15 yr old babysitting her 12 yr old sisters

A 12 year old can stay on their own at home so they wouldn’t even need a baby sitter.
Ehen my dds were 11 and 12 they came home from school on their own by bus and were alone for a few hours until I got home from work.

It’s completely understandable. Ignore the people saying you over-reacted. You needed clarity cos of your history.

if and when they contact you just explain the whole situation and they’ll understand. They aren’t going to berate you for checking.

do you have any key workers maybe someone from the local MASH team or something that you can speak to whenever your not sure of something or he’s making life difficult?

I was looking after my newborn sibling at 14/15 including making bottles/winding/bathing/nappy changing and then weaning (and really enjoyed it - might not be a universal experience) You are absolutely fine.

I think perhaps it’s a good thing this is something your school and GP and now SS are aware of @Bayou2000

ex Does sound like a malicious controller - I didn’t read all your posts to know if the relationship was abusive but if it was and you’ve left him it’s always a good thing to have it recorded with various agencies and authorities so that when he tries it on like he has done here you’ve got those professionals to help you.

if he wast abusive then fair enough - but I still understand why you wanted to get it checked. But he’s deffo wrong and deffo being malicious

Not rules driven. Rigid and control driven.

The difference is important and you need to fix that in your mind - that will help you stop taking his nonsense so seriously. He isn't keeping rules (and by implication you aren't keeping rules and from there comes self doubt).

There is a "rule" that you don't abandon kids for months, so he can't be rules driven. Just a garden variety coercive controller. Grey rock him, with help from professionals.

I'm sorry your ex has scared you into thinking you did something wrong. Its hard but try to grey rock him in future.
12 year olds don't even need babysitting so I wouldn't make your 15 year old miss out on paid shifts any more, just let them be home by themselves.

No you said your ex had made an accusation of neglect. I assumed you meant he had reported you for neglect.

I’m guessing there is more to this than been mentioned as it doesn’t really make much sense otherwise like perhaps the children have Sen

12 year olds do not need a babysitter unless they have special needs. Overnight yes. But while you’re at work no. My 11 year old stays home alone while I’m at work. There are no ‘holiday clubs’ no after school clubs for her age now she’s in secondary school and me and her dad work. What else are we meant to do? Quit work? Ridiculous. You didn’t need to refer to social services. This is a malicious report

Considering many secondary aged children will spend a few hours home alone and you provided extra supervision in terms of an older sibling I think you are fine. From reading your responses it seems like you have discussed things like emergencies with your children and what they should do. One thing to consider would be a bit of first aid knowledge, just in case, and hopefully you have a basic first aid kit that is easily accessible.

What does strike me from your responses is what a nasty piece of work your ex is and the controlling behaviour which is he still trying to execute is very damaging, including to your children. I think referring yourself is very sensible, not least as you can explain the worrying behaviour from your ex and how it may harm your children.

I hope things settle down for you.

I didn't read all the responses, but a few generations ago, kids/ Teens started work training schemes at 15!
This is perfectlyokay and obviously some will be more responsible than others , but to keep an eye on 12 year olds of course it would be ok!

When i was 15 i was paid to 'babysit' the pre-teen daughter of a neighbour who was a single parent. Her daughter was sensible and we just used to do homework together. It was fine, her daughter probably would have been fine on her own, but she preferred having a companion.

I think as long as the dynamics between the girls is friendly and co-operative, and the girls are content with being left like this, it sounds absolutely fine.

Some 12yo can be a nightmare and potentially put a 15yo im a difficult position, or leave them to deal with something they do not have the authority or tools to cope with, but that doesn't sound like the case here.

What a wanker your EX is. Men like that make me sick. So he disappeared and then accuses you of neglect, the pure cheek of him. I wouldn’t even entertain his stupid allegations. You did absolutely nothing wrong.

yes this. You danced to his tune, because you have clearly had years of abuse and that is your default setting. You can;t see the wood for the trees.

I actually think it was probably not an over reaction to self refer- now SS have a clear idea that any communications that come from him to them are probably malicious.

I hear the Freedom programme is very good. I am so sorry you have had to deal with this.

Needless to say, your ex is a twat. From your updates, the only thing you've done which could be considered remotely wrong is asking the 15 year old to forego a paid shift to "babysit" a pair of secondary school age children in the afternoon! They're old enough to be doing actual babysitting themselves.

Your ex inflicts trauma on you from afar, still...I'm sorry you have to deal with that scumbag. As others are saying you've done nothing wrong.

Well, on the face of it you do not sound neglectful, but I am curious what the ex would have to say about it.

Many years ago we left our then 6 month old to go out with a recommended 14 year old & my then 6 year old.

Baby needless to say spread his stomach contents around the room.

6 year old got everything while the babysitter cleaned up the mess.

By the time we got back order was restored

The saga is a bit more complex than that but...........

I used to babysit next doors kids at about 14/15 but I suppose they were heading towards 10 & my mother was next door if it went pear shaped

12 year olds with no additional needs are fine to be left alone for a few hours with no babysitter. A 15 year old should be perfectly capable of cooking basic meals independently.

The lack of independence given to young people is shocking.