Need a hand hold - never again letting my DD have a party again!

What an absolute nightmare. I'd be tempted to ask her to move out over that.

The damage is a disgrace and she should absolutely pay but the thing that struck me is that she hadn’t even bothered to clean up the sick, tried to get out the stains, changed the sheets etc! Utterly disgusting and so disrespectful!

As said op. She has shown utter contempt for your home

Add up all damage. Dd gets a loan and pays for it

100% your daughter has lost privileges. At 26? For God sakes, it sounds like she's 6 or 16 but okay. I mean this really doesn't even sound like a conversation you should be having. She's been a legal adult for how long and is acting like "chill Mom it's no big deal, the door is hanging off the hinges, there's puke and wine everywhere, the hot tubs busted the TVs smashed, but you know, it's all good."

Don't know your daughter situation aside from the fact that she's living at home but I'm thinking she's going to be paying for all of this. And I'm serious. You get the burn mark fixed by bringing someone in who specializes in repairing carpet. You get the countertop fixed, you get someone in to clean the puke and the red wine if it can be cleaned, or, your daughter can do it herself in fact that's even better, you got someone in to fix the hot tub, you get your daughter to totally clean the hot tub, and she's going to pay for all the repairs as well as the broken tv. I don't care if she goes to school I don't care if she works I don't care if she's saving for the future, doesn't matter. This is her responsibility, her fault, and she's going to learn from this.

If I were you I'd be extremely mad extremely disappointed and feeling extremely gutted. But it's not going to happen again, she's not going to get the opportunity for it to happen again. And hopefully after she pays for all those damages which should be substantial, she won't be so Keen to let something like this happen again. She's lucky that it was just at her parents house and not somewhere else where there might be police charges involved.

I was going to suggest that she pays for a hotel foe you while she cleans up the sick. Disgusting behaviour

God how embarrassing. She needs to sort that out pdq, leaving the vomit for you and someone has been using your bedroom. Oh no, that’s so bad and really quite unusual.

I hope she has organised professional cleaners to do what they can to put thinks right and that she has the money or a loan in place to pay for all the damage and replacement items. She is going to be paying for this for a considerable period of time.

Time to have a conversation with her about leaving home - at 26, well overdue. DT’s are that age, have been living independently since leaving Uni.

Yes, she needs to pay for the damage. She also needs to get herself better friends and learn to control her drinking. Because unless she really is a wrong 'un, i doubt she would have 'allowed' this to happen. She lost control of herself through drink/drugs to the point she didn't realise it was happening or couldn't stop it. And not one person who she calls 'friend' did either. For a 26 year old woman, that's not a great picture. I'd be talking to her about that as well.

I'm furious on your behalf OP. I would make her pay, and also tell her she's moving out within the next 6 months. Disgraceful for someone of her age.

That is really out of order and disrespectful. She needs to pay for all damages and all cleaning costs. My 18/19 year old sons had parties when we were away. The most we would find would be the odd empty orange juice cartoon behind the sofa and the recycling bin full to overflowing!

Does she have a car or anything else of value? I’d insist she sells it to cover the damage and I’d return any expensive Christmas presents to get a refund. Above all, I’d be insisting she moves out in the New Year.

@MyFairGreenTurtle a hotel for the night seems a good idea. Do you think she could have been spiked? Sounds like it was a pretty dangerous.

I'd be absolutely livid! 26 years old and allowing your parents home to be trashed is just awful. Not only would she be paying for every bit of the damage down to the last pound, she'd be cleaning the house top to bottom (or paying for a professional deep clean) and potentially looking for somewhere else to live depending on how genuinely remorseful she was. What an absolute piss take.

My 17 year old wouldn’t treat my house like this. He’s had house parties in the past and always cleaned up perfectly/left zero damage. If he was 26 and I came back to this he’d be kicked out

She definitely has to pay for every single penny of the damage. So sorry you had to experience this.

Shocking disrespectful behaviour. I hope she made an effort to clean up or did she just leave it all till you came home.
I would make her pay and ban any friends. Does she have an issue with how she handles alcohol?

I've no hesitation at all in saying that not only does she pay for the damage, but she organises the work, too. Not a single element of this is your responsibility.

I just thought - she’s 26 so presumably her friends are of similar age. Yet this happened because of some “MyFairGreenTurtle is out! Partyyyy!” type WhatsApp chat?

I’m 10 years older than them but surely this isn’t how people in their mid 20s behave? It’s like something out of American Pie.

Who behaves like that at 26? Incredibly disrespectful. I think it’s perhaps time for her to grow up. Charge her for every penny of damage, every single bit and make her organise all the repairs. Awful behaviour from her.

Wtf
I had parties at 18 that caused no damage
Your dd just doesnt care
Add up the cost of all the damage. Dd takes out a loan and pays for it all

This is actually worrying that she got so drunk she couldn't control who was in the house and what was happening and what about her so called friends? The whole thing is just utter disrespectful to you and your home op. Would your house insurance cover any of the damage? 💐

She’s 26?! This is the wake up call she needs. Tell her she sorts it out (and pays for it), or she moves out. No excuse at that age.

Go to town on her. She cleans and pays for everything and moves out.

You feel disrespected because you are being disrespected. I don’t know why you would even need to ask if she has to pay or if you are being unreasonable . Of course she does !!! This is why she takes no responsibility because she knows she can get away with it .