Colleague held my hand

I can’t imagine a scenario where I’d end up holding another colleagues hand. I wouldn’t like it. Id probably react on the spot. Make a joke and untangle my hand from his. That’s how I deal with things.

From what you are saying in your post, it sounds like you froze........which is a natural and normal reaction.

Your colleague miss-judged the situation and I suggest you have a quiet but firm word with him not to pull a 'stunt' like that again as it was extremly innapropriate, especially as you are a married woman and that he made you uncomfortable.

He needs to be careful because marriages break down over things like that, this is why I suggest you warn him to keep his distance in future.

What nonsense. That's not how this works. Anything triggering can create that response

Oh come on.. she was in a classroom with a man enthusiastically talking about how well the children had done, with another TA and a class full of children watching. Hardly in a dark alleyway or quiet corner of a club having a freeze response.

Your body, your choice OP.

Your colleague did something with which you were made to feel uncomfortable.

I would make note of the event as suggested upthread. I would also speak to him (with a witness present), making it clear that he is not to touch you without your consent and document that. I would email him, making clear

I would send or cc in SLT on all emails.

If after making it clear your boundaries he oversteps then I would seek to escalate.

Edit: typos

Don’t you dare turn this round to blame OP! Freezing in a situation like this is very common, and is part of the ‘fight, flight, freeze or fawn’ response.

OMG a man held my hand, do I get a divorce, ring HR, the police, book a therapy session? Why are so many posts coming from the perspective of a 7 year old that’s had stranger danger training?

Absolutely, it just seems odd and it is unwanted as the OP clearly stated. Some men will behave like this with women who they feel are more vulnerable and given what the OP has said in this regard, this is another red flag. Speaking to SLT, without necessarily raising anything official at this stage, will at least leave a paper trail and should reassure you. They have a duty of care.

I also agree, I would definitely take this to SLT, if you don’t he might think you didn’t actually mind & come into your classroom when no one else is about & make you feel even more uncomfortable…
Having previously been a teacher that’s what I would do if I were in your shoes.
You don’t need to make a big deal about it, but it does need to be addressed so it isn’t repeated.

I would find this very very odd.

I don’t think it quite warrants escalation now, but I would do so at the first sign of it happening again.

What I would do is choose a phrase which is appropriate to use in front of children but which clearly tells him to back off. Something like “please stop touching me Mr X, I don’t like it”. Practice saying it enough that you’re confident that you’ll be able to use it if needed.

He might be a very tactile/expressive person and not realised this is an issue for you. The fact it was a handhold and done in front of the class of children would suggest it was likely meant innocently.
I’d consider raising it with him (maybe with the witnessing TA present if you don’t feel comfortable doing it alone) and saying that you don’t like being touched like that - I’m not a tactile person myself and it’s a running joke with my friends that I don’t hug, but they respect it.
IF he were then to do it again, you should consider speaking to management, BUT I’d hope that would be unlikely here.

It all sounds weird, but mainly that you had such a problem with it. So he grabbed your hand in the moment in front of loads of people. This isn't remotely romantic or flirtatious or whatever you seem to think. Would have been weirder if you were alone.

I really can't fathom why you're mentioning your husband so often OP. He's immaterial to the situation and you're making yourself sound as though you're Amish. Other men can surely link arms or hold hands with a woman whether they're married or not. The difference is context and consent. In this case your colleague took complete advantage, as men too often do. You aren't his best friend, the "performance" wasn't planned or agreed and there was definitely no need to touch you physically. He sounds like a prick. And no, he wouldn't have done it to a male colleague.

Agreed. Absolutely speak to a member of SLT informally about it. Sexual harassment can start in the grey areas where people aren’t quite sure where the boundaries are and it can start in plain sight.

Would this have been okay if you were single? Marital status is surely irrelevant.

I'm picturing him as kind of outrageously camp, Timmy Mallet-style (see pic, showing my age) ... then I can see someone doing it.
Otherwise, bit odd maybe, but ... made OP uncomfortable - worth talking to him about it first.

I think OP should trust her instincts. If something doesn’t feel right it’s often because it isn’t. I would speak to a member of SLT that you trust, not in a formal sense, but just to talk it though and to say that you find his behaviour makes you uncomfortable. They may have some input and you will have made your feelings known in case anything else happens. A male teacher holding your hand spontaneously in a way that makes you uncomfortable isn’t the same as a circle time or similar where everyone is holding hands as part of the activity, OP’s feelings are valid.

Err no. I don't think I've ever held a colleagues hand apart from helping someone climb over something on one of those team building days.

It's not appropriate and really as a teacher who will be acutely aware of appropriate behaviour protocols it's shouldn't happen

I’m not. It’s the kind of thing we do at nursery! Nothing weird in it, unless you make it so.

Is there some section in all your employment contracts/code of conduct about consensual touching?

If so you should copy and paste it and send it to him. Saying thought you might need reminding on this. Then obviously if he does it again complain to his boss.