Should I do all the housework because I have no job?

He's a nasty piece POS. You should use the money you have saved to leave him.

Is the house owned by you both or a rental?

Ok, housework whilst he as at work then.
When he is home, and on the weekend, it should be equal.

In which case he's a complete arse, and you should carefully consider leaving the twat your future with him.

Oh sweetheart, cope yourself on. You deserve better. Lose this jerk. Get your self worth back

What are you doing with your time? If you aren’t in paid employment and your partner is, I think you should be doing all the housework. I understand that financially you contribute the same, but IMO housework shouldn’t be divided proportionately based on the financial contribution to the household; it’s about free time.

However, he shouldn’t be flinging his clothes off where he stands etc. He needs to be an adult and generally tidy up after himself as he moves around the house. You aren’t his slave.

It sounds like he’s lost respect for you and this is probably based on resentment.

Yes of course you should do all of the housework.

Its not about money - are you seriously suggesting that a midwife who works FT should do more housework than her husband who is a neurosurgeon but only works PT because he earns more money?

Housework should be based on number of hours worked, not salary else 90% of women would be at a complete disadvantage.

You should absolutely do all of the housework and cooking etc as that is technically ‘your job’ right now.
(we all know that if this was DH not working all of the posters would say he needs to do all of the housework).

However, that is absolutely no excuse to talk to you like shit and throw his clothes on the floor - my child doesn’t even do that.

Most partners would want to make their poorly partners a cup of tea and it’s very obvious that is resentful of you not working.

You say you’re still contributing the same financially but that is dipping into your savings and by MN standard that is shared money.

How much effort are you putting in to look for a new job?
Is this why he’s so resentful of you do you think because he thinks you’re not trying hard enough?

The dropping the clothes where he stood made me feel sick and we’ve an easygoing house. I’d expect the person at home to do a certain amount WHILE I’m working, but as someone who used to be a sahm, the expectation that people seem to have that everything should be done seven days a week 24 hours a day is beyond ridiculous. Dh wasn’t exactly mr super supportive when I was a sahm, in fact we clashed a lot (life lesson people, only be a sahm if he is the most supportive person ever ever and you have access to your own money should things go wrong), but I’d say he’d say what your partner is doing is shocking

Very sorry, we have always had joint finances. Any money we earn has always been our money.

💯 your mental health will improve as soon as you dump this man. Then you can look after yourself better physically also. I cannot believe he lies on the bed expecting you to set up the tv. and expects you to wait on him like a maid. He sees you as his servant. I am so sad for you, please get out of this relationship.

We’ve time travelled back to the 1950s. It’s a Christmas miracle 🙄

Even if you do it for yourself. and selfishly.

OP is still paying towards bills etc but from her savings. She pays more than her partner does towards them.

As a mother, If you were my daughter I'd advise you to dump this arsehole without hesitation. You will never, ever, have a happy life with him.

Your oh sounds like an utter waste of space and a horrible person, I agree. but if you are at home, and not working, then the responsibility for making your home welcoming and comfortable reverts to you. It is your contribution for the loss of income.

He sounds like an utter pig of a man. Kicking off because he has to put the bin out etc is such a red flag.

You are off sick with mental health issues. You should be taking things easy, and he should being more supportive.
Do you get time off from housework? Does he help at the weekends?

The phrase leave the bastard springs to mind.

Honestly he’s an absolute scumbag. He doesn’t support you financially (or emotionally despite your medical issues) and he doesn’t do anything at home. So what exactly does he do other than make you unhappy? You will be much better off without him.

The issue is not the sharing of housework

The issue is your partner is a pig who has no respect for you

OP I think your mental health would improve immeasurably if you weren't in an abusive relationship where your partner treats you like shit. Please look into finding a way to leave. You won't get better with a partner who treats you this way.

Is that how it's meant to work? Because I put in maybe 25% of finances, but we still do 50/50 on housework.

Your partner is a pig. The way he is treating you is disgusting. It’s abusive.

It's not a question of division of labour here.
Not even about the financial contribution.
The problem is that he does not respect you as a human being and he does not care for you.
What type if people leave their clothes on the floor where they took them off? Even is they had a paid cleaner/housekeeper? Lack of respect and behaviour of a slob not to put them in the laundry basket as a minimum.
What kind of heartless person does not a make a drink for someone who is unwell? That's just cruel. He should be making you a cup of tea without being asked. He should be looking after you when you are unwell like any normal human being.
He is unkind and thinks you're worthless.
Don't waste a minute more with this man.

He sounds abusive..sorry.
Men like him blame their partner for everything.

If this is how he is when you're still contributing financially..imagine his he would be if you weren't.

I'm sure he is also contributing to the state of your mental health.

No wonder your mental health is so bad, when you have a partner who treats you with utter contempt. I would be actively working to get away from him and his emotional abuse.

Sounds awful OP. I'd be planning to get out if I were you. He has no respect for you.

There is a big difference between doing more housework than being a maid.

He takes his clothes off and leaves them
on the floor for you to pick up? Won’t even make you a cup of tea?

You know what you need to do OP!