Need a hand hold - never again letting my DD have a party again!

She should be paying and sorting all the damage herself. She can call contractors, she can go shopping, she can pay for it all out of her own money.

I was quite a partying teen and young person and I moved back home in my 20s, never in a million, zillion years would I have done that. Being able to move back home was a privilege while I got on my feet in adulthood. I honestly can't imagine doing such a thing.

Is she saving for a deposit to move out? Have a look at Shared Ownership as that might be something she can afford.

Cost out all the damages. Put your child on a proper rent and make her pay you for everything damaged. Absolutely everything. Over time possibly.

God, no. Sounds hideous and I'd be utterly appalled to see someone's home being trashed like that.

Why isn’t she living in a house share with her pals?? She’s TWENTY SIX and earning money. She should be living it up with pals, roughing it a bit but having lots of fun. The nice house and home comforts can come later down the line when she’s older if she wants them.

You can change your vote by just clicking on not unreasonable and the tick ✔️ will change places.

I have a feeling we're reading the words of an extremely well-off family, with a 26 year old brat child who has never worked a serious day in her life and sniffs hundreds up her nose every weekend with her trust-fund pals.
OP, at 26 I was living at home with my extremely hard working, middle class parents following a breakup. I never, ever would have contemplated behaving like this, and if I even came close, they would have buried me alive.
This is insane behaviour from a grown woman, and if my initial assumption about your situation is completely off base - if you are a "normal" family with a "normal" income, then she's utterly taking you for a fool.
If you are rung below aristocracy then this is about right.

26!!! Jesus we had loads of house parties at my friends house when we were 15-16 as they went away about 4 times a year....booze, weed, probably other stuff but I just stuck to bongs made out of coke bottles 🤣 loads and I mean LOADS of people.

Parents never had a clue, they always thought she was staying at mine or a few of us staying with her. Even though they were wild everyone was respectful of the house and people would always help with a full on coordinated clean up the day after. Last time a few of us saw her parents we owned up and they genuinely had no idea, threatened to tell our parents and grounded her. We were about 36 yesrs old 😂

I cant believe shes 26 thats ridiculous. Gonna be expensive for her to sort!!

I lived at home at 26 with a full time job and paid minimal rent as I was saving up for a mortgage. I don't think it's unusual, many of my friends were in the same boat.

The thing was I wasn't a disrespectful, entitled, arsehole. The problem seems to be the OP still acting like a teenager and her parents bailing her out for her behaviour.

If she is in gainful employment why is she living with you? At 26? What are her plans for the future? I would ask her to leave. She has ruined your (what sounds like) beautiful home. I can’t believe that she didn’t clear up some of the disgusting mess before you could see it.

She sounds really awful. I think I would need to see receipts from this “consultancy”. If someone is online all day and night you have no idea what she is doing. And most adults who invite friends to a party via group chat would not have people on there who would behave this way. Something is off with her - drugs, or alcohol misuse.

Apart from the initial clean up. I would ask yourself why your daughter is so emotionally immature.
I would start with some honesty or wanting some about the nature of her work and her earnings. Is there any substance to her 'consultancy' ?

If I'd pulled this stunt when I was 21, my parents would have probably re-seeded the garden too but only after they'd buried me under it....

What lesson did your daughter learn after this? Why do you keep infantalising and enabling her? She's 26 with a job and an income and this whole mess is her responsibility. She shouldn't be "helping" with anything. She should be organising and paying for all and any repairs.

A few posters have said that @MyFairGreenTurtle should have charged her DD more for rent.
I know loads of parents who charge their adult DC minimal rent so that they can save for a deposit - this is normal.
What's not normal is the selfish and entitled behaviour of the DD. She absolutely needs to pay for all the damage and move out if she wants her friends coming over.

If I was OP I would definitely be banning her DD's friends coming over - she has consistently shown you that she is not capable of acting like a grown up

If she’s paying tinpot rent and earning consultancy fees OP she’ll have plenty of disposable income to pay the damages. Simple!

Chuck her out, give her a timetable, tell her she has to find a place to crash with one of her many friends OR she pays the full amount of damage from her salary, one of the other.

She's a spoilt brat.

Well, of course she pays for every single repair - it sounds like it'll be in the thousands.
Sometimes the only way you can get through to people this dumb is to hit them where it really hurts - their bank account.

And then, in all seriousness, she starts looking for her own place to live. 26 is too old to still be living with mummy and daddy and paying a nominal rent, all the while having a full time job.

OP, the perception is that your daughter is taking you for a fool.
She doesn't have a serious job - which is putting it mildly.
IF she wants to continue living at your house, she needs to pay a proper rent..... both for her personal accommodation AND for the fact that she is (seemingly) using it as business premises.
I would be requesting a copy of her last accounts and, if she says she doesn't have any, then I'd be reminding her that HMRC will be onto her for non-compliance.
Obviously, she needs to pay for all the damage.
And regardless of all the above, I would be giving her 3 months notice to move out and get her own place.

Of course she pays for all the damage. No question

Her friends or the people who turned up were also very immature.

I agree, it reads exactly like the house parties I went to when I was 16.

I still lived at home at 26 but there's no way in a million years I'd have treated my parents house like this and furthermore if I had, my parents certainly wouldn't have bailed me out. Why aren't you making your daughter take responsibility OP?

She has a party she didn't do or expect this damage ?

Bloody hell. Cost up the damages and show her the amount.
Also, tell her to move out and she can have all the parties she wants….
At 26 she is more than old enough to be responsible for her actions.
you have kept her a baby and she is acting like one. She knows she can can shed a tear and say sorry and then skip off to do whatever she wants with no real consequences

In a nutshell. Age is 26. Emotional maturity is 14.

That would never be happening again. DD wouldn’t be allowed friends round and if she wasn’t happy with that, she could move out.

This whole situation is a result of her having no boundaries, consequences and being enabled. I would be devastated too OP but by letting her get away with "hoovering" and "helping to source a quote" you're doing her no favours.

If she works and pays little rent, she should have more than enough money to cover the damage. It's about her feeling the consequences of her actions. Don't be a mug.