Page 3 | To be told to put in £20 to cover presents for team leads

Hettiejane · 2025-12-13T21:18:12+00:00

So I work in a large team, I've been emailed along with the rest of my team by one of my colleagues to put in £20 each to cover a gift for our 2 seniors, their manager and and the reception staff. We've had our office night out with no money paid towards it and no gifts from senior management. The seniors and their manager are on significant more money than the rest of us and tbh I've had some issues with one of the receptionists being quite rude to me. AIBU to think its a bit much to ask for? There's about 15 or so in the team.

luckylavender · 14/12/2025 08:18

I would refuse but do it publicly because other people may feel the same as you

DisforDarkChocolate · 14/12/2025 07:37

Presents go downwards not upwards.

TappyGilmore · 14/12/2025 07:34

YANBU. There are two issues here:

First someone just taking it upon themselves to organise this and “directing” everyone to pay a particular amount.

Second, even if people generally were in agreement with getting a gift, the actual amount being requested is too much, not just because some people might not be able to afford it, but when you consider what the total is if everyone did put that in, you’d end up with way more than really necessary.

I’ve come across this twice recently, once at work and once at a club that I’m part of. It’s just so awkward to have to say something after someone has sent out the email organising it but really, why should you feel awkward? It is the organiser who has behaved inappropriately.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 14/12/2025 07:24

I'd have a problem with this, too @Hettiejane

MoondustandFairies · 14/12/2025 01:22

I used to work in a large supermarket & our then bosses had frequent overseas holidays & a few local ones too like spa/yoga retreats.

They worked hard & I didnt begrudge them the time away - but each Christmas time I worked there the staff were encouraged to chip in for gifts for them & other senior level managers.
And again earlier this year when the bosses decided to sell up & move on.

No, a big FAT No!!

Our pay scales were entirely/vastly different & while they also had a much higher responsibility to the workplace than I did it still didnt justify sharing some of my minimum wage pay packet with them.

MooDengOfThailand · 14/12/2025 00:01

Your workplace sounds very feudal.

No way would I be happy about this and shame on the senior higher paid management for not putting a stop to it.

sunflowersblooming · 13/12/2025 23:31

I wouldn’t pay at all! My husband is public sector senior management - he pays (personally) for at least one round of drinks at the party (that isn’t funded by the employer)- he’d be mortified if anyone felt they had to contribute for a gift for him!

Christmasjummy · 13/12/2025 23:26

Grow a pair or borrow mine. Buy gifts for the cleaners, present them in full view then tell the collector you’ve acted on your decision and won’t discuss it further.

JudgeJ · 13/12/2025 23:17

Hettiejane · 13/12/2025 21:35

Glad everyone is in agreement thought I was going mad!
Now dont know how to handle it in the office, one staff member seems to take responsibility for these things and will chase us up for money and write down people's names who have paid on the envelope, its ridiculous

I would imagine that if you speak up against this potty idea, others will agree with you.

FunMum2019 · 13/12/2025 23:13

Hettiejane · 13/12/2025 23:12

This is great, I wish i could send this round anonymously

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Put your name on it! No one can argue with it

Original poster

Hettiejane · 13/12/2025 23:12

FunMum2019 · 13/12/2025 23:06

‘Thanks for organising this! Given the cost of living issues these days, would people consider redirecting this to the cleaning/maintenance staff? As there are no staff gifts this year, and we self-funded the Christmas night out, I worry it might look like we’re trying to embarrass senior staff with these gifts. The cleaning crew are so undervalued, I think this could be much appreciated. Would love to hear your thoughts!’

This is great, I wish i could send this round anonymously

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FunMum2019 · 13/12/2025 23:06

‘Thanks for organising this! Given the cost of living issues these days, would people consider redirecting this to the cleaning/maintenance staff? As there are no staff gifts this year, and we self-funded the Christmas night out, I worry it might look like we’re trying to embarrass senior staff with these gifts. The cleaning crew are so undervalued, I think this could be much appreciated. Would love to hear your thoughts!’

Carbaddict · 13/12/2025 23:05

Never heard of anything so ridiculous in my life! Completely common practice for managers to send gifts down the chain. The management team i am in have put a chunk of money to subsidise the Xmas dinners of those on lower grades. This has been decided because some staff dont drink so buying the usual round at the dinner isnt equal.

Why on earth havent these managers made clear this shouldn't be happening.

Original poster

Hettiejane · 13/12/2025 23:02

Delphiniumandlupins · 13/12/2025 22:53

How about "I'm not contributing to this because I don't feel it is reasonable to only reward certain team members when we have all been working to the best of our abilities. I think senior colleagues would be embarrassed to have less well-paid staff buying gifts for them. Surely a heartfelt message on a personal card would mean more?"

I wish i had the balls to say this!

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clarrylove · 13/12/2025 22:56

Gift down, not up.

Delphiniumandlupins · 13/12/2025 22:53

How about "I'm not contributing to this because I don't feel it is reasonable to only reward certain team members when we have all been working to the best of our abilities. I think senior colleagues would be embarrassed to have less well-paid staff buying gifts for them. Surely a heartfelt message on a personal card would mean more?"

Original poster

Hettiejane · 13/12/2025 22:53

Christmasjummy · 13/12/2025 22:50

In that case tell them you have given them the money, they must have forgotten and lost it which is why your name isn’t on the envelope. I remember someone doing this and getting away with it. Or keep promising to do it but never have any means to pay when asked. Persistent and hard faced aren’t they?

Yeah that had been my plan, though one time someone offered to put in money in a collection for the ppl who were off then asked for it when they can back!

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usedtobeaylis · 13/12/2025 22:52

Absolutely not. I would try and give a bit more to the collection for the cleaners on a point of principle after that.

LilyBunch25 · 13/12/2025 22:51

Not a chance!

SpinningaCompass · 13/12/2025 22:50

Just decline to participate.

More people need to do this.

Christmasjummy · 13/12/2025 22:50

In that case tell them you have given them the money, they must have forgotten and lost it which is why your name isn’t on the envelope. I remember someone doing this and getting away with it. Or keep promising to do it but never have any means to pay when asked. Persistent and hard faced aren’t they?

ExperiencedContractor · 13/12/2025 22:45

My default reply for this sort of thing is

”Christmas is an expensive time of year, I only buy gifts for my immediate family.”

Original poster

Hettiejane · 13/12/2025 22:43

Christmasjummy · 13/12/2025 22:41

Tell them £20 is a fair amount, your absolute maximum in the current climate, that you’ve spent it on the cleaners as they in your opinion are deserving and should be recognised. It indicates you’re prepared to donate, appreciative and cannot be pushed in the direction they stipulate.

I have no doubt a secondary collection will go out for the cleaners once we've paid into this one!

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Christmasjummy · 13/12/2025 22:41

Tell them £20 is a fair amount, your absolute maximum in the current climate, that you’ve spent it on the cleaners as they in your opinion are deserving and should be recognised. It indicates you’re prepared to donate, appreciative and cannot be pushed in the direction they stipulate.

Original poster

Hettiejane · 13/12/2025 22:39

Neverflyingagain · 13/12/2025 22:35

I was also public sector and agreed that the lowest paid folks who keep the place running should get gifts but probably don't.
What happens if a grateful patient brings in a box of chocolates or biscuits for your break room? Surely that's okay?
You need to hold firm on your position over this. It should be voluntary, so the whole writing names on envelopes, chasing people up, could be seen as harassment.

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Yes under £10 gift is generally ok (not cash or vouchers) but needs to be declared and shared.
They actually sent an email with the policy on it a few weeks ago, just so ironic to think they are going to happily accept £50

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