and special but nobody is

Don’t you think this is judging neurodivergent people though? The whole point is that they often don’t behave according to expected social norms as they don’t understand social rules as neurotypical people do to a greater or lesser extent… you’re expecting them to conform to an expectation (referring to themselves only through a diagnosis and not through a term that may help them feel connected or less othered).

Don’t you think this is judging neurodivergent people though? The whole point is that they often don’t behave according to expected social norms as they don’t understand social rules as neurotypical people do to a greater or lesser extent… you’re expecting them to conform to an expectation (referring to themselves only through a diagnosis and not through a term that may help them feel connected or less othered).

People with autism vary as much as people without. I have seen clinical reports that say 'meets some of the criteria for an autism diagnosis'. It isn't like there is a blood test for it.

I struggle with being on time, get easily distracted, sometimes zone out and don’t move for ages because I can’t get myself moving, overthink conversations and crave time alone to decompress. This is extremely common amongst women my age (30/40s) who are trying to juggle young children, demanding jobs and an overuse of phones and screen time. It’s relentless. I notice many many women my age attributing some
of these things to ‘undiagnosed adhd’ and maybe some of them do have it, but I would never assume I’ve got adhd when I’ve managed to hold down a job and get through school and uni with decent qualifications. Yes I struggle sometimes day to day but that’s completely normal. I wouldn’t say I’m a bit adhd because it totally minimises it for people with a genuine diagnosis for whom it has been debilitating their entire lives

I consider a normal life when you can work to
some extent and interact socially to get by (ie in a shop situation). I am sorry if your children will never get there.
I spent many years watching people in shops to learn how to interact. I used to write scripts before I went to shops or had to make a phone call, with different versions of what people might say and how I might respond. I am fortunate now in that I was able to get to the stage that I could do these things without the scripts.
I’m not here to score points, I’m simply explaining how I feel. My friend’s brother is an adult in body but not in mind and he never will be. He has severe leaning difficulties that will prevent him ever working or even being able to go into a shop alone.
That’s the level of autism that I feel needs perhaps its own different name.
I don’t mean to offend you.

It goes the opposite way too. People with ADHD for example going on about a messy home and so on like some NT aren't able to keep things tidy either. I think often ND people think NT have no problems and everything comes easy. I get that it's the combination of things and ND is a pathology and barriers are generally higher.

I feel sometimes they talk about a symptom as if it only applies to ND when it doesn't. Like 'my ADHD brain doesn't know when to stop talking'. There are NT like that and it's just an obnoxious trait and doesn't absolve of any responsibility of ones own behaviour.

This is very well put. As a society we are going down a very slippery slope labelling too many children far too easily, it also takes away the seriousness of it all.

How patronizing!