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AIBU?

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Original poster

£5,200 a month in this situation…

103 replies

IneVan · 13/12/2025 20:53

Is absolutely on any analysis at all, NOT a problem.

Single parent, 3 year old who has 30 hours free now.

Am I losing it or is this MORE than ample to live off and live off pretty nicely??!

OP posts:
chickenfucker · 13/12/2025 21:30

Depends how much her mortgage is and if she's paying for childcare too she may not have much left over.

roshi42 · 13/12/2025 21:23

I would remember that she’ll be paying close to a grand a month more in tax than you both combined for that household income because it’s on only one salary and is in the higher tax band. And she won’t qualify for child benefit.

My child gets 30 hours ‘free’ but a full time nursery place including that is still £1,200 a month. Mortgage about the same. You can see how a decent salary disappears quite quickly.

But yeah… that’s not a poverty wage, for sure! It might feel tight-ish during the nursery years -especially if she’s putting a lot into paying off her mortgage and potentially pension - but she’ll be really pretty well off once the child’s at school - especially if she really does pay off the mortgage!! She’d be genuinely quite rich then!

Oldandgreyer · 13/12/2025 21:19

IneVan · 13/12/2025 21:11

@Run30 i don’t know her mortgage repayments but she’s aiming to have it cleared by 45 (currently 39)

She might,. You're helping.

JaninaDuszejko · 13/12/2025 21:16

What benefits do you get vs what benefits she gets? How much tax do you pay vs how much she pays? Do you work FT? Do you have family help (financial or in time)? How much do you and she put in your pensions and how much do your employers? What are your relative housing costs? What are your relative childcare costs? I can well believe that as a single parent on a high wage she still feels like there's not much slack.

Glitchymn1 · 13/12/2025 21:15

She’s taken you for a ride, I’d be annoyed!

Solentsolo · 13/12/2025 21:13

Solentsolo · 13/12/2025 21:11

So she’s not getting 30 hours free childcare then!

Show quote history

Actually she might be.

gruffaloaddict · 13/12/2025 21:12

Too many unknowns to judge. For me, I’d be laughing with that wage!!! And can only dream! For my friend, her mortgage alone is £3000, her nursery fees (with the funded hours) are around £1000, so she would likely struggle.

Solentsolo · 13/12/2025 21:11

IneVan · 13/12/2025 21:10

@TiredofLDN @Run30 it’s take home

So she’s not getting 30 hours free childcare then!

Original poster
IneVan · 13/12/2025 21:11

@Run30 i don’t know her mortgage repayments but she’s aiming to have it cleared by 45 (currently 39)

OP posts:
Original poster
IneVan · 13/12/2025 21:10

@TiredofLDN @Run30 it’s take home

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 13/12/2025 21:10

Assume that includes her rent, is she in an expensive area?

Run30 · 13/12/2025 21:09

Is this £5200 net pcm?
What is this person’s mortgage payment?
And other unavoidable outgoings?

TiredofLDN · 13/12/2025 21:08

Before or after tax? Because I earn a bit more than that before tax, and am also a single parent of one child, and let me tell you- it doesn’t go far.

Life is not half as expensive, because you are half the number of people in a couple. You pay more tax (because you hit the 40% tax rate- which you wouldn’t if two people were earning half or whatever). You also hit the high income child benefit charge (or did until this year). And you end up paying a premium for stuff for convenience as a single parent, because you are time-poor (in my case very time poor), but can throw a little bit of money at the problem.

i wouldn’t plead poverty, but I don’t have spare money, and I budget every penny.

Original poster
IneVan · 13/12/2025 21:08

CucumberCool · 13/12/2025 21:07

How did you come to find out how much she's taking home every month and did you mention you were shocked at the time?

@CucumberCool she mentioned it shortly after the budget when we’d had a few drinks. I said I was really surprised and said it was more than mine and DH’s income combined.

OP posts:
CucumberCool · 13/12/2025 21:07

How did you come to find out how much she's taking home every month and did you mention you were shocked at the time?

Original poster
IneVan · 13/12/2025 21:05

readingisallowed · 13/12/2025 21:04

Well now you know stop paying for their drinks, food etc.
They are seeing you coming.
It doesn't matter if they are a single parent they are treating you like a bank.

@readingisallowed well it’s too late. Been doing it for the last 3 years. She’s not so much as given me a gift on my birthday or Christmas, she actually has said she can’t afford it being on her own with the DD. I can’t get over the cheek of it.

OP posts:
readingisallowed · 13/12/2025 21:04

Well now you know stop paying for their drinks, food etc.
They are seeing you coming.
It doesn't matter if they are a single parent they are treating you like a bank.

Original poster
IneVan · 13/12/2025 21:04

@Pavementworrier she works but has always pleaded poverty

OP posts:
TheToteBagLady · 13/12/2025 21:04

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Solentsolo · 13/12/2025 21:04

IneVan · 13/12/2025 21:01

@BeenThereBackThen it’s after tax.

@SaltyCara its my ‘friend.’ I had no idea she earned so much and has always pleaded poverty, so much so that DH and I have bought every drink, lunch, dinner (and I see her once a month at least!). Me and DH combined take home 4700 and have two dc (not in nursery but they still cost us for wraparound etc!)

are you sure she gets the free hours on that salary as if that’s what she gets after tax she won’t. She won’t get child benefit either, which I presume you might.

Pavementworrier · 13/12/2025 21:02

If your income is from full time work, it's going to be challenging getting childcare to support you to keep it coming in

If your income is from benefits the child presumably has very challenging health problems (or you do).

Original poster
IneVan · 13/12/2025 21:02

spindrifft · 13/12/2025 21:01

The 3yo

Show quote history

@spindrifft 😃

OP posts:
Original poster
IneVan · 13/12/2025 21:01

@BeenThereBackThen it’s after tax.

@SaltyCara its my ‘friend.’ I had no idea she earned so much and has always pleaded poverty, so much so that DH and I have bought every drink, lunch, dinner (and I see her once a month at least!). Me and DH combined take home 4700 and have two dc (not in nursery but they still cost us for wraparound etc!)

OP posts:
spindrifft · 13/12/2025 21:01

SaltyCara · 13/12/2025 20:57

Which person are you in this scenario?

The 3yo

BeenThereBackThen · 13/12/2025 20:58

is that before or after tax?

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