Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

15 yr old babysitting her 12 yr old sisters

87 replies

Bayou2000 · 14/12/2025 09:06

My 15 yr old is very responsible. Over the summer I paid her to watch her twin sisters (12, who are also responsible) for up to 3 hrs at a time. For longer periods and overnights my mother looks after them if I am at work or they go to my mother’s house.
My former partner (who left to stay at an address unknown for 6 months) has made an accusation of neglect.
I have self referred myself to social work and have spoken with their school who have no concerns but will engage with social work.
My 15 yr old also babysits our neighbours children from time to time.
I feel like I have lost perspective. Was I unreasonable doing this?

OP posts:
Alicorn1707 · 14/12/2025 09:18

"My former partner (who left to stay at an address unknown for 6 months) has made an accusation of neglect"

And on the basis of his sterling parenting, you

I have self referred myself to social work and have spoken with their school who have no concerns but will engage with social work.

What do you feel you've done wrong that would require social work intervention @Bayou2000?

Howarewealldoing · 14/12/2025 09:17

I personally don’t ask my kids to ever babysit each other. But I know that’s more of a personal belief . I was always made to babysit my brothers when I was a kid.,so my parents could go out clubbing. But for a few hours and as long as it’s not often and your DD doesn’t mine . I can’t see there being an issue. But maybe wait until the twins are old enough to watch them selfs and not put the responsibility on your older DD .

Tourmalines · 14/12/2025 09:16

Forget it. He’s a twat .

user65342 · 14/12/2025 09:15

i can’t see how this would warrant social service’s interest at all. A 15 year old can babysit someone and 12 year olds are generally capable of staying on their own for a couple of hours anyway so the fact there was another older child there would be a bonus. I wouldn’t give it any more thought.

Whatsthatsheila · 14/12/2025 09:15

DustyGlow · 14/12/2025 09:13

There is absolutely nothing wrong with what you've done.
I wouldn’t have referred myself to social services over this. I was babysitting neighbours kids when I was 13 so nearly the age of your youngest.
They wouldn’t even be concerned about you leaving the 12 year olds alone without supervision (as long as not overnight)

I think she’s probably more thinking she wants to show cooperation as ex has made this allegation of neglect and perhaps gain their reassurance that she’s not done anything wrong.

the problem is her ex. What a bellend!

poetryandwine · 14/12/2025 09:14

The NSPCC appears to have no problem with this as long as the DC are fine with it and don’t have special needs. I hope you can relax, OP

DustyGlow · 14/12/2025 09:13

There is absolutely nothing wrong with what you've done.
I wouldn’t have referred myself to social services over this. I was babysitting neighbours kids when I was 13 so nearly the age of your youngest.
They wouldn’t even be concerned about you leaving the 12 year olds alone without supervision (as long as not overnight)

Ionacat · 14/12/2025 09:12

Definitely fine, my 15 year old babysits her 8 year old sister for similar periods. Grandparents are close by. I doubt social workers will say anything.

PinkFrogss · 14/12/2025 09:12

12 year olds hardly need babysitting. Many are on their own in the afternoon/evening after taking themselves home from secondary school, before their parent/s return from work.

Social services will think you’re barmy for reporting yourself and shut the case, you have nothing to worry about OP! Just be glad your twat of a partner is an ex.

SweetnsourNZ · 14/12/2025 09:11

I would think this pretty run of the mill, and has been for generations. Not all eldest children would get paid for it either.

Whatsthatsheila · 14/12/2025 09:10

Just be wholly cooperative. I can’t see they would have an issue. But if they make any recommendations like perhaps not til she’s 16 then just go with it.

how does ex know? Have the kids told him?

falalalalalalalallama · 14/12/2025 09:07

I think that's absolutely fine!

I doubt SS will have an issue with it (but I'm not an expert).