15 yr old babysitting her 12 yr old sisters

Why can’t parents just make parental decisions based on their children as individuals instead of worrying about what’s considered the right thing based on a one size fits all authority.

When you are 11 you are in secondary school and can walk there yourself, take a bus by yourself, all sorts. 13 year Olds can have paper rounds.

I used to babysit myself at aged 12.... family up the road paid me to watch their 5yo for a couple of quid an hour.

Ah, the 90s!

I wouldn't even think 2 12 yos need babysitting anyway.

What a twat
you haven’t done anything wrong

ss won’t be interested

It doesn't sound like this person made an accusation to children's services because you said you self referred to social care.

I can't understand why you'd do this from this situation

At 12 I would regularly stay home alone in the day over the school holidays, or have a friend over. Walked to and from school alone and was alone after school until parents got back from work. Very standard and not an issue

Also to add to my pp YANBU to leave the dc at home
YABU to refer yourself to SS. That was a crazy move 😅

I can’t get over the fact the you self referred yourself to social services.

You left three secondary schools age girls at home for up to 3 hours. That is what every child does, whose parents are at work in the evening.

Why on earth would you report yourself for that? I bet even ex wasn’t planning on making a report.

Sounds like a waste of time for the social care to even have to look at this. So YABU for the self referral

My children were home alone after school from age 11 which is entirely normal in a lot of families

When I was 12, I was left alone all day, everyday during the holidays without any supervision whatsoever.

Why on earth do your 12yo's need "babysitting"?

12 year olds don't need babysitting.
Half the 12 year olds in the country are home alone for a few hours after school.
Parents of Year 8 students aren't taking days of work every time there's a teacher training day.

My 12yo would need only minimal supervision so I wouldn’t even call it babysitting - she’s perfectly happy and capable of letting herself in, making food, and entertaining herself for a few hours (and enjoys the freedom once in a while!)

You self referred to social work because you left 3 children over the age of 12 at home alone for short periods? Yes, you've over reacted. How did you let him get so far in your head that you thought this was normal? Please stop talking to him if you can, if they are his kids then talk only about child contact and urgent matters.

Happens all the time in my house. In fact my 12 year old is just responsible for herself rather than 15 yo babysitting. Only thing I ask is if I’m working late past about 10pm that dd15 is in more for company. Dd12 absolutely fine alone in the day. 15 yo has regular babysitting jobs and has done since 13/14. Your ex is ridiculous.

Of course you weren’t being bloody unreasonable. Tell former partner to piss off.

I was babysitting toddlers at 12. I would have no problem leaving a 12 year old on their own for a few hours (depends on the kid, assuming they aren’t anxious). So with a 15 year old? He’s out of his mind to think this is neglect.

Agree with the posters who say it's not babysitting, surely it's just your three children aged 12 and 15 at home for a couple of hours? If your twin were much younger then the 15 year od would be looking after them but that would also be fine.

You obviously did nothing wrong. 12 year olds could be left home alone even without the 15 year old there. Your ex is an idiot, if social services even bother to investigate this obvious non issue then they are idiots too, hopefully they aren't!

Of course you're not unreasonable. At that age, me and my brother were home alone for a good three hours after school each day. And on most Friday nights while my parents were in the pub.

I didn't even consider that I was baby sitting him, he was 12, he didn't need babysitting, just couldn't be home alone at that age.

I agree that at 12, a lot of children could be left home alone for a couple of hours. It's about risk and contingency ie are they safe to use a kettle or say air fryer but maybe avoid the oven. Or leave snack made so they dont try to make anything.
Make sure phone is charged, what do they do if someone knocks the door.
Could they pop to neighbour if worried. All these little things..

Then with a 15 year old about you'd hope they'd have even more common sense to know how to deal with any unforeseen things that crop up.

The ex is being a knob.

At 12 ish my eldest child was coming home from school and walking the dogs until we got home from work (around an hour or so after he got home).
Your ex is a massive twat.

You’ve massively over reacted by referring yourself to SS but I can see why you’re so upset.

Your ex sounds like a total tosser, if he was really concerned about the children he’d have offered to help out. So the “report” he’s made is malicious with the aim of hurting you. Always think about why someone’s behaving like they are - at “address unknown” I assume he has had limited to no parenting input over the past months?

As a social worker I’d not be doing anything with that referral, in the absence of any other risk factors it sounds fine. My 14 year old and 13 year old stay home together regularly - they’re both more than able.

The thing to keep in mind is that your 15 year can’t legally be responsible for what happens with the 12 year olds so as the parent you retain responsibility should anything untoward happen. Assuming they know how to get help in an emergency, have safe access to food etc I’d not worry too much.

For a couple of hours, do 12 yr olds even need babysitting?

I don't think you are unreasonable at all in leaving a 15 yr old and 2 x 12 year olds home alone for a few hours. But I wouldn't have paid my 15 yr old. I'd just tell them they were all staying home alone together for a few hours while I went out.

Most 12 year olds are getting themselves to and from school either walking or on buses or trains, probably going to the local town/shop/park with their friends. Unless there are some extra needs not mentioned in the OP, I would not get a babysitter for a few hours for 12 year olds.

I think your ex is being ridiculous and social services will have no interest whatsoever.