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Original poster

Man slapping child

80 replies

Yorks2Lancs7 · 13/12/2025 20:09

I am going to preface this by saying I do not have children. But I grew up in a not pleasant household.

tonight I was having a drink with my partner at a train station pub, I saw a man slap his child round the face (probably 5 years old) I spoke out, the mother said ‘he didn’t slap her on the FACE’ I said he did, I saw it, you are a terrible mother. She then came towards me to try and fight me but I went in the bar. I told my partner and although he was proud of me he told me given current aggression in the UK I should stay out of it. WWYD?

OP posts:
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Buttons0522 · 17/12/2025 09:14

MoodyMargaret11 · 13/12/2025 21:58

I will also add that child abuse like slapping is still fairly normalized in some cultures, hence the parents feeling comfortable to do it in public.

This. Sadly within some communities it is totally normalised. We need to call it out for what it is, abuse. Maybe a stranger calling it out in public might just make some abusers realise it’s not ok. Maybe it will enable a child to realise it’s not ok, and feel safe enough to take that information to their teachers who can help.

LizzieW1969 · 17/12/2025 08:48

wfhwfh · 17/12/2025 00:23

I agree with this. A mother (or father) standing by and allowing their child to be abused IS an abuser. They may be a victim themselves - the two are not mutually exclusive - but they are primarily a perpetrator.

The priority should always be protecting children. Not shielding adults from the consequences of their own actions and decisions.

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^I agree with this. My DM has said consistently that my F smacked my siblings and me ‘too hard’ (she now admits that she was wrong too, they shouldn’t have smacked us at all), but she never stood up to him. She says she stopped him eventually, but if she did she let it go on for far too long. She was often there when he did it too.

I don’t hold against her the CSA that he was guilty of (on both my DSis and me), because she didn’t know about it, but she was certainly as guilty as he was where the physical abuse was concerned.

wfhwfh · 17/12/2025 00:23

Joeylove88 · 13/12/2025 22:00

I know that many people's situations can be really complicated with abusive partners but I have never been able to understand how any mother (or father if vice versa) could honestly just watch their child get hurt physically or emotionally by the father and not immediately leave as soon as was safe to do so. My friend suffered DA from her partner for quite a while (unbeknown to anyone else) she stayed hoping he would eventually stop but the moment he directed abuse at one of their children she absolutely left with both kids and went straight to a women's refuge. This is also bearing in mind that she was living outside of the UK so needed to take it to court for permission to leave and come back home with her children so it was a nightmare situation for a while but none of this stopped her from leaving because she point blank refused to put her children at the brunt of any abuse. Well done for speaking up. Its a shame that mother clearly wont be leaving that vile man and protecting her child

I agree with this. A mother (or father) standing by and allowing their child to be abused IS an abuser. They may be a victim themselves - the two are not mutually exclusive - but they are primarily a perpetrator.

The priority should always be protecting children. Not shielding adults from the consequences of their own actions and decisions.

Copperoliverbear · 16/12/2025 23:32

report it, it could be on cctv that poor child deserves a better life.

GrinchiestGrinch · 16/12/2025 23:06

MoodyMargaret11 · 15/12/2025 01:37

I'm not rationalizing it at all, just trying to explain WHY some people seem comfortable abusing their kids in public.
England has many immigrants from many cultures and countries... as I'm sure you know.

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What on earth? Is there a reason you are bringing immigrants into this? When corporal punishment is still legal in England and obviously still carried out by some English people why are you talking about immigrants? God knows we get blamed for enough shit that's not our fault.

Op you did the right thing. If nothing else I hope at least you have shown to both mother and child that this is not normal and accepted behaviour. And if it is a cultural issue as pp has claimed (rather than some men just being sick bastards) then maybe there is a sliver of hope of him seeing that abuse of children is not part of every culture.

wfhwfh · 16/12/2025 22:46

I think you were very courageous to speak up and it was absolutely the right thing to do.

For those saying it probably means the mother will get given a hard time by the father - the mother is an adult who can make her own choices. Maybe it will cause her to pause and think about the abuse she is exposing her child to.

The child has no choice or intervening. But, by intervening, you made the child realise they are not alone and people do care.

I would report this to the police as well. Men like that need locked up.

Ive intervened in situations like this but i am terrified and often get emotional because of the mixture of disgust and fear and anger. It sounds like you handled it so much better.

Bobiverse · 16/12/2025 21:51

Yorks2Lancs7 · 13/12/2025 22:08

I wouldn’t say it is at all in England? Weird that you would rationalise this..

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In England, you’re allowed to hit your kids as long as you don’t leave a bruise though? I thought.
Here in Scotland, you can’t hit your kid at all.

Glindaa · 16/12/2025 21:50

ThatOpenTraybake · 15/12/2025 08:23

You'd have followed them to their home?

Well that would be stupid.

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I don’t think so at all

Glindaa · 16/12/2025 21:47

Yorks2Lancs7 · 13/12/2025 22:08

I wouldn’t say it is at all in England? Weird that you would rationalise this..

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It was 35 years ago or so I think ?
maybe not now

Kibble19 · 16/12/2025 21:40

ktopfwcv · 15/12/2025 05:55

Only a victim if they fit a certain stereotype? Gotcha.

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because women can’t possibly just be cunts, can they?

sleepyjessie · 15/12/2025 08:26

MeridianB · 15/12/2025 08:20

You did the right thing. I would have stepped in, too, and have done the same several times.

But she hasn’t. Her stepping in didn’t stop anything, it likely just made things worse for the woman and child. She didn’t actually attempt to report it.

ThatOpenTraybake · 15/12/2025 08:23

mrssunshinexxx · 13/12/2025 20:21

I would of followed them to address and called the police and SS to report,
VILE

You'd have followed them to their home?

Well that would be stupid.

MeridianB · 15/12/2025 08:20

You did the right thing. I would have stepped in, too, and have done the same several times.

sleepyjessie · 15/12/2025 07:58

Besides speaking out at the time, and then running away and telling your partner, did you actually do anything? Did you make a note of the time, the platform and where it was, in order to report it?

SuePlarr · 15/12/2025 07:54

OP many thanks to you and all the other posters who have intervened in similar situations. Believe me, it does make a difference to the child….. just knowing that someone bothered.

The kindness of strangers is never forgotten.

ktopfwcv · 15/12/2025 05:55

Kibble19 · 13/12/2025 21:37

And the assumption is always that she’s also a victim. In this case, it seems like she had no issue squaring up to the OP. Hardly the cowering victim.

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Only a victim if they fit a certain stereotype? Gotcha.

DidIJustHearWhatIThinkYouSaid · 15/12/2025 02:57

I think it was rhetorical…

GaIadriel · 15/12/2025 01:46

Kibble19 · 13/12/2025 20:22

I wouldn’t have stayed quiet either. People will always give it “you just put the mother in danger tonight” but what alternative does someone have? Avert their eyes and pretend they didn’t see?

Call the police, the pub will have CCTV and can track them down.

You answered your own question. 🤣

MoodyMargaret11 · 15/12/2025 01:37

Yorks2Lancs7 · 13/12/2025 22:08

I wouldn’t say it is at all in England? Weird that you would rationalise this..

Show quote history

I'm not rationalizing it at all, just trying to explain WHY some people seem comfortable abusing their kids in public.
England has many immigrants from many cultures and countries... as I'm sure you know.

MoodyMargaret11 · 15/12/2025 01:32

Gardener82 · 13/12/2025 22:01

Yeah we all marched down the road together until the police arrived! The slap happened in a Tescos carpark so im
guessing the police collected cctv?
I don’t know what happened after, I never heard anything.
I reported it to social services too. It was a terrible thing to witness, the baby was probably about 6 months old and she slapped her so hard. I really hope she is somewhere safe now.

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You've done absolutely everything you could. Even if you dont know what happened, you triggered a response from both police and SS. Given the baby was so young and couldnt talk, you may have very well saved them from terrible future.

Harold99 · 14/12/2025 20:47

If at a train station, then it's surely caught on CCTV. Get that chased and charged

CinnamonBuns67 · 14/12/2025 16:50

I'd have rung the police and SS, well done OP for standing up for this little boy and I do hope you reported it yesterday and they are able to find them and get this little boy to safety.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 14/12/2025 16:44

I would have alerted the pub to call the police rather than confronting the assailant myself

Fransgran · 14/12/2025 15:57

We were leaving a shopping centre. A man was approaching with a boy of about twelve when he suddenly slapped him on the ear so hard that the kid stumbled. I tried to stay calm and polite, telling the man that it was assault and he could have caused the poor boy serious injury. The man unleashed a torrent of absolutely vile, misogynistic abuse and started squaring up to me. I said if he touched me, I would call 999 immediately, whereupon the boy told me to fuck off and leave him and his dad alone. My (now ex-) husband witnessed this from a safe distance and afterwards told me I should have minded my own business. That was over thirty years ago and I remember it as vividly as if it were yesterday. I still wish to this day that I could have done something other than watch them disappear into Christmas crowds in a big shopping centre.

VikaOlson · 14/12/2025 14:47

I had a similar experience years ago with a woman trying to slap her child (who was trying to hide) - I don't know if I 'helped', I stopped the child being attacked on that occasion and I almost got battered by the aggressive woman, but I guess at least that child knew someone else could see what was happening was wrong.