Should I do all the housework because I have no job?

I would think you could probably get a lot of housework/errands done during the day but once your DP is home, he should do his bit with tidying away after meals, tidying his own stuff, making tea if he wants a cup, etc. Same at weekends. He is out of order just dumping his clothes on the floor and if I were you, I’d refuse to do any laundry for him. Gather up his clothes from the floor and toss them in a basket and leave them there.

Though he seems to have no respect for you so gave a good think about whether you really want a future with him.

If I was at home all week and my DH was working full time the I’d expect to do the majority of the housework.
However, I would not expect to be spoken to so disrespectfully and with so little love.
How long are you going to be able to not work?? Did he agree with you giving up work?

I think you need to get away from him @lulu55xxx

And you will probably find your MH improving if you do.

Can we help you make a plan?

If you weren’t working I’d be expecting you to do most of the cooking and cleaning. It’s not just about the money, it’s about parity of free time. If you’re at home all day why should he have to come home from work and start making tea? Your partner has lost respect for you. He may be anxious about paying the bills long term, or be visioning a future where he has to ‘keep’ you - nothing wrong with that but both parties need to be in enthusiastic agreement. He may be missing your work conversations or your energy and ambition. He may feel this situation is not what he signed up for when you became a couple. Did he agree with you giving up work?

That said, he is treating you very badly and you are in a vulnerable position unless you have a lot of savings.

Endometriosis aside, you said that you've been together with your partner for 5 years the first year he was great and then after that he slowly been treating you like crap, not just now and again, but pretty much all the time, and even though you are not actually physically at work you are still contributing 50/50 or maybe even a little more than 50% of the Bill's income from your savings? And because you physically aren't leaving the house, even though you're off because of medical reasons, he's decided that he will not lift a single finger to do anything for you because you do not leave the house to go to work there for even though you are contributing to the household income, you are 100% responsible for household chores? Yeah that doesn't sound great now does it? And honestly, you should be rethinking this relationship. Because if by some miracle you do manage to get pregnant with him, you're going to be stuck with this a in your life forever whether you divorce them or not, you're going to be stuck with them so, maybe just skip that whole step and consider not being a part of this relationship if he's going to continue treating you like crap

Yes this!!

There could be any number of reasons. I didn’t work when I was heavily pregnant/had a small child but I was still exhausted. Some mental health conditions and/or medication can cause fatigue. Even reading about this man is making me tired and I’ve only cleaned the bathroom.

I think m he shkukd be helping you with your mental health. So doing loving things like making a cup of tea for you, and checking you rested

My dh did nothing when he was off with mental health issues. I look after him. I did all the cooking, cleaning, chikdcare and worked. He wasnt well.

If you feel well enough to fo some housework you probably shoukd as it might help with routine and recovery.

But no adult shoukd have a serf picking up clothes for them. Being tidy and respectful is adult life.

I have no job and do all the housework. He’s lovely to me all the time, pays for everything and behaves like a civilised being. This is not a partnership.

If one person doesn’t work I agree they should do the majority, but I disagree with the way he is speaking with you and making demands. I work PT and I do all of what you’ve listed because my DH works insane hours. Yet he appreciates it, we work as a team, we’re both happy with this set up and he’s respectful and doesn’t leave a mess, drop hai clothes everywhere, clears his plates etc.

Once you quit, you became vulnerable to abusive treatment. Your partner now thinks that because you don't work, you're not just the maid and cook and housekeeper, you're his slave. He treats you as though you are less than him. This is not a relationship of equals. I can't see how slaving for him doesn't affect your mental health more than your job.

Get another job and get out.

Says someone who has suffered from depression.🙄

It's irrelevant if you should or not, the main thing is that your partner should NOT treat you like shit. Under any circumstances.

Hes been speaking to me horribly
time to move on.

Wtf. He's an asshole. I'm a sahm so my dh pays for everything. Our children are teens now but one is autistic so not independant. I do cleaning, laundry and cooking for the kids. Sometimes for my dh but he mostly sorts himself out. He does the grocery shopping every week and pay all bills. For us it's divided fairly but he would never treat me like a maid- and I wouldn't accept it.

If your dp paid for everything I would understand if he thought you should do the majority of housework and laundry but this is not the case here! And even if he did pay he shouldn't be treating yoh like shit. Even hearing about the way he treats you made me sad and mad so no wonder if you're depressed with this asshole! Please leave him- it will only get worse.

Yanbu and he is not your "Partner" ffs if he has no sense of you being in any kind of partnership, does not honour or cherish you, why on earth do you compliment him with such a title?

You are dealing with your own shit right now. Whether working on improving your mental health or working towards whatever needs to happen before you can rejoin rhe world of work, that's the focus of what energy and that's a full-time level of effort. You have no responsibility to do any more of the housework and general domestic upkeep than he does and no more than you did when fully employed.

Please get rid of this tosser

Why are you knackered if you don’t work.

This is really worrying OP. You left your job due to mental health issues so should be focusing on getting yourself better, putting time into yourself and then (when mentally sound) looking for your next job. Of course it’s reasonable for you to pick up a bit more if you’re in the house all day and he’s out working but you don’t have to be his servant. He should be paying you if that’s the bloody case! You’re contributing financially which is great so takes that stress off him. I think he is showing his true colours. I don’t think you can be happy long term with someone like this. Do not have children with this man. It will be a lot worse when you’re on mat leave and sleep deprived. Look after yourself. Get another job if you need it and get yourself out of this relationship.

What was he like before you left your job?

Maybe your mental health is less to do with your job and more to do with an unhappy home life.

What exactly does this diamond bring to the relationship? Because it’s hard to see why on earth you are with him.

If you left to job to try and sort your mental health, being with a man like this will only make it worse.
Hes showing you his true colours now, how can you come back from this?