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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be told to put in £20 to cover presents for team leads

113 replies

Hettiejane · 13/12/2025 21:18

So I work in a large team, I've been emailed along with the rest of my team by one of my colleagues to put in £20 each to cover a gift for our 2 seniors, their manager and and the reception staff.
We've had our office night out with no money paid towards it and no gifts from senior management. The seniors and their manager are on significant more money than the rest of us and tbh I've had some issues with one of the receptionists being quite rude to me.
AIBU to think its a bit much to ask for? There's about 15 or so in the team.

OP posts:
ILoveMyCaravan · 14/12/2025 19:58

Hettiejane · 13/12/2025 21:45

I can paraphrase it,
Basically one member said the managers have been working hard to support us this year and we should show our thanks, they have said to cover all the people we need to put in £20 each.
Last year I can't remember what we did, likely everyone gave into separate collections for reception and the managers, dont think we collected for the senior management though

Show quote history

Working hard?? Because that’s what they are PAID to do!! Just as you and everyone else is on the team.

I wouldn’t ignore it as it sounds like you will be pestered for the money.

I’d reply and say it’s a deeply inappropriate thing to do. One, because of the cost of living crisis and two, no one is allowed to accept gifts of more than £10 as it’s against policy. I’d even cc HR in to it.

PigeonsandSquirrels · 14/12/2025 19:53

Email back and say that gifting up isn’t the commonly done thing anymore…

ForPlumReader · 14/12/2025 19:44

The only person I contribute to a gift for is the cleaner. I don't particularly like it when our senior staff buy us gifts, but there's no way staff should be buying gifts for people senior to them.

Starocean · 14/12/2025 19:40

A gift should be given, not extracted.

RollOnSunshine · 14/12/2025 19:35

Not a chance in hell I would donate.
I go to work to earn money not spend it!

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 14/12/2025 19:15

Nah ... putting in for cleaning staff, folk on minimum wage is far better

dynamiccactus · 14/12/2025 19:02

Hettiejane · 13/12/2025 21:35

Glad everyone is in agreement thought I was going mad!
Now dont know how to handle it in the office, one staff member seems to take responsibility for these things and will chase us up for money and write down people's names who have paid on the envelope, its ridiculous

Just ignore the reminders. Nobody cares. We recently did a collection at work for someone going on maternity leave which I was charged with organising and I was surprised how few people did contribute. They'll try to make out you are the only one not contributing but it won't be true by a long way.

Newyearawaits · 14/12/2025 18:59

Brefugee · 13/12/2025 21:28

say no. Or ignore.

Or make a counter proposal for a fiver each for the cleaning staff?

This
Be 100pc comfortable in saying no to suggestion of 20 pounds for team leaders, totally ludicrous

ElfieOnTheShelfie · 14/12/2025 18:59

Id wait until chased and keep prevaricating. If pushed say “I’m grateful for our managers’ support, but it is literally their job to support and manage us. I will of course sign or send Christmas cards, but I think the gift-giving is a bit over the top.”

CaramelChips · 14/12/2025 18:55

I don't pay for anything work related at all. It's my pay, I earn it and decide how I spend it. No company can demand you give them your take home pay. Especially not to buy things for staff who earn more than you do.

PomPomSugar · 14/12/2025 18:51

It was always a rule in my office to not ‘gift up’

HelplessSoul · 14/12/2025 18:32

Pedallleur · 14/12/2025 18:13

I think I'd leave the F word out but absolutely the rest and ask if they would like it in an email as well! Do it in full view of everyone so you are not singled out. Wish I was there to do it for you

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Sometimes a little bit of invective is needed.

And this CF scenario definitely warrants it! A LOT!

Try2makeadifference · 14/12/2025 18:26

Tell them Martin say noooooo!
“Martin Lewis strongly advocates for banning unnecessary Christmas presents, especially for extended family and friends, to reduce debt, stress, and wasteful spending, suggesting the best gift is lifting the obligation.”

Pedallleur · 14/12/2025 18:13

HelplessSoul · 14/12/2025 09:42

I'd tell that organiser to their face to FUCK right off and that you werent paying.

No need to give a reason.

The organiser/s are cunts.

Do not engage and ignore.

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I think I'd leave the F word out but absolutely the rest and ask if they would like it in an email as well! Do it in full view of everyone so you are not singled out. Wish I was there to do it for you

FlipFlopVibe · 14/12/2025 18:13

AppropriateAdult · 13/12/2025 21:47

In a workplace gifts should flow downwards, not up. YANBU.

Absolutely this, it flows in a way you are giving thanks for service. Unless they went way above and beyond for all of you or paid out their own pockets for the Christmas Do then no, they don’t need (deserve?) anything from their staff

RitaIncognita · 14/12/2025 18:08

AppropriateAdult · 13/12/2025 21:47

In a workplace gifts should flow downwards, not up. YANBU.

Absolutely. In my long and varied career, I have never worked in a place where we were expected to give to people up the chain.

Laura95167 · 14/12/2025 18:02

Id file that email in the recycle bin and proceed with my day

YourEagerFox · 14/12/2025 17:55

Tell them you can’t afford to contribute.

wrongthinker · 14/12/2025 10:12

Hettiejane · 13/12/2025 23:12

This is great, I wish i could send this round anonymously

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Put your name on it! It's a great message.

TheeNotoriousPIG · 14/12/2025 10:01

I would also be saying no! In my humble opinion, management are usually overworked and underpaid in comparison to the rest of us mere mortals 😠(I have had a run-in with management this week, so am still angry).

Mind you, I'm only signing my manager's leaving card (if ever he goes...) if I can write 'So long, motherf***' in it (in his language, just to make a point).

HelplessSoul · 14/12/2025 09:42

Hettiejane · 13/12/2025 21:35

Glad everyone is in agreement thought I was going mad!
Now dont know how to handle it in the office, one staff member seems to take responsibility for these things and will chase us up for money and write down people's names who have paid on the envelope, its ridiculous

I'd tell that organiser to their face to FUCK right off and that you werent paying.

No need to give a reason.

The organiser/s are cunts.

Do not engage and ignore.

Brefugee · 14/12/2025 09:03

Hettiejane · 13/12/2025 21:35

Glad everyone is in agreement thought I was going mad!
Now dont know how to handle it in the office, one staff member seems to take responsibility for these things and will chase us up for money and write down people's names who have paid on the envelope, its ridiculous

do you feel able to stand firm. And then take the instigator and/or collector aside and say that 20 quid can be a lot of money, and people may not feel comfortable giving 2 days worth of meals for a family for a present for someone.

sending good vibes. I have been that person to say "no" and it is VERY uncomfortable.

Dearg · 14/12/2025 08:51

That’s so not on. The person organising needs to understand that harassing staff to give money in this way is totally inappropriate.

Is there an HR person you can talk to about this ? Or let me guess, HR is the person doing the organising ?

Zanatdy · 14/12/2025 08:39

I’d be mortified if my team were told to contribute towards a gift for me.

somethingspider · 14/12/2025 08:22

Reply all, “Hi, I’m sorry money is tight so I am unable to contribute”

I guarantee others will follow suit.

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